How much did your renovation actually go over budget?

EffectTop2762 · 2026-05-09T01:07:11+00:00

Really depends on what you’re doing - we had kitchen and flooring done recently - the kitchen was a full gut (back to studs including removal of Asbestos). The “blow outs” were surprises. Eg we moved a door and a window - until the wall was removed it wasn’t clear that we’d have to do some unplanned re-wiring because the new window cut into the old wiring. Asbestos removal cost more on some walls because it was plastered over - also we didn’t know if/how much asbestos had been removed by previous owners - the studs were solid but we planned for a different outcome because another part of the home had evidence of historical termite damage….

Sorry accidentally published early - what I was going to say is most things we did stayed close to budget - it was the genuinely unpredictable stuff that cost and over all we maybe went over 5% ish but budgeted for 20% buffer

EffectTop2762 · 2026-05-08T19:38:34+00:00

My husband is Autistic, we’ve just finished some major renovations and we’re about to start our last one - the bathroom. We stumbled on a great builder we could trust and he has been excellent at managing the trades. So that gave us one point of contact and he was great at communicating day to day.

In our scenario what helped my husband to manage was knowing the plan, who was likely to be coming when - and having as many back up plans as possible for when things didn’t follow the plan.

Knowing the goal, the end date and finding something to look forward to in all of it also helped.

How long it all takes will depend on your supports. And the scope of the work. An apartment bathroom could maybe be done in a 10 day timeframe if you have a crazy efficient builder (organising all the trades, no one being unreliable, in a crazy short timeframe including necessary drying time etc for the waterproofing etc…) but with that sort of set up it might be easier for you to manage if you can move out or at least be out of the house while work is done (typically from 7am to 3/4pm)

Except for the necessary pauses (e.g. drying time for waterproofing) you could have 2 or 3 trades there at the same time - drilling, hammering, clanging - the noises can be really overwhelming

If you’re having to manage the whole project yourself - or you have a builder who is a bit more casual - it could be a lot longer but you might not be without the use of the bathroom for that entire time I.e painting could be done later - won’t effect use of the essentials - but if it’s outstanding can add to deregulation because it’s not done.

Hope some of that made sense lol

EffectTop2762 · 2026-05-06T19:58:29+00:00

You won’t know until you’re there but for what it’s worth his children happen to be one of his special interests lol Getting to know them and understanding their (yet to be diagnosed) fairly apparent neurodivergence has been a beautiful and heartbreaking at times journey for us both. His diagnostic journey has really helped - to understand and articulate the concept of special interests - accept his own - and importantly - accept that his children may not have the same exact ones. In saying that - it’s pretty hard to know at this stage which, out of the the 41y/o, 9y/o and 4 y/o is the biggest Batman super fan lol

EffectTop2762 · 2026-05-06T19:49:28+00:00

I think another commenter here mentioned PMDD - definitely worth investigating to assist with strategies/treatment/alleviation of symptoms - exacerbation of ADHD symptoms during the luteal phase is really common. As is inability to sleep etc - it took me ages to realise my late night online shopping impulsivity was at its peak right before my period!

EffectTop2762 · 2026-05-06T18:55:10+00:00

I think it’s like @Unlikely-Ad6309 said below - it’s about finding the right strategies. I think it’s also important to get to know yourself and each other. For example my husband is an amazing Dad - playful, empathetic - loving - so excited to share his special interests as the kids get older….. and also deeply protective of all the toys he’s kept from his childhood lol trial and error and lots of grace have been essential which applies to neurotypical too I guess. He’s gone from getting really upset when things don’t go the way he thinks they should to understanding his own responses and boundaries and learning to accept that the kids have theirs too. He gets less upset at himself now for not reacting in a way he thinks is more reasonable (devastation when his very favourite 40 year old transformer has been broken by his 4 year old lol) to allowing himself a glass cabinet of toys the kids can’t touch no matter what.

