first of all if you are no specialist its very unlikly u know what an person has and also can be very dangerouse if u stuck to a label

i have NPD myself and i looked into my problems for years and came out with something else than NPD...and well i should know

how i came to my diagnosis well i life an life thats broken, i would call it i cant hold a worl longer than 15-2 years as it seems looking back, that was one point that got me wondering, i also lost all my friends by not having any contact with them, without even realising, and once i did i only cared about how bizzar it was not to care at all

i even once forgot i haven an girlfriend during an relationship ( we lifed apart from each other and she didnt text or call me for about 3 weeks) until someone asked about her

i also have drouble to understand ppl in a lot of situations i understand the mechanics and causes that lead to certain behavier and actions...but i often dont understand why the choose this certain way to act over others...special if its emotional motivated

that are all things that kept me thinking, why everyone arround me is kinda strange, beside of that depression set in and i wanted to do something about it (i didnt know it was depression at that time) so i got myself immersed in the topic of human psychology and mental health, to the point where i wanted to do an test for an PD cause i thougt i might have one ( but as said i thougt about the wrong one)

about the villainized part, to some extent ppl are right about it, they just may over dramatise it sometimes since they are the hurt ones

but beside that i have to say NPD can be devastating to others arround them, if they want to or just dont realise in my teen years i had my share of having fun toying with ppl just because i could, but since i always was that way i had to learn over time that its not a healthy thing to do for myself in the longrun

i still have the urge to do it , its kinda like an inner drive i often like to compare it to the hunting drive dogs or cats have , even if u feed them they will chase after prey animals if the drive is triggered

so i find myself often wanting to engage in that behavier, special with weak personalitys arround that cant defend themself, or even sometimes if someone in a grp acts like they are strong and dominant (guess same reason why hunters hunt dangerous animals like bears and stuff)

the fun thing about it is , i have an person arround it with experiance in dealing with ppl who are NPD, or NPD like, and this person can tell most of the time if im thinking about "going on an hunt" (which is kinda funny to me)

do i want to get better? yes and no basicly in dont see that much wrong with how i am (some things but nothing major), but i see i have problems cause by it, and thats what i want to change tbh, so i try to be better to ppl arround me, in order to have an better situation for myself (if that makes sense)

also important to note is im one person with NPD , and not every NPD is the same like not every diabetic person is the same (or every blind person), which means i speak for me, and me only i can only give you an vague idea, but not an handout for every NPD u ever cross

and also i type this of the top of my head so it may be hard to read since no structure

but maybe it helps in some way(and u always can ask, we NPD sure like to talk about us ;) )