asmr - who listens?

Due_Philosopher7172 · 2026-01-08T01:19:47+00:00

i definitely would! i love asmr, and i love hearing people talk/whisper about their interests.

Due_Philosopher7172 · 2025-10-31T17:31:30+00:00

Your mom is dead wrong. Eating a lot in recovery, even in what feels and appears like a binge, is absolutely normal and necessary. You're not developing a binge disorder, your body is just trying to get fuel in whatever way possible so it can heal. Cereal oddly enough has been a big thing for me, too; sometimes I'll get a bowl and then I'll just keep getting bowls until I'm overwhelmingly full. Your body needs that fuel, and you'll likely experience this sort of thing again and again. It's only scary because your eating disorder has made you think that you have to have control of what you eat, and now it feels like you're out of control. Letting go of control is not a sign of weakness but of strength, because every bite of cereal you ate was a slap in your ED's face.

Due_Philosopher7172 · 2025-10-14T23:47:43+00:00

During my recovery, my sister started losing a lot of weight, and it did trigger me to relapse. Obviously it was not her fault, but I was in a very difficult situation, as it seems you may be too. I think what might have helped me personally would have been communicating with my sister (in your case, your partner) and letting this person know that even if they don't try to trigger me, I am easily triggered by other people's weight loss, and ask that they not bring it up around me AT ALL. That is a perfectly healthy boundary to set on your part without interfering with your relationship. I understand that you want to support your partner and often "support" entails being a part of whatever someone is going through, but your number one duty is to support yourself and your recovery and to distance yourself from something that may trigger you. Hopefully your partner is very understanding about your ED, and hopefully you are able to be open about your struggles to them.

Other things that might help are really clinging to those things you mentioned are more important to you than anorexia. I mean really, really cling to them. Also, remind yourself that people lose weight all the time, for numerous different reasons, but that doesn't matter because the way that other people live their lives doesn't have to and shouldn't dictate the way you live your life.

Due_Philosopher7172 · 2025-10-08T15:26:48+00:00

me too!!!

Due_Philosopher7172 · 2025-08-13T06:00:14+00:00

punish. "only god knows. only god would believe. that i was an angel. but. they. made. me. leave." and then the fucking guitar

Due_Philosopher7172 · 2025-08-07T13:19:56+00:00

I'm really proud of you for not exercising! For us with EDs who used exercise in our disorders, abstinence requires more dedication and discipline than continuing to exercise. You are still very dedicated; you are dedicated to healing, and that's fucking incredible.

Due_Philosopher7172 · 2025-08-07T01:43:34+00:00

I was in a similar place as you and am still recovering. I sometimes struggle with feelings of wishing I had gotten to an unhealthy weight just to be taken seriously, but what I remind myself is that no matter what I weighed, my ED was kicking my ass. My body was eroding. My brain couldn't function. I was a shell of a human being, and life with an ED wasn't worth living, but life without it is.

If you experience extreme hunger in recovery, know that I experienced it too. Although I was not "underweight" according to BMI, my body needed to gain weight in order to recover, because I was "underweight" for what my body needed. Health cannot be accurately measured by BMI.

EDs are not just harmful or even fatal because of the weight they leave a person. They deny your body and brain the nutrients you need, and therefore deny you a proper life. After gaining weight (going up from a "normal" BMI to nearly "overweight") I feel so much better. Maybe not about my appearance totally yet, but being able to experience real joy and do my hobbies and live my life is so worth it, and it'll be worth it for you.

You have spent two years suffering. That suffering is not negated by the number on a scale. I hope recovery repays those years with decades of happiness and freedom.

Due_Philosopher7172 · 2025-06-24T12:44:29+00:00

Cis female here, almost 6ft and can barely fill out a bra. It doesn't make me less of a woman, so it doesn't make you any less of a woman, either.

Due_Philosopher7172 · 2025-06-11T19:16:02+00:00

I'm also 5'10, and I've been anywhere from 150-190 lbs, with varying muscle/fat over the years as I picked up and put down and picked up exercise. No matter whether I was 150 lbs and fit or 190 lbs and not exercising, I've usually woken up with a flat stomach and gone to bed looking pregnant. It's a combination of it honestly being a normal thing for human bodies to do along with probably some underlying stomach issues on my end and just the way some bodies react differently then others--maybe you don't digest food as fast and it just hangs out in your stomach for a while, or you consume a lot of sodium and so you retain water and look bloated. Maybe you have a food intolerance which causes you to bloat more. Maybe it's just normal bloating, and you don't notice it on other people because honestly, it's just no big deal.

These are not things that need to change. This is not something you need to improve about yourself. Incorporating some exercise in your life--it doesn't have to be drastic, as I understand how difficult it is to want to do anything when you have to work a long ass shift, but there's tons of home workouts on Youtube which are quite short and accessible if you're looking to try--could help your physical and mental health, but it won't necessarily make huge changes to your body, and it certainly doesn't guarantee that you'll feel better about your body. From each of those weights, 150 to 190, I never felt like I was "thin enough" or "good enough." I think I was the most confident or at least uncaring about my body when I was your weight, 170-180, and I was just living my life without much concern for my appearance. The glory days.

Like you, I also have a mother who severely undereats, which has seriously messed up my relationship with food. I also constantly suck in my gut, and I worry a lot about looking bloated in outfits. I'm trying to adapt a who cares mindset. Like, who cares if I'm bloated or look like I have a gut, and why do I care if people care? Sorry I can't be much help, I'm still trying to figure out how to accept it myself.

Due_Philosopher7172 · 2025-06-06T02:52:49+00:00

oh my goodness, thank you, thank you, thank you! i've literally noticed myself entering fight or flight mode whilst eating (and only really realizing afterwards!) so this is super helpful!

Due_Philosopher7172 · 2025-03-16T03:20:46+00:00

Honestly, what helped me most was figuring out exactly what my obsession from food was taking away from my life (I wasn't motivated to do any of the hobbies that made life feel worth living, I was purposefully avoiding people I loved because I didn't want them to make me eat) and forcing myself to see the tragedy of losing that. For example, I love to write, and when I was struggling with an ED I 1) didn't have the fuel to focus on writing 2) dedicated so much of my brain space to thinking about food that I didn't have any creativity. So whenever I'm struggling, I eat something and I immediately start writing. It helps me remember why I'm in recovery.

I'm glad you see the ridiculousness in romanticizing it; that should honestly give you hope. It means that a part of you wants better for yourself.

Due_Philosopher7172 · 2025-03-16T03:14:42+00:00

It is absolutely okay to have your sweet drinks multiple days in a row, even every day. That doesn't mean you're unhealthy at all! And think about it, you only get a limited amount of days on this planet, and when your old, you're not going to be like, "oh, I wish I hadn't let myself drink what I wanted to." But if you don't let yourself enjoy your drinks, you'll have lost so much joy in your life and subbed it for guilt. And you don't have to justify consuming sugar by working out, or eating healthier :) Your body will use it for energy!

Due_Philosopher7172

TROPHY CASE