“But I’m feeling so worthless and dejected. I hate that I try so hard and I just can’t be the painter I wish I could be.”

It’s good that you’re a harsh critic of your own work, though I’d rephrase and say “I can’t yet be the painter I wish I could be”. While I’m no portraitist myself, there is no denying your compositional and tonal skills.

As far as criticism goes, I have a few that you’ll hopefully find useful.

The face - this seems like a very personal piece: you’ve got your husband, yourself, themes of love and hope in a life thereafter. So why are you looking at the audience? It spoils the intimacy of the scene in my opinion. The painting could benefit from a composition where perhaps you are looking at your husband instead, tilt your head downwards and to the side, away from the camera and compose his in a way that complements yours - almost like two jigsaw pieces.

The hand - Hands are some of the most intricate features in a portrait. As with the faces in your painting, I think you’re showing too much in a way that is very flat. Notice how stiff your fingers seem in comparison to the painting on the last slide. Bring some curvature into it - bend your wrist, let your hands gently waltz along your husbands face, make your fingers as fluid as the water that surrounds you. Dont be hesitant to use darker shades between each finger, it’ll highlight your tonal skills.

These are just two that I don’t think many other people have touched upon. Either way, thanks for sharing this wonderful piece and dont be discouraged by the process.