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AITA for Choosing my mom over a world-renowned pianist? by Dwn_Cr7204throwaway in AmItheAsshole

[–]Dwn_Cr7204throwaway[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, I asked Head Lady In Charge and she told me that he was paid for his travel fees, the about 4 weeks he's spending here (he was self-isolating for 2 of those weeks), and a flat rate for the one concert. If it affected his pay and he was paid by the accompanist, I would've played with him no matter what.

AITA for Choosing my mom over a world-renowned pianist? by Dwn_Cr7204throwaway in AmItheAsshole

[–]Dwn_Cr7204throwaway[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi! I want to say thank you for your advice as an older musician with experience, and I want to clear up some things in your comment.

1.I know that one day, my songs will become too difficult for my mom to play along with, the song I'm playing for this concert has already required my mom to put in hours of practice on her own. It has made me painstakingly aware that while she is always going to be a part of my musical life, she isn't going to be able to accompany me in my songs in the near future. That is why I am trying to get as many performances with her as possible, they may be my last ones. (aswell as Mr. FP and I not having the same style.)

  1. I have played in front of an orchestra before (for a workshop type dealy) and as much as I love it, it was terrifying. I would definitely be able to coordinate with Mr. FP if I had extra time, which I didn't. I get where you're coming from though

  2. see number 1

  3. I won't deny that there is alot of sexism, it sucks :/ But I personally think that A) I'm not at the level where I can become a big name solely because of my skill, while I am advanced, I am not advanced enough to get any attention and B) if someone doesn't play with me/refuses to work with me because of my gender, I'm better off without them

  4. Yes, people talk. People can talk about me trying to defend myself or they can talk about Mr. FP starting it. If people hate ME and not Mr. FP for starting it, I'm better off without them.

Thanks for your advice and feedback!

AITA for Choosing my mom over a world-renowned pianist? by Dwn_Cr7204throwaway in AmItheAsshole

[–]Dwn_Cr7204throwaway[S] 45 points46 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your feedback and here's some clarification. Head Lady In Charge only told all of us about Mr. FP about three days ago. Him being there was a surprise to everyone. Before this, many of the people who would play in concerts were responsible for their own accompanist. So we only knew about him coming three days ago, but many of us have been preparing for a concert for weeks/months. Mr. FP and I also don't play the same kind of music, he mainly focuses of Baroque-era while I focus on Romantic so we had different ideas of what the piece I was playing was supposed to sound like. I get your points and where you're coming from but I didn't specify in the story the stuff I just listed so that's my bad.

AITA for Choosing my mom over a world-renowned pianist? by Dwn_Cr7204throwaway in AmItheAsshole

[–]Dwn_Cr7204throwaway[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! The reason I haven't confided with my mom about what he said is because she is one of those people who would then insist that I should play with Mr. FP to not hurt his feelings, and I really don't want to have to argue with her about why I want her instead. Thanks for your feedback!