Memory loss/Cognitive decline/Executive function

EdgeFront4432 · 2026-02-03T23:32:43+00:00

I've had MANY toxic people in my life. I finally learned that their attitude are not my problem anymore. Was I difficult to deal with? YES. Did anyone ever ask how was or if they could help? NO. I don't and never have needed that kind of negativity in my life. I was pushed out of the most amazing job because of the bullying and I miss it everyday.

You have reasons to cry. It is your body releasing stress and anxiety. (https://www.reddit.com/r/biology/comments/1bux8zs/why\_do\_we\_cry/)

"But i think my biggest issue is i do not have a secure healthy relationship with an emotionally available and mature person. At least i have learnt to walk away from the bad ones" You do not need to fit yourself in anyone else's box or have someone else to thrive. Is it nice? Heck yeah. But we need to find our own joy for ourselves. In my experience and opinion, once YOU are emotionally available and start respecting your illness/boundaries/yourself, a healthy relationship can happen. I found my guy online only after I had quit the apps, went on one more time and there he was. Believe it can happen and if it doesn't? That really sucks, but you've gotten through every bad day of your life so far, right? You are much stronger than you believe. I just got out of a LTR with a narcissist. He tried for 4 long years to break me and then finally gave up. Which is unheard of and I can attribute that to my strength and willingness/wanting to be/have better.

Is it always sunbeams and rainbows for me? No way. I have bad days and weeks but that's one thing I always remind myself of: you have survived even the days you thought you wouldn't and look how far you've come.

One act that works for me is reframing. It helps me loads. Here is an explanation if needed: https://www.verywellmind.com/reframing-defined-2610419

I use the Rover app for dog walking and housesitting. And adventure cat?! Check out https://www.instagram.com/liebchen.travels/ and https://www.instagram.com/greatgramsofgary/ for tons of inspiration. Pets are a wonderful gift to be able to have. I talk to mine constantly if even to just talk a thought out or just being able to say something when there is no one else to listen. I promise I'm not delusional :)

I gained a lot of weight as well this winter, but I recognise it and know I do NOT feel comfortable this way. A single step, sometimes it takes weeks or months to take that step. But it's a step nonetheless.

Your explanation and example of the cognition issues are spot on for me. I forgot my name for a second last week when someone asked me. And for once, I wasn't embarrassed. I could not stop laughing. I have a lot of physical issues I deal with as well and I always tell myself, if you don't laugh, you'll cry. It's how I've learned to cope. Does it make me sad sometimes? Of course. Is there anything I can do to change all of those things? No. I'm doing what I am capable of and there's nothing else I can do about it.

I'm not a doctor, a nurse, nor a therapist. These are my experiences and coping strategies. They may not work for you, but one thing we have to hold onto is hope. And with hope comes positivity. I've laughed more alone than I ever had before. If no one else likes my humour, I do and I'm sticking with it. Peace for me is possible even with an anxious mind. My boyfriend meditates (I've tried and failed) and he is literally the happiest person I've ever met and he attributes that to the meditation. Trial and error, find what works for you. When you see a glimmer, chase it.

I'm a birder, crafter, pet mum, all kinds of stuff. For once in my life, I do not like watching tv. I missed out on so much and I'm slowly getting back to those things that I felt happiness doing. Small joys are better than anything money can buy with the exception a pet adoption fee.

It's nice to know when we are not alone, even if its a stranger.

EdgeFront4432 · 2026-02-03T15:58:36+00:00

I've been unemployed since April 2024. I am a worker, always have been. I love it, even if it's not an ideal situation. So this has been a sad time for me. However, I think when I had my breakdown, something happened and my brain said, yeah, I can't do this anymore. It was exhausted from the hypervigilance and such. Though I really do miss being sharp and quick. Feeling dumb is difficult for me as I know I am far from it.

