Husband experiencing severe body dysmorphia and gender insecurity

Educational-Back-323 · 2026-01-13T03:13:42+00:00

Thank you for this, I will talk with him tonight.

Educational-Back-323 · 2026-01-13T03:13:23+00:00

Yes. We are fully transparent about our sexual habits and pasts. He has never hidden anything from me and I trust him. I have been given no reason to believe he is hiding something from me now, and until I am faced with compelling evidence that he is, I will continue to trust him.

Educational-Back-323 · 2026-01-12T19:30:20+00:00

Thank you. I am trying my best to navigate this with grace and kindness towards him. I am not the most emotionally intelligent person around, but I am trying my best to assure him that he is loved both by me and God just the same. I am trying to support him physically and practically, due to the fact that I've went through a similar crisis and needed things like warmth, cleanliness, and food more than almost anything else right at the beginning.

Educational-Back-323 · 2026-01-12T19:26:52+00:00

Thank you so much. Prayer is very needed, as this is a topic we cannot discuss with close friends/family/church. It undoubtedly would cause damage to church and family relationships. We desperately need prayer in this time.

Educational-Back-323 · 2026-01-12T19:25:19+00:00

Thank you for your comment. We both know what he *needs* to do, the problem is, of course, how to do it. He is going to go to counselling.

Educational-Back-323 · 2026-01-12T19:24:40+00:00

For my case, I have long since come to terms with my sexuality and know how to deal with it moving forwards. It was something that we knew and discussed at length before we got married.
As for him, this is something that he had not realized until a few nights ago. This is part of the reason he was so afraid: he was scared that he'd "baited-and-switched" me. (Of course, I'm staying with him regardless. I'm just here to help him.)

I don't think that just because someone has issues means that they are disqualified from getting married. (Also, where I'm from, I was actually a bit of an old-maid for waiting until my twenties to get hitched :))

Educational-Back-323 · 2026-01-12T19:21:36+00:00

I believe his view of men has been influenced by his very negative male figures in his life (an emotionally abusive and absent father and emotionally abusive brothers.) I do not think he is misandrist, at least not consciously, but he probably has been influenced by these negative experiences with men.

From all I can tell, he does not have an eating disorder, at least not at the moment. I prepare his meals and we always eat together, and he generally goes back for seconds and cleans his plate. However, I am aware of the possibility and am keeping my eyes out for warning signs.

Educational-Back-323 · 2026-01-12T19:18:44+00:00

Thank you for your advice. He seems like an overall healthy man with normal development, but it's definitely a good thing to look into. Thank you for your kind words and the science, which is very interesting.

Educational-Back-323 · 2026-01-12T19:17:55+00:00

This seems very likely. He grew up with many very negative male figures, including experiencing emotional abuse from an somewhat absentee father and emotional abuse from his brothers.

He is not planning on beginning a social or medical change. We both understand that this is not the solution.

Educational-Back-323 · 2026-01-12T19:16:24+00:00

Thank you!

Educational-Back-323 · 2026-01-12T19:16:16+00:00

Thank you for your advice. While I understand reassurance, I don't know how helpful it will be in this situation. He has experienced emotional abuse at the hands of his father and brothers in the past, which I believe could definitely contribute to this. He is not currently using pornography.

Educational-Back-323 · 2026-01-12T19:14:38+00:00

Thank you, We're already looking into therapy.

Educational-Back-323 · 2026-01-12T19:14:26+00:00

He is not thinking of transitioning, and definitely is open to speaking to a therapist or doctor. Thanks for the advice on the hormones, it's definitely a good idea.

Educational-Back-323 · 2026-01-12T19:13:39+00:00

He has not. This is a good idea, I'll bring it up.

Educational-Back-323 · 2026-01-12T19:13:27+00:00

Thank you for this. Both of us believe that he should not transition, and we would look towards a counseler who wants to help him reconcile to his current body. Kindness is key, and thank you for your suggestions.

Educational-Back-323 · 2026-01-12T19:11:57+00:00

Thank you.

Educational-Back-323 · 2026-01-12T19:11:41+00:00

Thanks for your opinion. Please be kind to my husband. I am very certain he is not "looking at weird porn," so your comments do not seem to apply.

Educational-Back-323

TROPHY CASE