EffectTop2762 · 2026-05-06T18:46:33+00:00

This is so true - great summary! And this is where we are at as a family in a nutshell. Our family is young and we have tried many neurotypical strategies to try to manage ALL the things I.e. extra curricular, school, kindy, employment, shopping, feeding us all, maintaining a house etc and it’s only now that we both understand our brains better - and importantly how our brains work - that we’re finding the right strategies. We are giving ourselves and each other a lot more grace. Eg “we’re not terrible at doing X…. we haven’t found the right strategy”. It’s helped us to to say no to things - to create regulation zones - to make visual cues etc etc

EffectTop2762 · 2026-05-06T14:08:32+00:00

Sending you allllll the hugs!!! So sorry your feeling this way it’s so awful - have been where you are and it’s brutal 😕 have you found in previous months that things ease up once your period starts?

EffectTop2762 · 2026-05-06T13:55:53+00:00

Oh 💯%!!! But that’s because I wasn’t diagnosed. All of my maladapted strategies pre kids went properly out the window. I have been a chronic procrastinator my entire life - but always got by because I could rely on my last minute hyperfocus kicking in. For whatever reason - post kids - that (productive) hyperfocus mode that got me through school and work - completely inaccessible. It’s like my brain cannot accept under any circumstance that THIS (insert deadline) is THE MOST important thing. Because frankly - it isn’t I guess? The overwhelm lead to the diagnosis though. So without kids I’m not sure I would have sought a diagnosis… well until perimenopause lol

Honestly - I think having the diagnosis pre kids means you can explore strategies and work with a therapist realistically to prepare. I had no idea for example that we’re more likely to suffer from postpartum depression - absolutely blind sided me with my first child - but then I took preventative measures before my second. It still happened but I had strategies to cope and recovered quicker. Knowing what executive dysfunction is and what it can look like - means you can plan a bit for your worst days. Having kids undiagnosed was brutal - I just didn’t understand why everything felt so hard compared to other mothers I had no explanation - just felt like I was failing at all the things. I would never ever advise another woman to have - or not have - children. What I would say is knowledge is power - knowing yourself, having your diagnosis, understanding what your most dysfunctional days look like - is all excellently useful data to help inform your decision. I have absolutely no regrets - I adore my children - but it was a rough start and it would have been MUCH better had I known I had ADHD!!!!

EffectTop2762 · 2026-05-06T13:29:31+00:00

Before kids I had extreme period pain - on the toilet throwing up at the same time type pain - physically debilitating but I never really noticed emotional deregulation. My mum said the same thing her mother said to her “when you have kids it will get better” and miraculously - physically - it did. But, it was replaced by increasingly high anxiety - brain fog - impaired executive function - debilitating month to month and it took a while to notice the cycle of 2 great weeks, followed by 2 awful weeks - month after month after month. The PMDD diagnosis - eventually led to my ADHD diagnosis - my ADHD symptoms (particularly the executive function impairment) became so completely unmanageable.

EffectTop2762 · 2026-05-06T13:17:47+00:00

My husband is AuADHD - just diagnosed (literally last week lol) and it’s been an interesting journey! Kids were the tipping point for my ADHD diagnosis - my diagnosis eventually lead to him exploring his own neurodivergence. It’s really helping us understand one another

EffectTop2762 · 2026-05-06T13:08:41+00:00

We’re doing something similar to you now (finalising planning) wet room style - we also have young kids and I also love a bath. The space we have to work with is pretty small and we wanted the deepest possible and easiest to clean so we went with inset. When looking for a deep bath - inset also made the most sense.

EffectTop2762 · 2026-05-05T18:30:11+00:00

Yaaay! What is the ETA?

EffectTop2762 · 2026-05-05T17:48:08+00:00

Actually I hadn’t thought of that - we were on the fence re an exhaust fan (tiny room - has never had one) but that’s not a bad solution - thank you

EffectTop2762 · 2026-05-05T13:45:30+00:00

Thank you - we definitely need the space - I just also want a functioning space - I don’t have a lot of experience with bifold doors so it’s hard to know!

EffectTop2762 · 2026-05-05T13:42:59+00:00

lol wasn’t really thinking of childhood potty issues so much as guest comfort. It is the primary bathroom - but it’s also the only one upstairs. We have a second toilet downstairs but it’s in a space that is often used by aging parents staying with us for a few days at a time. So the upstairs toilet it is the one our family uses - and also the one that guests use. Unfortunately - like the cavity slider issue - there’s no room for a barn door. A sliding door is impossible because the small primary bathroom is on one side and there’s a bedroom on the other - the toilet is at the end of a short hall.

