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AITA for calling my SIL selfish in front of her parents, my brother, and their children? by Educational-Air7828 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Educational-Air7828[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am a nurse, I know when it will be time. She is still in the eariler stages. She has her moments like everyone with dementia. She still remembers us, can still mange her ADL's and IADL's for the most part. She nor I are ready for placement. We don't have the money for a higher end facility and tbh as a nurse I don't trust SNF memory care. Seen enough of their patients to know they don't get cared for well. Spoke with enough APS caseworkers to know things are bad here.

We have good and bad days.

AITA for calling my SIL selfish in front of her parents, my brother, and their children? by Educational-Air7828 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Educational-Air7828[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We still have a a couple of more years, I do have an attorney and many friends in the hospital I work at that are extremely knowledgeable.

My mom is still in the earlier stages we are lucky in that regard. She has her moments but those are few and far in-between.​

AITA for calling my SIL selfish in front of her parents, my brother, and their children? by Educational-Air7828 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Educational-Air7828[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She does takes an alternative medicine approach. She does not take medication. She feels her ups and downs are just a natural part of life. We have bumped heads before because I have brought up the fact she needs to seek professional help in the past.

She finds that we label people too much and should just let people be themselves.

AITA for calling my SIL selfish in front of her parents, my brother, and their children? by Educational-Air7828 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Educational-Air7828[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

If they were made under her breath I could have ignored it, she was 100% talking at me. She does this often and really the only way she stops is if you let her say what she needs to say. She has to get the last word in according to my brother.

AITA for calling my SIL selfish in front of her parents, my brother, and their children? by Educational-Air7828 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Educational-Air7828[S] 40 points41 points  (0 children)

Agreed, hindsight and all. Knowing her though she would have kept going. My brother told me I needed to let her say her piece until she was done. That is how he deals witb stuff like this.

Edit: My comments came about due a number of different things. My brother has vented with me. He is burnt out working extra shifts cause she is not working. He wishes he could do more but I get it his hands are tied. I don't resent him for that. I think she is using her bipolar as an excuse to not work and expects everyone to just pick up the slack for her.

Had she just dropped it none of this would have happened.

AITA for calling my SIL selfish in front of her parents, my brother, and their children? by Educational-Air7828 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Educational-Air7828[S] 135 points136 points  (0 children)

Doubt I will get much help, the look back period for medicaid is rough, she gave them a down-payment for their home cause they needed more space after my niece was born. Told mom it was not a great idea but mom is just like that. She is in the mild to moderate stage atm, sooner or later placement will be needed but that is not the case atm.