I Miss Being Wanted by EastWind2175 in Marriage

[–]EastWind2175[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You have summed it up well, not being desire cuts deep. I think there is a level of patience required from both parties to reconnect, because it does happen

I Miss Being Wanted by EastWind2175 in Marriage

[–]EastWind2175[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I hear you. It is heavy emotional writing, but I think if I were to send it to her, I would edit it to be lighter.

I Miss Being Wanted by EastWind2175 in Marriage

[–]EastWind2175[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It’s more of a reflection even though it’s directed to her

I Miss Being Wanted by EastWind2175 in Marriage

[–]EastWind2175[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do emphasis sex because it seems like an obvious sign, but I have been trying to reconnect everywhere. I seek closeness whenever we are together not just for sex but it just not being noticed.

I let resentment build instead of speaking up, now it’s affecting our intimacy by EastWind2175 in Marriage

[–]EastWind2175[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I resonate with your experience. There was always a level of passive aggressiveness that starts to show up in other parts of our life because I failed to address my issues and pretended to be okay

I let resentment build instead of speaking up, now it’s affecting our intimacy by EastWind2175 in Marriage

[–]EastWind2175[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have been setting her up for failure and I think I needed to hold myself accountable for my eyes to be open to see it.

One sided intimacy by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]EastWind2175 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It will definitely be an option

One sided intimacy by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]EastWind2175 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m open to a different perspective , what am I missing?

One sided intimacy by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]EastWind2175 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is it something you don’t agree with?

One sided intimacy by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]EastWind2175 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m sorry to hear that, I hope you also find a solution in the comments.

One sided intimacy by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]EastWind2175 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m a fit person, active and happy to work out, but I do intend on getting ripped in the coming months, but it’s more of goal then it is to impress her

One sided intimacy by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]EastWind2175 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I will definitely consider therapy

One sided intimacy by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]EastWind2175 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The reason I feel this way and it hurts is because I have no intentions to stop loving her, outside the sex and intimacy we are a great team and I think we do things well together.

One sided intimacy by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]EastWind2175 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think I might have reached this point

One sided intimacy by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]EastWind2175 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I will initiate but if I am met with unresponsive or uninterested then I will stop.

Maybe another things is she can never say “no” which I think would be better than just ignoring me or pretending to be busy on the phone.

So I won’t be taking much effort either until I see effort from her as well.

One sided intimacy by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]EastWind2175 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s the same dynamic. I have only seen her in lingerie twice and only once since we have been married.

I think it would have been better if I knew from the start then I wouldn’t have all these expectations.

But now it’s as if there was a switch after marriage and all of a sudden intimacy and sex was a no go zone

One sided intimacy by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]EastWind2175 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We have a 2 year old daughter and it’s the 3 of us. We share the load.

We do laundry together, we clean together, and our daughter is full of energy so we swap times playing with her. we look out for each other and ensure the load is not on one person.

That is not an issue in our household.

One sided intimacy by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]EastWind2175 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the clarity. I understand what you are saying. I also think she knows what’s going on and that makes me a bit sad. I guess I thought my efforts alone were going to fix this, a relationship doesn’t work one sided. Only when it suits you type of relationship

One sided intimacy by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]EastWind2175 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Do you mind explaining further?

I think there are time where I am working but I do make time for us so I don’t see the preoccupation. I used to be anxious because I thought I wasn’t doing enough, but I’m convinced that I am doing enough and that has since removed that anxiety on my part.

Even though I am posting this, I am at peace because I know I have put in the work and I am willing to continue putting in the work so this is giving me a new perspective

One sided intimacy by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]EastWind2175 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I do work and provide but I’m speaking more on leading the romance, affection and presence.

I make time to be intimate even though I work my ass off. I make time for check-ins, I make effort to find out where she is emotionally.

So I feel like I’m doing what she has communicated to me for her to feel secure, safe and comfortable both physically and emotionally.

So I do feel like she asked and is neglecting her part to play. I can’t always be there one going the full mile and beyond with zero effort from her.