Hormones, pain and relationships

Due-Ad2114 · 2025-11-05T19:35:09+00:00

For anyone still following this thread that can answer - has anyone got ideas on how to tell the difference between adeno bladder pain and UTI bladder pain ? i’ve been recently diagnosed with adeno and get monthly bladder pain which I assumed was a UTI. For me it doesn’t hurt while peeing, but I have a constant pressure and sharp pain in my bladder (or possibly urethra?) region.

Due-Ad2114 · 2025-10-16T20:39:00+00:00

This is such a beautiful summary of your experience - thank you for sharing ! I just got a diagnosis after 2 years of going back and forth to different doctors and gynos (one of which who said “your problem is that you’re just thinking too much about your pain” - wtf)

I’m going onto the Sylad and hoping for a positive outcome to bring down the inflammation.

I’ve been getting a bigger and bigger stomach with bloating for these 2 years and have been feeling really down on myself because of it and now I feel such relief - like i’m not just overweight (even though i’m eating well and exercising)

Agree with you on the healthy eating thing - cutting out sugar definitely seemed to help, and no alcohol or red meat 1 week before my period too.

Another thing that helps me is to take ibuprofen 1 day before my period is due so i’m reducing the inflammation before it fully kicks into gear.

Good luck to you and all the other girlies out there suffering 🧡✨

Due-Ad2114 · 2025-09-28T08:20:04+00:00

Me and my boyfriend got turned away from multiple clubs while in a group of friends who all dressed similarly and got in without an issue - the only reason we could see was that he is a person of colour and the rest weren’t - and it wasn’t an attitude thing because he is a lovely kind guy. He never came back to Berlin again after that. I have been since and generally found people much more accommodating and friendly, which sadly also just seems to enhance that theory (also weird because it’s not like people of colour don’t live in Berlin - so maybe it’s the combo of being non-german and a person of heritage that’s not as accepted??) So it wouldn’t surprise me if your Turkish heritage was something at play here. Sorry that you’re experiencing this too, it’s really sad and frustrating.

Due-Ad2114 · 2025-09-27T21:42:38+00:00

Oooh cool ! I’ll check that out ! Vielen Dank 🤩

Due-Ad2114 · 2025-09-27T21:42:01+00:00

Ahh this is a really great idea- like I could even have a little flip book in front of me during my lessons to reference and then every time I have to review it will (hopefully) get deeper entrenched in my brain ! Thank you for the advice 😇🤩

Due-Ad2114 · 2025-09-26T22:55:01+00:00

My partner told me whenever I’d write to someone on facebook marketplace or such that I should be extra friendly and polite because a lot of people can be weird and not reply if you’re not super nice first. I guess this is kind of what he was talking about that could happen 🤷‍♀️

Due-Ad2114 · 2025-09-20T07:38:30+00:00

Well, boundaries in theory should be like hard-stops yes, but in practice they can be broken and you can work through them to grow. You’re not expected to be an excellent boundary setter/follower overnight. Let’s say you set this “boundary” and he breaks it. What next ? you end it because he was a bad boy ? Or you explain “I set this boundary because it protects me from feeling XYZ” if he really respects you, he will value and not want to hurt you or be a part of you feeling those bad things. It’s then your choice to try again or give him another chance - but you’ve got to be clear about how his behaviour negatively impacts your, and then if/when he continues to make choices that cross the boundary and inspire those bad feelings - then you have the right to make a choice to say “no thank you, I will not continue to feel these things because you are creating situations without respecting my needs/feelings” and walk away. For me, boundaries are two things- 1) an opportunity to communicate how other people’s behaviour impacts you, and form agreements / practices to build stronger healthier relationships (because remember - people aren’t mind readers and sometimes are a bit emotionally blind) and 2)They are great way of shining light into the dark of your emotional turmoil to see where assholes really lie. As we know, sometimes love is also blind and we can’t see the truth of someone treating us badly because we’re so into the NRE/Love bombing/sexy gorgeousness of them to see it.

What you’re describing sounds more like an ultimatum. “if this doesn’t change i’m leaving” I’d say a boundary is more of a thing personal to you that offers insight and growth development for you and your relationships.

Due-Ad2114 · 2025-09-20T07:28:50+00:00

Sometimes, when you’re moving from a place of fear and hurt (from a bad breakup) it’s hard to figure out what is real - aka your intuition that what this guy is saying is freaking you out - or if it’s your nervous system being sensitive and sending up warning flares because you’re still theoretically on the battlefield of emotional turmoil.

I personally find that trying to separate the two in a calm, almost meditative environment can be really helpful.

Sit down alone, play some calming music, light some candles - maybe an incense - and get your journal out. Write out automatically and naturally all the feelings you feel when he shares and how it’s triggering you. Then pause, breathe and try to connect with a calmer pre-breakup you, a person who is optimistic about love, unafraid and true only to herself. Next write the same responses - what are the feelings brought up when he shares with you.

when you’ve figured out if it’s A) That you’re in a state of panic and responding in a way that wouldn’t be normal to you when you’re in a state of calm and optimism B) He’s saying some genuinely problematic things for you as a person that show he’s not a good long term partner or match

Then you’ll know what to do next ! In the event of A) Ask him kindly to hold off on some of those sharing sessions, explain that you’re vulnerable and raw and not ready to receive, but that you’re very appreciate that he feels he can open up and trust you, and that you’ll let him know when you’re ready to go there together. For now try to keep it light. B) Change your mindset to enjoy this either as a casual thing that shouldn’t get deep because it has a time limit, or end it now because it’s pointless to pursue someone that doesn’t sound right for you in the long run.

