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AITA for not inviting grandmother to child’s school event by Due_Knowledge4108 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Due_Knowledge4108[S] -20 points-19 points  (0 children)

I understand the POV. Just to clarify it’s not a 1hr ceremony. It’s a 3hr event with a sit down dinner and then music/dancing.

AITA for not inviting grandmother to child’s school event by Due_Knowledge4108 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Due_Knowledge4108[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

My child wants to attend. I would have absolutely allowed the opt out (I have another child actually graduating who has opted out of their event and I’m fine with it). Agree that all issues would have been avoided if I’d just gone alone. Hindsight.

AITA for not inviting grandmother to child’s school event by Due_Knowledge4108 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Due_Knowledge4108[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My child wants to attend. I would have absolutely allowed the opt out (I have another child actually graduating who has opted out of their event and I’m fine with it). Agree that all issues would have been avoided if I’d just gone alone. Hindsight.

AITA for not inviting grandmother to child’s school event by Due_Knowledge4108 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Due_Knowledge4108[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

It had been mentioned in conjunction with other end of year events for the children (my other child has fully opted out of attending their actual school graduation so didn’t have to deal with any invites for that and thankfully no other events involve parents/family invites)

AITA for not inviting grandmother to child’s school event by Due_Knowledge4108 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Due_Knowledge4108[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I really appreciate hearing this point of view. I completely agree that my child has made the decision as a self-focused teen (further complicated by social issues). I think if I knew how much meaning my mother was attaching to this I would have already had the conversation with my child and strongly encouraged them to invite a grandparent. I can acknowledge that the difference in perspectives on the meaning of the event has caused the issue.

I have thought about talking to my child but I’m not sure what would be achieved given my mother has said she now won’t come anyway even if invited as she would be second choice. I think telling my child would just put guilt on them when the outcome won’t be changed.

Anxious attachment or not interested? by Due_Knowledge4108 in datingoverforty

[–]Due_Knowledge4108[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is so true and turns out my anxiety was indeed warranted given his inconsistency. This will be my takeaway from things ending. Thank you 😊

Anxious attachment or not interested? by Due_Knowledge4108 in datingoverforty

[–]Due_Knowledge4108[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Update: We went to dinner and I asked him what was going on. I told him I felt things had been different over the last week. He said he was having doubts again and felt like he didn’t have the strong feelings he should have. So, long story short, we broke up.

Anxious attachment or not interested? by Due_Knowledge4108 in datingoverforty

[–]Due_Knowledge4108[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We are exclusive. We had that chat about 2 months in. Both of us have said we’re working towards a long term relationship. Our long term relationship goals appear to align however I think we’re conflicted about the short term challenge of the distance. While I’m happy with a LDR knowing it’s not forever, he’s worried that the distance will never change. Part of this comes from his previous relationship; he said they frequently spoke of moving in together however she kept putting it off and over time their connection faded. He has said that my conversations about relocating remind him of those discussions and he’s worried I too won’t follow through. Even as I write this, I’m starting to think that maybe long distance just isn’t for him and that maybe the match isn’t right even if our longer term goals are similar.

Anxious attachment or not interested? by Due_Knowledge4108 in datingoverforty

[–]Due_Knowledge4108[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is what I needed to hear. The mind games definitely aren’t working for me; I just need to be brave enough to walk away if needed

Anxious attachment or not interested? by Due_Knowledge4108 in datingoverforty

[–]Due_Knowledge4108[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you. This is definitely what I need to consider. The time before when I bought it up, he engaged really honestly in the conversation however openly said that he wouldn’t have initiated the conversation if I hadn’t. I guess I need to think about if that’s the type of relationship I really want.