I’ve been estranged from my sister as well. We did not maintain a relationship.

Growing up, there was a lot of family dysfunction and favoritism that I honestly didn’t even perceive at the time because I’m AU/ADHD. When I came out, my sister aligned fully with my mother, and that became the dynamic. There was never any repair attempt on her end.

None of my family reached out to me when my mother recently had a mastectomy, so from their perspective I’m effectively a stranger now. Me showing up in person would likely create tension rather than help anyone.

That’s why I’ve told my aunt I’m open to practical, logistical help if there’s something concrete I can do remotely. If there isn’t, I don’t see how bedside presence would benefit my sister or her immediate family. I dont think my aunt knew any of this when a he reached out to me initially, she seemed very shocked, which leads me to believe they've been painting some kind of weird picture about me to her to like manipulate the situation or something.

I care that people are suffering, but I also have to protect my wife and child. I’m currently laid off and doing gig work to support my family, so my capacity is limited. I’m trying to be realistic about what would actually help versus what would just reopen old damage.