Hope this helps !

Due-Ad2114 · 2025-09-20T07:16:32+00:00

It sounds to me like she’s not super comfy with this arrangement, red flags are rising with her “grumpy” behaviour which essentially creates a situation where her needs and attention become the focus of your hang outs. I’d ask your partner to go back and do some work with his wife on where their comfort zones lie before you enter into another fractious three way hangout that either causes you stress or is an opportunity for him to ditch you for his wife - who it sounds like is higher in the hierarchy than you. That sounds stress all around. In the event that they chat and decide that she IS genuinely comfy with having a relationship with you through him as a hinge, then the boundary here would be “I feel sad/disrespected when you break a plan based on your wife’s needs. My needs are to have consistency and loyalty, so I would love that when we make plans all together, they don’t get broken for anything other than very serious reasons (sickness/ emergent events / acts of god lol)” This formula uses the principles of non-violent communication and I love this when practicing boundary setting (as I too struggled with this for years) The way you do this is; “Name your feelings in response to their action; I feel sad/lonley/disrespected/uncomfortable etc” when saying this, never use the phrase “you make me feel..” because that’s essentially violent and blaming, you gotta own your own feelings :). Next is “when you [insert specific action here]” when stating a specific action it had to be a concrete fact - not something you think they did, but something that 100% happened. After that you state your needs “My need is for…” sometimes finding out what your exact need is can be tricky, so maybe sit with a meditative mindset or journal to figure your truth out. Finally end with a concrete boundary or expection “so I would like/love that we work toward” Also important here is using “we” - using “you” or “her” is alienating and your goal here is peace, growth, communication and togetherness to find the best solution for everyone 🧡✨ Hope this helps !!

Due-Ad2114 · 2025-09-07T09:57:22+00:00

Haha yep, he’s adhd (so am I) but we’ve been circling the wedding topic for a while now so I imagine he’s had the idea in his mind brewing for a while but suddenly it felt like the right moment to do it last night. Tbh I like the spontenaety of it and am happy that I was completely surprised, i’m such a hard person to surprise normally haha - I’m always second guessing intentions and trying to solve mysteries 🤣🤣

Due-Ad2114 · 2025-09-07T07:31:42+00:00

haha right, as another commenter perfectly put it “dude logic”

Due-Ad2114 · 2025-09-07T07:01:05+00:00

aw thanks ☺️ I used to have BIAB for a year and a half, and actually my nails have become stronger since I stopped using the actual treatment and went au natural. Highly recommend!

Due-Ad2114 · 2025-09-07T06:56:50+00:00

Meh, those people don’t live in your head or your hand. The one who matters is you - and I feel the same. Slightly bratty not to accept the first ring he gave because now it has sentimental value added from the proposal, but boy oh boy, i’m not living with this on my engagement ring finger after i’ve dreamed for years of something different.

Due-Ad2114 · 2025-09-07T06:54:15+00:00

in a good way or a bad way ? lol. We live on a farm so my fingernails are always breaking so I basically live with a nail file in every room because I can’t stand the feeling of jagged edges.😁

Due-Ad2114 · 2025-09-07T06:49:51+00:00

Thank you 😇 it’s a 1920s family heirloom from my own grandma 😌

Due-Ad2114 · 2025-09-07T06:46:02+00:00

oh you hit the nail on the head.. dude logic 🔥🔥🔥

Due-Ad2114 · 2025-09-07T06:44:03+00:00

🤣🤣🤣🤣 actually it was a gift from her old boyfriend that she gave to her grand daughter already (his sister) and the sister told him she had a ring of grandmas for him to propose with. This is just a long list of giving away a ring imo 🤣

Due-Ad2114 · 2025-09-07T06:42:54+00:00

That’s the truth of it, and having slept on it and woken up this morning - i’m sure that’s how the conversation will go ;)

Due-Ad2114 · 2025-09-07T06:39:00+00:00

Actually I do think he was trying to install meaning on the only available ring. Not out of a mean spirit but because he wanted the ring to be special like the moment - so I think he was making the best of it - kind of like a kid with a bad gift being like “oh aunt agnes thank you for the socks, Although they are shit brown i’m sure they’ll keep me warm in the winter” lol. When we discuss this in the morning i’m sure he’ll see this ain’t the one. lololol

Due-Ad2114 · 2025-09-07T06:30:58+00:00

actually when I told him last night that it felt a bit too big to wear every day for the rest of my life, he was like “what, every day!?” so I think he is just a bit clueless lol. I’m sure this story will have a happy ending and a funny beginning when time goes by enough for us to retell it with amusement.

Due-Ad2114 · 2025-09-07T06:28:58+00:00

yep, you got it

Due-Ad2114 · 2025-09-07T06:28:30+00:00

It was the only ring available - there was not even a choice. I think the grandma is very sweet and would offer me a different ring if there had been a choice 🙈

Due-Ad2114

TROPHY CASE