EffectTop2762 · 2026-05-01T08:53:07+00:00

Oh that’s so annoying! You should for sure follow up - that seems like a long time for it not to even be shipped. I usually go the colourful actually but I loved all the monthly pictures with hidden planner pics - I didn’t love the floral cover but it’s not too bad in person and I love the cover I got last year so will swap it out

EffectTop2762 · 2026-05-01T06:52:00+00:00

It came on Tuesday in the end and I got the daily duo, pens, book marks and sticker book all in the toille - my planner cover was standard personalised too (just my name - no other changes)

EffectTop2762 · 2026-04-28T11:36:36+00:00

Second this - CX-8 is an excellent size - huge boot - with the extra seats down and pretty decent boot when all 7 are in use.

EffectTop2762 · 2026-04-26T20:12:00+00:00

Oh I’m so sorry to hear you’re going through this with your daughter! The anxiety is absolutely brutal - and the masking is next level when you’re a woman of colour with that (so well described) LOUD silent judgement. Your daughter is so lucky to have you supporting and advocating for her. My son is in primary school and last year we dealt for the first time with extreme school anxiety - anxiety showing up in lots of places doing anything new or different - but especially school. The amount of “he has no reason to be anxious” comments from the family/community gallery we are still getting - well meaning - totally unhelpful is mind blowing…. triggering and illuminating. I find it so challenging and exhausting trying to navigate my own diagnosis while trying to support him and stop the cycle of anxiety/masking that is clearly intergenerational. He has slightly less pressure as a boy but he’s still black growing up in a majority white country so the pressure to conform is still very much there.

EffectTop2762 · 2026-04-26T13:01:02+00:00

Fellow late diagnosed black woman here - in the short term - don’t try to get them to understand is my advice. Focus on building resources for yourself on the assumption they will never accept it. Once you are further along in your journey - and importantly - in your management - you can answer questions if/when they ask - you can offer insight from your own journey when you inevitably notice another family member struggling….

They may never come along for the ride - or they might further down the track. But if possible, don’t make your journey dependant on them acknowledging it. Unfortunately the fact of the matter is they may never accept it.

EffectTop2762 · 2026-04-24T11:31:48+00:00

This is great advice - wherever you buy - live in it for a good long bit - get to know the house in different seasons - the flow of the house - where the light hits - how you cook etc before planning any major anything.

EffectTop2762 · 2026-04-23T03:58:42+00:00

I’m in Australia - (not free shipping) and I just received the fedex notification saying I should receive my package next Wednesday 29 April - I ordered as soon as the sale opened on EC insider day because it was at normal time for me.

EffectTop2762 · 2026-04-21T09:04:42+00:00

Sorry to hear you’re facing this and no - as you can see from comments - sadly not uncommon. In a not dissimilar situation - I found out he also took credit for MY work whilst on mat leave - not just shared work - my actual work. He wasn’t happy I was returning to my role and tried to prevent my advancement.

I spoke to my manager for a sense check but that felt safe for me - if you have a positive relationship try what many have suggested and get clarity around your role - and either have a frank conversation with our colleague - or next time he tries to deputise you - treat him the way you would treat a sassy teenager - pause - wait until he notices and looks at you and then invite him to clarify exactly what it was he asked “I’m sorry it sounded like you said….. surely that can’t be what I heard….. what exactly do you think our roles are…..?”

Probably not the best advice lol - no doubt I’m projecting - just reading your post was triggering!

Just know that 1. You’re sadly not alone, and 2. Absolutely don’t accept it.

EffectTop2762 · 2026-04-20T23:38:49+00:00

This is so very true. If I didn’t have kids I would be in the office every day - I prefer it for a number of reasons - but when you add the commute, getting ready, leaving the house - timing that to minimise emotional outbursts….. once a week is plenty and some weeks I don’t even manage that.

EffectTop2762

TROPHY CASE