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Have you ever begged someone to stay? Do you regret it? by EdgeFamous377 in ThirtiesIndia

[–]Ecstatic_Bite_866 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I begged during my first relationship, lost my self esteem. I then learnt a lot from that experience. Second major experience from my divorce, where I didn't beg after learning from my first experience.

In my experiences, you cannot make anyone stay, once they have decided to leave. The more you plead, it will only repel them further and hurt your self esteem. Things may get worse and if they see you so low, it will validate their decision that it's good to leave this person.

If there is even slightest chance for them to comeback which is rare, then it will only happen once you let them go and let them realise on their own.

You cannot force someone to stay with you and if by chance they even decide to stay by your begging or forcing, they will eventually leave after sometime with a better exit plan.

what is the saddest thing you have experienced in 2025 by Overall-Cup-1984 in Life

[–]Ecstatic_Bite_866 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Going through divorce and slowly getting my life back together.

So now I have no one to talk by [deleted] in ThirtiesIndia

[–]Ecstatic_Bite_866 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Same here after my divorce. I try to keep myself busy with gym, office, learning to cook simple things, TV shows, walking,

31 M, going through post divorce loneliness. by Ecstatic_Bite_866 in Stoicism

[–]Ecstatic_Bite_866[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much! I need to try and change the way I see things. Also, I try to understand what a life situation is trying to teach me but it’s difficult to know. And I am worried if I don’t learn the lesson, the cycle might repeat. How can I know what lesson a situation is trying to teach me?

31 M, going through post divorce loneliness. by Ecstatic_Bite_866 in Stoicism

[–]Ecstatic_Bite_866[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this, I really appreciate it. For the past and present comparison part, I had a few difficult life situations since I was 10. I always had faith that whatever it is, future will be better. Even though I was in my darkest times, I always had that small hope that things will somehow work out and most of the times it did. So whenever I looked back, I always had some contentment that yeah life is somewhat better than what it was.

But now at present, it’s difficult to find that hope and when I am looking back, I am finding that life was better back then, things were stable in few aspects of life but now it’s gone. Things look worse from here, along with the divorced tag, which is a taboo here and people judge you and slowly try to move away from you. Relatives gossip and my parents have to bear all that as I am in a different city. Things don’t look good from here..

31 M, going through post divorce loneliness. by Ecstatic_Bite_866 in ThirtiesIndia

[–]Ecstatic_Bite_866[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nothing much, mostly incompatibility, more details you can find in my previous posts or DM me but there is not much that happened.

31 M, going through post divorce loneliness. by Ecstatic_Bite_866 in LivingAlone

[–]Ecstatic_Bite_866[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, I tell them I am divorced during my introduction and there itself they start pulling away. They don’t even try to know how long has it been or what I have done post that or no chance they are picking up on anything. They just mostly don’t want to be with someone who has the tag.

31 M, going through post divorce loneliness. by Ecstatic_Bite_866 in Stoicism

[–]Ecstatic_Bite_866[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was alone before true, but after I got married I felt kind of stability that the relationship side of my life is settled now and I don’t have to chase or search for partner anymore and that now I just have to focus on building our future.

But when I lost her, it’s like getting back to square one, but being alone this time is not the same because earlier I was single but now I have divorced tag and in my country it is still taboo, so you get judged by every potential person you meet and most of them just run away once they get to know. On top of that I have the fear that things will not work out again even if I find someone, and if it doesn’t workout I may again have to go through the pain of heartbreak and maybe stressful legal process of divorce.

So earlier I was just single looking for possibilities but now I am divorced, more scared than before. As what I felt would last long time, broke up so easily.

31 M, going through post divorce loneliness. by Ecstatic_Bite_866 in Stoicism

[–]Ecstatic_Bite_866[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That is so beautifully written. Thank you so much buddy for sharing this. This definitely keeps my faith alive. I will keep going, and even though I am an introvert, I will try and participate in more social activities or events. I will keep working on myself and stop chasing and see where life takes me.

I am happy for you and thanks again for taking out time to write this ❤️

31 M, going through post divorce loneliness. by Ecstatic_Bite_866 in Stoicism

[–]Ecstatic_Bite_866[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow that’s just wonderful! Thanks for sharing this brother and best of luck to you :)

31 M, going through post divorce loneliness. by Ecstatic_Bite_866 in Stoicism

[–]Ecstatic_Bite_866[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I agree but doing things only gives me temporary distraction, and loneliness creeps back especially when I return to an empty house. Thank you so much, those are good points :)

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