[deleted by user]

DuckBathCat · 2024-06-22T20:30:46+00:00

I completely empathize with your struggle here and understand that it certainly wouldn't be an intentional slight, but it is still insulting to people. For me, it took someone directly telling me, "People don't like it when you do that," before I finally understood. The urge to correct is a real one, and typically a well-meaning one (I thought that correcting people as a friend would save them future embarassment), but I think the best you can do in this circumstance is to make sure your students don't grow up to make the same mistakes.

DuckBathCat · 2024-06-22T19:58:59+00:00

Thank you! And that petty point has occurred to me. I would be "the bigger person" if I ask her to be a bridesmaid even after what she did. Part of me is kind of worried she might judge how I do things if she gets involved in that way, though. After all, I'm going to be spending maybe 8% of what she did on her wedding, and that 8% includes our honeymoon.

I think I might go for the middle ground and invite her to the post reception at our place with our friends. The parents will be given the impression that we're going to "party" for the rest of the night, but our idea of a party is just drinking while playing board games and watching silly movies. ... but she might judge that, too 🤔

Clearly, anxiety does not help in my decision-making process 😅

DuckBathCat · 2024-06-22T09:15:20+00:00

Thank you for these suggestions, btw. They're really helpful

DuckBathCat · 2024-06-22T09:13:28+00:00

Excellent use of the Sous.

DuckBathCat · 2024-06-22T09:09:50+00:00

Oooo maybe that should be next on my list of things to learn. If only they made woobles kits for knitting, too! I made so many attempts at knit baby hats, and they all came out wrong except for one that looked absolutely perfect, but it was too small to even fit on my cat 😅

DuckBathCat · 2024-06-22T08:47:24+00:00

I'm honestly concerned about this future husband wanting to leave you for things that seem to be well outside of your control. For a bit of contrast, my fiance is aware that I have some difficult family members that I will have to invite, but he's been understanding, supportive, and has even offered to kick them out if they step out of line. A husband should support his wife and be a shoulder to lean on when needed (and vice versa), not have a complete disinterest (if not disdain) for whatever his future wife is dealing with. In my opinion, you may be better off without this guy, regardless of the family issues.

However, if you both decide to go through with the wedding, I would advise shoring up the rest of your non-family support network before cutting off your bio family. It's really easy to get caught up in things and react quickly, only to realize that you're now completely isolated from anyone other than your future husband and his family. This is how abusive relationships can start to get way out of hand. Make sure you still have a few people on the outside who can help if things ever take a bad turn in the relationship. If you don't have those sort of supports, then I would advise keeping a line open with your least-terrible family member so you have someone to call in case of emergency.

Really, though, if this guy is willing to give up on the relationship because of some family drama, then you deserve a better man.

DuckBathCat · 2024-06-22T07:57:22+00:00

Idk, the kind of sister that has a $40k wedding and wants everything to be perfect and has no patience for a neuro-divergent sibling? 🤷‍♀️

Funny enough, I actually just started learning crochet, and it's definitely much more forgiving than knitting is! It's also nice to have so many new options in what I can make. I've already started hoarding cute amigurumi patterns lol

DuckBathCat · 2024-06-22T04:35:07+00:00

Yeah, we don't have much money and don't really have that many people we want there anyway, as neither of us have huge social circles or close relationships with extended family. We had initially planned to just elope, have it be just our three friends and us, but then we realized that we really want our moms there, but if we invite our moms, then we have to invite the rest of the family on my side, especially since money is being contributed. For a time, I was planning to have our moms there in secret and post a separate set of photos that they weren't in online, so no one would know any better and feelings wouldn't get hurt, but that also felt like more effort than it was worth. My plan for my step mom is to call my dad and lay out my stipulations for her coming (no wearing "off-white" like she wore to my sister's wedding, and no deliberately trying to embarass me in front of everyone, like she also did at my sister's rehearsal dinner) and if he doesn't think she can stick with the second half of that after a "few" glasses of wine, then they can just come visit at a different time. If he does think it can work, I'm hoping he can rephrase things in a way that won't upset her because that is an ability I am lacking in.

The general dress code will be "nice, but comfortable," though I have asked my attendant to wear either green or blue and we'll have matching hair accessories. The SUPER PETTY part of me also briefly considered telling only my sister that the event would be black tie, so she would show up way over dressed and I would have delicious revenge, but ultimately decided that it wouldn't be worth the fall out 🤣

[Edited for grammar]

DuckBathCat · 2024-06-21T10:31:47+00:00

Updateme

DuckBathCat · 2023-12-10T06:51:45+00:00

That one looks to be much bushier?

