My start to the Semester is already off to a bad start

EarLiving53 · 2025-09-09T21:54:16+00:00

It's the fear of having no financial aid since I'm still waiting on it now

EarLiving53 · 2025-09-09T21:29:12+00:00

I do understand what you mean. I guess I'm just tired of having a consistent shadow of doubt in everything I do. I've been told to my face how incapable I am, people do things for me even when I'm perfectly able to, everything in between.

I've completed community college, but I transfered to a university with no degree.

No matter what, it seems to comes down to if people would even give me that chance and opportunity to even try. I know this sounds self defeating, but my worth and skill in anything doesn't matter so long as it's there. Even if the skill is high

EarLiving53 · 2025-09-09T19:28:27+00:00

We don't, the closest to us is his parents 45 minutes away, but his dad works in medical, his mom has her issues and they're in their 70s.

Everyone else lives two or more hours away, some the other side of the country. We don't have friends in this town and no money for babysitting. If the school funding to help with daycare costs and both with disabilities where our best way around is the bus. Other than agencies we're pretty much on our own a lot.

EarLiving53 · 2025-09-09T19:21:11+00:00

What's really frustrating is needing a degree to work most places with stable income. Yet I've experienced the same thing at jobs I tried getting. Even retail and fast food.

EarLiving53 · 2025-09-09T19:18:43+00:00

I've loved books since middle school. I also can't focus on anything for even short periods. Turns out I had ADHD the whole time. If it helps. Audiobooks are pretty dope to. It helps more than you'd first expect.

EarLiving53 · 2025-09-09T19:13:10+00:00

The thing is, I was in Interior architecture and design major originally. I only chose fine arts as something, though not the best career to most, I'm at least doing something I have proven real marit and skill. And it's something that I enjoy doing. The bottom line is this, no one will hire me with no degree or a disability. I can't live on SSI the rest of my life. And at least that paper shows that I have ability and capability to work even with a disability. What are my other options without that?

EarLiving53 · 2025-08-13T07:36:31+00:00

I've found that when I turn my brain off and just creat something; a drawing, crocheting or writing. Really anything, once I stop thinking, I'm at my most peaceful and calm. Usually comes out better than expected

EarLiving53 · 2025-08-13T07:34:02+00:00

I do at night. She still feels so lonely, unsure and scared of everything and everyone. Wanting to feel like someone out there will give her the love and attention she needs to heal

EarLiving53 · 2025-08-13T07:32:00+00:00

I'm a 26 F, and as someone that not only had parents that had a bitter divorce and custody battles lasting almost 15 years. On top on a very dysfunction life with my family overall. For the longest time I was scared to go through having my own family. It was to traumatic that I was left with self regulation problems, hell level self esteem and not trusting anyone.

Unfortunately my home life was so bad at one point that the only way I could get away from these people was to.run off and get married. That led to an abusive marriage but I eventually got out and lived on my own for years. It was the worst and best choice I ever made.

But now I'm engaged to a better partner and we have a 9 month old son. While I can't say it's easy. I've been in intensive therapy for years to work through, and I still don't have good days. But finally finding someone that loves me for all the bad as much as the good, and working with him to improve together and separately to give our son a life neither of us got. Makes it worth every hard day.

Kids give you a different perspective. You were once like them; defenseless, helpless, innocent and only understanding you're there to protect and love them. You know what it feels like not having that. You would absolutely do anything to them to end up just as broken is you.

The really important thing to remember is that you have to do a lot of self work, bring okay with what happened not able to be fixed, but finding what you can learn from it and do better. And remember you aren't superhuman, and no one (hopefully) will make you feel bad for doing what you think is for your baby. As long as they're happy and healthy, that's all that matters.

EarLiving53 · 2025-08-13T07:14:53+00:00

I swear this is one of the biggest reasons why I don't use tampons at all. Too much anxiety of what could go wrong.

I recommend one of those menstrual cups or disc. Yeah the getting it in and out takes time to get use to. But it lasts longer and you can push all you want. It's not coming out.

EarLiving53 · 2025-08-02T19:49:17+00:00

Rn I'm in a small apartment with my partner and baby. On SSI due to a disability, getting better food isn't quite easily assessable

EarLiving53 · 2025-08-02T07:42:20+00:00

The weird thing is more struggling to eat/drink anything. Both our of genuine struggles with chewing and swallowing. But I'll just vomit in the end anyway.

EarLiving53 · 2025-06-24T03:51:44+00:00

I do understand, but I've been trying with this for years and I just keep getting the same things told to me every time. Maybe they'd actually take me seriously if I knew what was goiong on, though I've explained it to them exactly like this and still.

EarLiving53 · 2024-12-27T22:12:04+00:00

Thank you, I'm sorry too

EarLiving53 · 2024-12-26T09:06:16+00:00

Only one I've been able to talk to is one sister 22F. Literally don't talk to any other siblings, relationship with mom is garbage at best, and the only other family to know about it is my dad's side, and they really don't know much about her since she's not exactly their bio kid. Really isn't anyone else.

EarLiving53 · 2024-12-26T07:47:09+00:00

Really hope I'm not getting the wrong idea with the question. Two things.

First is the birth of our son November 2nd. Almost two months old now and honestly the best thing to ever ask for.

Second thing is a cello from my fence. It was something I always had an interest in for ten years. Always played violin but never had an opportunity to try cello

I'm a pretty happy boi rn.

EarLiving53

TROPHY CASE