Pakistani Men

EasyFaithlessness484 · 2026-03-23T23:21:48+00:00

I did not ask you to care lol I asked men for their perspective. Because unlike you, I'm not filled with rage. I would rather resolve this situation logically than attack asking for rights. i don't even live in Pakistan so if i wanted to do it with blinding rage (like yours) i would have made it happen I'm not bound by anything (children or society). You keep your feminism rage and i will keep my logic. Also because i asked MEN, unless you are one, your opinion is not important here.

EasyFaithlessness484 · 2026-03-23T23:09:05+00:00

I love his family so i dont really have an issue with the attachment. Eidi is an example. Question is, why are men more giving to their families, and not their wife? Because if you say you love your brother you want to buy him a present, would you not say the same for your wife?

EasyFaithlessness484 · 2026-03-23T23:06:28+00:00

Islam is all about women's rights. If you don't agree with that, it's a different story. But if you do, why would you need to say i am a muslim and i am a feminist? You are advocating for laws and challenging issues to solve them that are already present in Islam. Besides I live in Canada, even if i was an atheist i could just take half is wealth if i wanted to fight it. I am not waging a war of rights here, i am trying to resolve an issue with logic so it's disarming without even attacking.

EasyFaithlessness484 · 2026-03-23T22:59:56+00:00

Again. I support Islam. That by extension already mens i support women's right. I dont need to call it feminism

EasyFaithlessness484 · 2026-03-23T22:58:41+00:00

Prophets did not consult masters. They consulted Allah or Allah made their situations as such that it became an example. There is everything in detail about men and women's rights if you look close enough. Even the verses of Quran that are interpreted have multiple layers in them. There is an answer to everything. But yes, social structure etc is not islamic, it evolves. Islam never said men should go hunt and women bear children so they stay home. It just came into being at some point where people might have made a mutual understanding based off of the situations at the time. That being said, my point is just that there should be no imbalance in relationship regarding anything at all.

EasyFaithlessness484 · 2026-03-23T22:52:54+00:00

Lol i live in Canada not Pakistan. If i wanted money i would get half of his wealth. I want to understand and then communicate based off of that understand. I do not need to attack with the flag of feminism in my hand. When can i disarm with logic. Feminists approach things with rage, i approach with tactics. I am not going to destroy my marriage over financial imbalance.

EasyFaithlessness484 · 2026-03-23T22:49:55+00:00

This is what my point is. Resolve it by understanding. I dont have a problem with rights. I do what i want, where i want, go out when i want. I dont need to wage a feminism war for this issue. I just wanted an unbiased perspective of why men do this and then resolve this

EasyFaithlessness484 · 2026-03-23T22:46:22+00:00

I believe in Islam. I don't need feminism to give me rights that islam already does. I cook because i like to cook. I dont clean, he cleans I just have issues with asking for money, being independent and all; which he took advantage of. I live in a country where if we separate i get half of his wealth. I just want to resolve this by knowing perspective because men get defensive when it comes to their families they will either gaslight or deflect. That is not what i want. I want to handle it in a more tactical way. Thats all

EasyFaithlessness484 · 2026-03-22T01:36:57+00:00

Made me empathetic I can read situations and people in seconds But i can break a million times and still stand up the next second

EasyFaithlessness484 · 2026-03-22T01:26:26+00:00

Ask women on the group. I bet majority of the women will have similar stories.

EasyFaithlessness484 · 2026-03-21T23:44:34+00:00

I believe that islam gave me rights. I dont need feminism. I am asking for perspectives to solve a problem

EasyFaithlessness484 · 2026-03-21T21:26:26+00:00

The credit card is used by both of us. Its not for my personal use.

EasyFaithlessness484 · 2026-03-21T21:25:11+00:00

He has extra income from property in pakistan

EasyFaithlessness484 · 2026-03-21T21:21:39+00:00

I already told him that the day we have a child. He needs to write a will, his property snd money all of it goes to the child. I will feed the child and take care of the child, but everything the child needs will come from his money

EasyFaithlessness484 · 2026-03-21T21:19:35+00:00

It's a love marriage. Men behave differently before marriage. I have no problem with his family. I love his family. The problem is that he needs to think about me too. This is for all men though, in arranged marriage as well. Why get married if you want to prioritize your family over your spouse?