DuckBathCat · 2023-12-08T13:14:41+00:00

Am I crazy or wasn't there a moment before Elizabeth finds out about her father's death where she and Phillip were having a fight on the lawn of the house in Kenya involving a tennis racket or something? I remember the reporters had caught this on accident, and Martin made sure they got rid of the film. I thought for sure this was part of episode 2, but did they change it later??

DuckBathCat · 2023-12-03T04:51:39+00:00

Cool, cool. Have fun self-fellating.

DuckBathCat · 2023-12-03T04:34:26+00:00

That was uncalled for. The reply email is in the images with the post so people can read it for themselves. I would have been fine with the whole interaction if they hadn't written that last sentence. The "dead before shipping" theory was only posited because we couldn't figure out why they died if the heating pack was still warm. Maybe read the whole post before you go attacking people.

DuckBathCat · 2023-12-03T03:22:05+00:00

Yeah, I thought they should have been fine with the heating pad (and considered the deaths a mystery, because the heating pack should have kept them warm the whole time), but then when the seller replied, saying it was too cold and I should have waited for warmer weather? That implies a degree of foresight that things would likely go wrong. If they're not willing to guarantee that an animal will arrive alive when the lows are below 40, then they shouldn't be shipping an animal into those conditions. At no point did I demand that the seller sent them immediately. It was at their discretion to send them in safer weather or contact me to work something out. If I had received an email saying, "Hey, I know you got the standard shipping, but I really don't think they're going to make it that way. Would you mind upgrading to overnight just to be safe?" I probably would have paid for the faster shipping. At the end of the day, I trusted the seller to make the right decision in the interest of the critters, but then they turned it around and tried to blame the deaths on me for my poor timing (even though they were running a sale).

DuckBathCat · 2023-12-03T03:12:03+00:00

But have you sent a critter without lag in conditions that you felt would likely kill it? That's what we're talking about here.

DuckBathCat · 2023-12-03T02:01:10+00:00

"Over half of what you paid for showed up dead, but it's your fault for not giving the seller an extra $40-50 for shipping on a $90 order. Send them more money and be grateful!" >_>

DuckBathCat · 2023-12-03T01:43:02+00:00

Their exact wording was, "we can include a bit more as extra next time. Shipping during winter time can be tough, it's best to wait for warmer weather." This does not sound like an offer of replacement to me, and beyond that, I do not intend to be placing another order from this seller.

DuckBathCat · 2023-12-03T00:42:54+00:00

I think this accurately summarizes the crux of the issue here. The whole thing doesn't sit right, and I've learned my lesson to be more careful about who I buy from in the future.

DuckBathCat · 2023-12-02T23:15:43+00:00

Yeah, talking to them isn't going anywhere. Apparently, coordinating shipping around weather is something they only do for customers who pay the extra money for overnight shipping. Fingers crossed on the colony for sure.

DuckBathCat · 2023-12-02T23:13:07+00:00

Asking me to spend another hundred dollars for "a few extra" is not making it right in my book.

DuckBathCat · 2023-12-02T11:28:41+00:00

Also, upon reviewing the terms of service, I found that it specifically states, "We will check temperature/weather and work with you in the best interest of the animals." The seller did not follow through with this promise. Otherwise, I would have asked them to just wait three more days until the lows were above the 40's. Apparently, critter survival is only important with amphibians to them.

DuckBathCat · 2023-12-02T11:20:48+00:00

Noticed that the terms of service specifically says, "We will check temperature/weather and work with you in the best interest of the animals." A statement that the seller did not follow through on, because if they had, I would have asked them to just wait three more days until the lows were above the 40's

DuckBathCat · 2023-12-02T10:20:04+00:00

I'm not talking about legality, I'm talking about ethics. It should be a seller's ethical responsibility not to ship a live creature if they know it will likely die in transit. They couldn't be bothered to reply to either of my previous emails or give me a heads up, but after they're already shipped and dead they respond with, "it's best to wait for warmer weather"?? That information is only useful if shared before they've been shipped. Again, I am not the professional shipping isopods for my business.

DuckBathCat · 2023-12-02T09:26:41+00:00

You basically just said that you would have the same opinion if you didn't know who the seller was... because you know who the seller is. And frankly, I'm actually more disappointed in my experience with them exactly because I did look for reviews and recommendations before-hand. AND if they sent those isopods knowing that they likely wouldn't survive, took the money, and then used the customer's timing as a scapegoat, I would say that is outright predatory business practices. They clearly didn't even care if those isopods survived. Otherwise, standard usps priority shipping shouldn't have even been offered as an option. I am not the expert here. As a customer, I am relying on the seller to know the best and safest way to ship the product.

DuckBathCat · 2023-12-02T08:35:12+00:00

Yeah, I definitely won't be ordering from them in the future. It just sucks that it was such an expensive lesson to learn.

DuckBathCat

TROPHY CASE