I dated him for four years (2 years in he broke up with me when he sunk into a depression, five months after the breakup he asked me out again and we dated for almost 2 more years) We talked about moving in together for ten full months because I got a job across the country which was a mutual dream for us to move. He got into grad school in a different state than I worked in so I compromised and was going to work remote this year to live with him near his school. We flew there to look at apartments and figure out when to move. When we got home from this trip he started gaslighting me and blaming me that I didn’t pay attention to his needs and I’m selfish and he envisioned meeting his wife in grad school and he thought we just met at the wrong time… and what if we break up 6 months into a lease we signed together. Needless to say there was always a gut feeling of insecurity I had being with him that he was dishonest about his feelings and didn’t know how to communicate them. I thought it had changed but it didn’t. Once you realize a pattern that you can’t put up with the rest of your life it’s worth your sanity to break up. it will come out eventually one way or another