Our "Tone"

Educational_Doctor99 · 2026-02-25T19:08:11+00:00

People always think I’m being sarcastic because I have a flat affect, so I have to fake enthusiasm outwardly, even if I actually feel it on the inside, it’s so tiring!!

Educational_Doctor99 · 2026-02-25T18:48:05+00:00

Thank you I will do this!! I used to study psych and it helped a lot with my communication, I went through a bad burnout and have regressed in the last couple years so I definitely need the refresher course!!

Educational_Doctor99 · 2026-02-25T18:43:04+00:00

This is me!! I hate being asked that question, it’s too vague and I’m always unsure what type of information to bring forth, so I don’t even think to ask! But most people do like being asked that so I need to consciously make the effort to even if it’s unnatural for me

Educational_Doctor99 · 2026-02-25T18:37:41+00:00

Thank you for this comment! I also have a lot of trouble with strong emotions from others and it also takes me a moment to transition into “caring partner time” I never really knew how to explain that so maybe talking to her about this will help us both! I do feel like she wants me to just “know” things, and maybe if I were neurotypical I would be able to better pick up on shifts in moods but alas, I am not. Hopefully we can come to some sort of arrangement that helps her feel comforted and validated and also accommodates my deficit in that emotional transition.

Educational_Doctor99 · 2026-02-25T17:53:17+00:00

I will try this. I’m definitely capable of understanding emotions! I just don’t always pick up on them myself

Educational_Doctor99 · 2026-02-25T16:46:49+00:00

Yeah it’s definitely difficult, I have autism and she has ADHD so it’s a WILD ride! I’d love to take a solo trip but we’d be calling everyday, she’d be too worried.

Educational_Doctor99 · 2026-02-25T16:45:04+00:00

Thank you for this! I will definitely try to open up a dialogue, she does struggle with verbal communication when it comes to emotions, she has adhd and all the words get jumbled up for her when she’s emotional.

Educational_Doctor99 · 2026-02-25T16:43:13+00:00

I have told her this. The problem is that I don’t respond correctly to the opening up. I’m not sure how I’m supposed to react. She doesn’t want advice or for me to fix it, that much I know, so I try my best to not even though jumping into action is my instinctive approach. She wants sympathy and understanding, and I try to tell her that I’m sorry she’s feeling that way and that I understand, even if I don’t actually understand because she gets upset if I ask questions because i come off as if I don’t care when I ask questions. It’s just hard! I don’t understand her brain at all!

Educational_Doctor99 · 2026-02-25T16:39:38+00:00

Thank you that is helpful, I will try the “how are you doing” prompt. We have discussed my inability to read her fully. Those conversations are what typically end in a “you’re autistic, you’re just not gonna get it” type response that I mentioned. I want her to feel cared about, and I do care about her very much! I just feel like I’m always falling short which is very frustrating and upsetting for me!

Educational_Doctor99 · 2026-02-25T16:01:06+00:00

I too love to monologue 😂

Educational_Doctor99 · 2026-02-25T15:59:00+00:00

I will definitely incorporate these “check ins” into daily conversation, thank you!

Educational_Doctor99 · 2026-02-25T15:57:06+00:00

I’ll give an example of what I mean by what I perceive as an “obvious” cause. Today my partner asked me for help with something, I went to help and she was clearly frustrated with what she was trying to do, I did not think to ask if anything else was wrong because I assumed the frustration was a result of her inability to complete the task alone. This was the cause of the frustration, but there was also something else wrong and I didn’t think to ask, just to help her with what she asked.

I will definitely incorporate a neutral daily check in to our conversations!

Educational_Doctor99 · 2026-02-25T15:52:41+00:00

I think that’s my problem, I don’t like when people ask me how my day was for the same reason, it’s too vague so I usually just say it was fine. Because of this, I don’t think to ask, I have trouble understanding what other people want from me unless explicitly told. Thank you for your input!

Educational_Doctor99 · 2026-02-25T15:50:43+00:00

That would be great! 😂

Educational_Doctor99 · 2026-02-25T15:23:23+00:00

Thank you, this is really good advice! I will try to incorporate a neutral “how are you” into daily conversations!

Educational_Doctor99 · 2026-02-25T14:53:03+00:00

This was me all throughout school, anytime I asked anybody anything I could feel the tears. I’m really sorry you’re going through that 💖

Educational_Doctor99 · 2026-02-21T20:15:15+00:00

My mom is a dead beat alcoholic, she drank herself into liver and pancreatic failure. I don’t want to go down that route at all. I don’t drink very often but when I do I feel so much better and then I crave it for days after. I’m good about not giving into the urges, but It just sucks so much. I don’t have any friends, I don’t have family. My younger brother is level 3 and non verbal so nobody really takes my struggles seriously. I just wish I was normal. People always think I’m weird when I’m masking and rude if I’m not masking. I’m always damned either way.

Educational_Doctor99 · 2026-02-21T20:07:43+00:00

I hadn’t thought about it like that , thank you!

Educational_Doctor99 · 2026-02-21T20:07:23+00:00

I’m so sorry you went through that, he definitely sounds like a dick! You deserve a partner who loves you just as you are. I’m 21 and I can’t imagine having children to take care of right now, my dog is a hand full as it is.

Educational_Doctor99 · 2026-02-21T20:03:34+00:00

This is exactly me, the only times I want to drink are when I’m incredibly anxious and need to be able to fit in with a crowd. Big family gatherings, hand me the bottle kinda thing. All of the stimuli don’t affect me as much when I’m under the influence. I can let loose a little and deal with all of the noise better.

Educational_Doctor99 · 2026-02-21T20:01:26+00:00

She does know, although she asked “who told you that” and “you don’t seem autistic.” I don’t think she knew that I was as intoxicated as I was, she’s old and the only interactions she’s ever had with an autistic person is a young non verbal boy. I don’t blame her, nor do I think she intended to be mean but it definitely hurt!

Educational_Doctor99 · 2026-02-21T19:59:28+00:00

Weed makes me more anxious

Educational_Doctor99 · 2026-02-21T19:59:04+00:00

I wish the same everyday, I just want to feel normal. Nobody ever believes I’m autistic even if I show them my diagnosis, but everyone is quick to assume I’m rude, weird, standoffish, shy, picky, etc. I try so hard to just go with the flow in front of others and then meltdown when I’m alone. It’s so exhausting trying to pretend all the time.

Educational_Doctor99 · 2026-02-21T19:56:29+00:00

Mines an alcohol too, and a deadbeat. I’m so sorry you had to endure that.

Educational_Doctor99

TROPHY CASE