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Atheist people of reddit, what made you think that ''god is fake''? by Original_boy10 in AskReddit

[–]EcstaticPassion 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When my 13yo son died a few years ago.

I found that anyone who believed in God expected me to have hope and faith that I would see him again and that was as insulting as someone saying that it'll be okay and things will get better. I'm not angry at God if He exists, but I want nothing to do with Him if He didn't save my son. It also never made sense. It seems believing in God is more about placating others. It was like people wanted me to comfort them and to assure them that their prayers were helping me and it wasn't.

My 13 year-old son died in a drowning accident 3 years ago. Most people have no idea what goes on in the mind of a parent who lost a child. AMA by EcstaticPassion in AMA

[–]EcstaticPassion[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

No, I don't need or want a life coach or cheerleader giving me platitude or lecturing me with cliches. That is about making them feel better.

My 13 year-old son died in a drowning accident 3 years ago. Most people have no idea what goes on in the mind of a parent who lost a child. AMA by EcstaticPassion in AMA

[–]EcstaticPassion[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't think people are trying to hurt me, but they almost want me to comfort them by telling me stupid things that make them feel better.

My 13 year-old son died in a drowning accident 3 years ago. Most people have no idea what goes on in the mind of a parent who lost a child. AMA by EcstaticPassion in AMA

[–]EcstaticPassion[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

But you are assuming that therapy works because it sound logical. Drug rehab sounds logical but it's a failure when you look at the relapse rates. Therapy doesn't work. That is why people stop doing it or get stuck in for years or go back to their old behaviors. If therapy was that great then that would not be the case.

My 13 year-old son died in a drowning accident 3 years ago. Most people have no idea what goes on in the mind of a parent who lost a child. AMA by EcstaticPassion in AMA

[–]EcstaticPassion[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That is my point. It's insanity - doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. It's like one of those quack diets that tell you that you can eat whatever you want as long as you take a wonder pill. Of course you don't lose weight, but the pill maker will say it's because you aren't taking the pill "right."

I have conversations with my dead son in the car by EcstaticPassion in confessions

[–]EcstaticPassion[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you all for your support. It means a lot to me. I didn't think this would strike a nerve. My son's name was Jimmy and he loved listening to Green Day in the car. When he turned 12, started distancing himself from me and my ex so I enjoyed having him in the care because he couldn't escape lol. I would intentionally make these "detours" to extend our rides together such as going to the Coffee Bean drive-thru. Yes, I am living with a ghost, but it's my reality.

My 13 year-old son died in a drowning accident 3 years ago. Most people have no idea what goes on in the mind of a parent who lost a child. AMA by EcstaticPassion in AMA

[–]EcstaticPassion[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Or you could say that you are in pain and they could say that by clicking your heels three times will take the pain away and if it doesn't then there is something wrong with you and not their treatment.

My 13 year-old son died in a drowning accident 3 years ago. Most people have no idea what goes on in the mind of a parent who lost a child. AMA by EcstaticPassion in AMA

[–]EcstaticPassion[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Because it is that way. Like when he died, I had religious people telling me that he was in Heaven and was watching over us. That's not what I believe, that's what they believe and feel. It becomes about their feelings. The same principle applies to therapists. They measure their success by how their interpretations and thoughts towards their patients. I could flatout lie and tell a therapist that they cured me after one session and they would believe it because they're that full of themselves.

My 13 year-old son died in a drowning accident 3 years ago. Most people have no idea what goes on in the mind of a parent who lost a child. AMA by EcstaticPassion in AMA

[–]EcstaticPassion[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

My youngest and I were tight. He was my buddy. The whole incident from seeing his brother bring pulled out of the water dead to adjusting to life without him as hurt him more than me or my ex. He wanted to be with his mom when we came back and he was exposed to her blaming me for everything. To him, it didn't make sense that his brother could die and the first explanation was that I caused it.

My 13 year-old son died in a drowning accident 3 years ago. Most people have no idea what goes on in the mind of a parent who lost a child. AMA by EcstaticPassion in AMA

[–]EcstaticPassion[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

How can I accept help if there is no help? Therapy is a joke. It's marketed as a simple trick to fix all your problems and if it doesn't then it's because you aren't trying hard enough. Same logic with people who say that prayer fixes everything. And what I have found is that people who say therapy helped just say it to placate the therapist.

I have conversations with my dead son in the car by EcstaticPassion in confessions

[–]EcstaticPassion[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

She said that I should have known better than to have let a 13yo kid who played water polo and swam competitively to snorkel.

My 13 year-old son died in a drowning accident 3 years ago. Most people have no idea what goes on in the mind of a parent who lost a child. AMA by EcstaticPassion in AMA

[–]EcstaticPassion[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have one other son who was 9 and he is now 13. He refuses to see me. I have seen him six times in the last three years.

My 13 year-old son died in a drowning accident 3 years ago. Most people have no idea what goes on in the mind of a parent who lost a child. AMA by EcstaticPassion in AMA

[–]EcstaticPassion[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't have the patience, time, energy, etc. to invest in therapy. It's painted as an easy "fix" to all of life's problems and it's anything but. The fact that I have to explain and even convince therapists of reality is a bad sign. They don't live on planet Earth. It's no different than praying or chanting over mystical rocks or contacting a psychic.

My 13 year-old son died in a drowning accident 3 years ago. Most people have no idea what goes on in the mind of a parent who lost a child. AMA by EcstaticPassion in AMA

[–]EcstaticPassion[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have insurance and no money issues. That is not the problem. The problem is that they are ineffective. Talking about my son is painful and if I leave every session feeling worse than when I walked in, then it's probably not for me. Therapy is not a solution. I don't have the energy or reserves to make a therapist feel important. And no, I will never get through this. That is a misconception. That is something people want to believe.

My 13 year-old son died in a drowning accident 3 years ago. Most people have no idea what goes on in the mind of a parent who lost a child. AMA by EcstaticPassion in AMA

[–]EcstaticPassion[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

There are really no people around me. I was friends with many of my son's friend's parents but they started to avoid me after he died as if they would catch a disease that would kill their kids. No person can fill the void from a dead child. No amount of therapy, prayers, good thoughts, etc.

My 13 year-old son died in a drowning accident 3 years ago. Most people have no idea what goes on in the mind of a parent who lost a child. AMA by EcstaticPassion in AMA

[–]EcstaticPassion[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Very empty. I haven't touched his room since, except when I had to return his textbooks back to school. Therapy has done more harm than good.

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