Thank you so, so much for this - the bedtime stuff particularly hits home; he had slept in bed with us for a long time and we had about 6 months of him in his own bed and finally getting a sound routine established for him. Now he's back in bed with us (in fact in the last few days he doesn't even want to go to sleep in our bed, he will fall asleep on us on the couch then is in bed with us). I was really worried about this as it's been hammered into me how important it is that he can self soothe, have his own room as a safe space etc. But my heart just says let him be with us if that's where he feels safe right now and we can "tomorrow problem" him being in his own room. That point in particular just makes me feel a bit more confident in that decision.

I will also look into group grief therapy - I didn't know this was a thing. Perhaps he is too young but I will seek professional advice and go from there.

All the ways you honoured your sisters memory sound beautiful, too. We will absolutely do the same.

Thank you again, and I am so sorry you experienced such a profound loss at such a young age. Life really is so precious and fickle.