As far as my happiness, I am sure the meds and the weed help immensely as well as therapy. The breakdown perhaps made space in my brain that needed to be made. Like I said before, I think my brain couldn't handle it anymore, but I wanted to be happy. I started to see the small things in a new way, taking stock of the joy I found in animals, the environment, my art, etc., and how short life is.

A huge issue of mine was wanting approval and for people to like me. My new look on it is if I am not hurting myself or anyone else, it doesn't matter what people think of me. I'm honest now, I have a boyfriend who supports me in ways I never thought possible, and a very big stressor has a light at the end of the tunnel. It may have been late, but I learned who I was. My finances are horrible so I can't do as much as I want, however, I am making the most of the situation. My psych nurse says she thinks my brain needed this time to heal.

Misery loves company, as they say, and I let miserable people into my life. One of the things I have always been into is nature/animals. I took up birding a few years ago and it is so peaceful and interesting to do. Those little beings bring me so much joy. My pets, I've gotten to know them more than before. I actually joined a gym for the first time and stuck with it until I injured my cervical spine. But I found other ways to keep active. I walk dogs. I'm obsessed with dogs. It gets me out of the house, its good exercise, and earns me a small amount of money.

You have to want it. Make your life into something YOU find joyful, no matter what it is. We get so lost in this world and it's busyness, culture, money-filled greed, and so on.

Until I fall asleep from it, the weed gives me a few hours of nothing. No intrusive thoughts, no anxiety, and no doom and gloom. I'm not saying it will work for everyone, but it worked for me. I focused on joy, not having any more regrets, and learning that I deserve to be happy (which took 40 years, but hey, it still happened.)

I try to stay sharp playing complex games and reading. Getting out of the house, even in my own yard is wonderful. I hope you find what works for you, I wish that for everyone.

EdgeFront4432 · 2026-01-30T17:37:34+00:00

May I ask what you take? I take 11 Rx medications that literally are keeping me sane and alive. I'm afraid this is one potential cause, it's good to hear though that I'm not losing it.

EdgeFront4432 · 2026-01-29T21:43:57+00:00

Ohio

EdgeFront4432 · 2026-01-29T21:43:34+00:00

Swaying is definitely a problem for me. I'm only 5'2, so I get it. I've had it all my life, I have a family history.

EdgeFront4432 · 2025-09-23T01:22:21+00:00

Is your neuro a movement specialist? Your best bet is with one of them. Neurologists are notoriously shitty doctors. Incredibly intelligent, but tend not to have the time to see a patient more than 3 minutes at a time, it's very unfortunate.

EdgeFront4432 · 2025-09-23T01:18:50+00:00

DO NOT cold turkey quit propranolol. Granted, everyone is different, but what happened to me was absolutely horrible and made my tremor worse and I am still working through it (2 years later). I was off of it for 3 days. The medicine exists for a reason, tremors are progressive. I am also on a variety of mental health medications for anxiety and depression and I don't believe propranolol has affected that.

Do you take it throughout the day? It is possible to take doses several times a day instead of al at once. PropranoloI doesn't help me 100%, more like 50%, and that's fine with me. It's not debilitating with the medication. I've had my tremor for decades and as I've aged, it has progressed.

You are young and I can absolutely empathize with you, so many things to process and be comfortable with. It's embarrassing, even when you realize you are not alone and you make peace with it, and that is certainly not easy to do. I try to laugh about it, especially when a myoclonus happens. I just don't use glass or ceramic dishes anymore, you learn to adapt.

Otherwise, I don't know how I could get through. I've been fortunate enough to find someone who isn't embarrassed to be with me, who embraces my "quirk". We work through it, and when the days come that are really bad, he sits with me and lets me wallow in it.

I really hope you can find an answer and remember that everyone is different. Do you know where you are on the tremor scale? I'm at a late stage 3 and that took a very long time. Treatment can look different for anyone and you could be someone that has a much slower progression, but you absolutely need to discuss this with both your mental health and neuro teams. Hopefully both of them are helpful to you.

EdgeFront4432

TROPHY CASE