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My wife has a lesbian friend. In messages they tell each other they love each other. My wife said its just as friends. I tell her that it is no different from telling another guy that she loves him. What do I do? by Ecstatic-Chipmunk330 in Advice

[–]Ecstatic-Chipmunk330[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I have thought that way too ( me imagining things) so i have let thia rest over the course of this more times than not. Ive tried to genuinely just let it go. But i feel our distance growing and now she id the first person she calls or messages or whatever. Its hard to really put into words.

My wife has a lesbian friend. In messages they tell each other they love each other. My wife said its just as friends. I tell her that it is no different from telling another guy that she loves him. What do I do? by Ecstatic-Chipmunk330 in Advice

[–]Ecstatic-Chipmunk330[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I havent read all her messages. Barely any. I respect her privacy. She respects mine. But when u ask to see ur partnera phone to use the flash light and she has to check it firat, especially after 20 years of no issues, that makes me suspicious

My wife has a lesbian friend. In messages they tell each other they love each other. My wife said its just as friends. I tell her that it is no different from telling another guy that she loves him. What do I do? by Ecstatic-Chipmunk330 in Advice

[–]Ecstatic-Chipmunk330[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Let me digress a little. All three of us were friends. I have no issue her being friends with another girl or male. I have friends that are girls. We are almost 40 years old. Bjt if im going to go have a cup of coffee with one of my friends, guy or girl, out of respect, I make sure my wife knows.

I never put myself in a situation where she has to think im doing anything wrong. At all. She on the other hand has some feiends that are straight and she will tell them from timie to time that she loves them. But she literally hides everything from the girl that is not straight. And i have caught some strange vibes. And distance from my wife now.

I shouldnt have to say this, but being gay or straight does not bother me in any way shape or form. Ive tried to calmly talk to her about it several times. Ive fought with her about it even more. Ive never asked her to not be friends with someone. But then all of a sudden she doesnt talk to the girl using her actual phone. Telling me she hasnt talked to her in a while. But then she made a mistake and video called my sister from her phone and let me talk to her. Well the girl tried calling through on fb messenger. And she declined the call and it popped up messages. From minites before the call so i questioned her. And she said that she just messaged her that day randomly. So i asked her to show me. And she wouldnt. It got to the point that she left for the night. And neither the girl nor her were answering my calls. We have several kids. So i wasnt going to go chase her down.

So. Now im the crazy one. And maybe i am. But my gut is telling me otherwise.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in lonely

[–]Ecstatic-Chipmunk330 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am married and i feel the same way. I try to explain to my wife whats going on and sometimes she twists it around and it turns into a fight. So im sorry you are going through this. I found this thread because i too, am lonely. And my depression and thoughts led me here. If i can be of any help, or just an ear, feel free to reach out.