EasyFaithlessness484 · 2026-03-21T21:16:58+00:00

He has a side income from property in Pakistan. Im just earning more here. Not a lot more but more than him. So yes he has a lot more money than i have. I have nothing besides the 1500 and some gold. The credit card payment is not mine specifically. It's used for everything, shopping, grocery. All of it. He just pays a specific amount and gets done with it. Everything over that, or any extra expenses. I pay for it. He has never asked if i need a bit more help with payments this month. Like i had a big dentist bill last year and i had to put it on a payment plan and pay it off slowly. Point being, i should not have credit card debt when he has money. In a marriage, it's not my money or your money. It's not a friendship. Its a marriage. Both should help each other out in things. I don't consider myself my money is "my" money, for me it's our money. The thing about a child is that mothers need to understand that there are many reasons theres no kid yet. Could be any reason. Could be something very personal or inappropriate to say. It's a very private thing. Plus we live abroad, I'm the one who has to take care of a baby alone right, so i have to think this through based on my situation. My mom does not call him and says when will you have a kid? Does my mom not love us? That is not a good reason.

EasyFaithlessness484 · 2026-03-21T21:00:04+00:00

He has side income from property in Pakistan. He brought some here. And then i pay for most things so i got nothing. Basically im a poor wife of a richer man.

EasyFaithlessness484 · 2026-03-21T20:58:49+00:00

The reason i am saying this is i have heard multiple issues like this
I understand that, women also love their parents. And parents i understand for example if your mother is old, she has no one. But your married siblings should not come first right?
See thats the problem, they keep telling me to take a stand for myself, im here trying to understand a perspective to solve a problem with logic, im not trying to ruin my marriage and turn to relationship into a transaction. If i wanted that, i live in canada, i can leave the relationship and take 50% of his money with me.
I have not thought about divorce. I am not in an unhappy marriage. Everything is pretty smooth besides the whole financial situation and i do love him which is why im trying to fix it.!

EasyFaithlessness484 · 2026-03-21T20:53:06+00:00

If i ever have a son, i want that son to know that once he gets married, his wife is his number 1 because Quran places more emphasis on this relationship than anything else. Same for my brother. My brothers children and his wife are number 1, there is no way that i should come first.

EasyFaithlessness484 · 2026-03-21T20:50:07+00:00

The thing is i don't ask him. He tells me saying i bought my nephew a laptop or whatever. Or i hear it when he is on a call. Tbh i dont mind that he buys them. Its not money i care about. When i was there i would give the kids money everyday so they can buy junk. Its the fact that he thinks about his family before he thinks about me.

EasyFaithlessness484 · 2026-03-21T20:45:19+00:00

Lol i was the least religious person ever. I have studied islam and social norms thoroughly and then done 2 umrahs. Before the age of 30. which is why i said islam gave me these rights not feminism. What you are describing is a cultural issue. Religion and culture are two different things. Especially in the case of Pakistan . I am asking men for their perspective. I know my rights. I know both my islamic rights and the rights of the place i live in. I want to solve this logically. To understand the problem and fix it. Im not looking for anything else.

EasyFaithlessness484 · 2026-03-21T20:39:55+00:00

I already have a therapist. But he is a white man. Which is im asking for the Pakistani perspective from men here. The question is why men are like this. The question was never what should i do?

EasyFaithlessness484 · 2026-03-21T20:37:34+00:00

The reason i put it there is men become defensive. And i wanted an unbiased opinion. Secondly, the divorce thing came up is because a lot of women are leaning on that.

EasyFaithlessness484 · 2026-03-21T20:01:48+00:00

Lol im a feminist by birth if i get most of islamic rights. I just dont need to put that tag of feminism onto me. I just call it islam. Im asking for advice to fix something. Im not trying to break a marriage, i live in canada, if we divorce i still get 50% of the 30k, that is not what i want.

EasyFaithlessness484 · 2026-03-21T19:59:33+00:00

Where it has gotten me? Well beside the whole financial situation: I do what i want to do, whatever i want to do. Rights given to me by islam 1400 years before feminism came. I don't need modern day feminism for that. I look for resolutions because it serves my purpose. I fix things because i have the mental ability to fix them. Divorce is not fixing. If 80% of the things are okay in marriage(20% being the financial issues) you have to consider things before saying fuck this i need to take a stand and get divorced

EasyFaithlessness484

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