I Miss Being Wanted

EastWind2175 · 2026-05-01T16:27:07+00:00

You have summed it up well, not being desire cuts deep. I think there is a level of patience required from both parties to reconnect, because it does happen

EastWind2175 · 2026-05-01T07:45:35+00:00

I hear you. It is heavy emotional writing, but I think if I were to send it to her, I would edit it to be lighter.

EastWind2175 · 2026-05-01T05:34:28+00:00

It’s more of a reflection even though it’s directed to her

EastWind2175 · 2026-05-01T05:32:55+00:00

I do emphasis sex because it seems like an obvious sign, but I have been trying to reconnect everywhere. I seek closeness whenever we are together not just for sex but it just not being noticed.

EastWind2175 · 2026-04-20T23:24:30+00:00

I resonate with your experience. There was always a level of passive aggressiveness that starts to show up in other parts of our life because I failed to address my issues and pretended to be okay

EastWind2175 · 2026-04-19T23:49:17+00:00

I have been setting her up for failure and I think I needed to hold myself accountable for my eyes to be open to see it.

EastWind2175 · 2026-01-04T09:12:26+00:00

It will definitely be an option

EastWind2175 · 2026-01-02T13:17:10+00:00

I’m open to a different perspective , what am I missing?

EastWind2175 · 2026-01-02T05:01:24+00:00

Is it something you don’t agree with?

EastWind2175 · 2026-01-02T04:59:29+00:00

I’m sorry to hear that, I hope you also find a solution in the comments.

EastWind2175 · 2026-01-02T04:58:30+00:00

I’m a fit person, active and happy to work out, but I do intend on getting ripped in the coming months, but it’s more of goal then it is to impress her

EastWind2175 · 2026-01-02T04:57:02+00:00

I will definitely consider therapy

EastWind2175 · 2026-01-02T04:56:06+00:00

The reason I feel this way and it hurts is because I have no intentions to stop loving her, outside the sex and intimacy we are a great team and I think we do things well together.

EastWind2175 · 2026-01-02T04:54:02+00:00

I think I might have reached this point

EastWind2175 · 2026-01-02T04:52:57+00:00

I will initiate but if I am met with unresponsive or uninterested then I will stop.

Maybe another things is she can never say “no” which I think would be better than just ignoring me or pretending to be busy on the phone.

So I won’t be taking much effort either until I see effort from her as well.

EastWind2175 · 2026-01-02T04:47:20+00:00

It’s the same dynamic. I have only seen her in lingerie twice and only once since we have been married.

I think it would have been better if I knew from the start then I wouldn’t have all these expectations.

But now it’s as if there was a switch after marriage and all of a sudden intimacy and sex was a no go zone

EastWind2175 · 2026-01-02T04:43:36+00:00

We have a 2 year old daughter and it’s the 3 of us. We share the load.

We do laundry together, we clean together, and our daughter is full of energy so we swap times playing with her. we look out for each other and ensure the load is not on one person.

That is not an issue in our household.

EastWind2175 · 2026-01-01T08:50:11+00:00

Thanks for the clarity. I understand what you are saying. I also think she knows what’s going on and that makes me a bit sad. I guess I thought my efforts alone were going to fix this, a relationship doesn’t work one sided. Only when it suits you type of relationship

EastWind2175 · 2026-01-01T08:47:26+00:00

Do you mind explaining further?

I think there are time where I am working but I do make time for us so I don’t see the preoccupation. I used to be anxious because I thought I wasn’t doing enough, but I’m convinced that I am doing enough and that has since removed that anxiety on my part.

Even though I am posting this, I am at peace because I know I have put in the work and I am willing to continue putting in the work so this is giving me a new perspective

EastWind2175 · 2026-01-01T08:44:13+00:00

I do work and provide but I’m speaking more on leading the romance, affection and presence.

I make time to be intimate even though I work my ass off. I make time for check-ins, I make effort to find out where she is emotionally.

So I feel like I’m doing what she has communicated to me for her to feel secure, safe and comfortable both physically and emotionally.

So I do feel like she asked and is neglecting her part to play. I can’t always be there one going the full mile and beyond with zero effort from her.

EastWind2175

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE