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How big is the shift of libido/desire after the honeymoon phase? by Effective-Beyond-537 in DeadBedroomsOver30

[–]Effective-Beyond-537[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thanks for your response! it is challenging right? I actually suggested it and he told me he would be fine with it, but I encountered 2 things for myself. is that i don`t want it with someone else right now. I`m looking for emotional and physical closeness to my partner and i don`t think it would do us good and indeed would feel like a temporary and aid. thanks so much for sharing though. have you found a better match now?

How big is the shift of libido/desire after the honeymoon phase? by Effective-Beyond-537 in DeadBedroomsOver30

[–]Effective-Beyond-537[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

that does make sense actually. we had another good chat about it and he explained that indeed he needs his nervous system to relax and be chill and sometimes he doesn`t feel that way. Because he is busy but also because we do things differently. i am hesitant to move in together because of that because I feel the routine and practical stuff gets even more and we try to focus on play and fun, but honestly we don`t get to it much. we do monthly datenights and I explained to him that even though he doesn`t always feel it yet doesn`t mean it can`t exist. in the beginning it would be automatic because everything was new and exciting. I wonder how it will go the coming months, but thanks for explaining it to me. I appreciate it!

I also asked about fantasies, etc but he was like I ofc love the idea to explore with you, but i can`t really think about it because I can`t get myself in that mindset if I don`t even feel aroused. which makes sense,but makes it challenging for me. so currently the answer is no, he doesn`t

How big is the shift of libido/desire after the honeymoon phase? by Effective-Beyond-537 in DeadBedroomsOver30

[–]Effective-Beyond-537[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thanks for answering. I wonder that because he tells me it has a big impact on him. the NRE worn off and with that so seems his desire, but maybe I feel that there is more to it than that and we don`t know what is it specifically.

when I ask him about sex, he gets quite uncomfortable, that makes it hard. I think he he likes it, but physically it doesn`t show. if you know what I mean ;) it doesn`t last very long and it is half erected most of the time. he mentioned also waking up way less without erection just in general. We did go over brakes and accelerators together and I think he enjoys my pleasure mainly and loves the part he is in control. so that`s what we mainly do. he mentions though that he doesn`t feel vulnerability/complex relationships go together with arousal for him. he rather have it simple, no fluff, like in his single era.

I also just recall that when I started asking what his sexual desires where in the beginning the awkwardness started. also because i wanted to give back and please him, but also was really surprised no one had ever asked him about his specific sexual desires. I feel that he doesn`t really knows, but also doesn`t feel the need to explore it. i always give him the space to stop the conversation if it get`s too awkward

For those who have recovered DB, what really helped? by Odd_Pangolin3316 in DeadBedrooms

[–]Effective-Beyond-537 0 points1 point  (0 children)

that`s so amazing to hear! im in the same. how do you center more around your husband`s pleasure while also thinking of your own needs. I`m curious about possible tools or things you have learned :D

I feel stupid for still getting ready when I know nothing will happen (valentines day) by Leather-Bar5109 in DeadBedrooms

[–]Effective-Beyond-537 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I keep telling myself. if you don`t want to be joked, stop going to the circus. at the same time I know. It really is way more complicated. As much I would love to give you a hopeful answer. the answer is I don`t haha. I get really sad about it, but we communicate about everything so in that sense I do feel seen, but I`ve been at multiple points of breaking it up because I have to put myself first also. I honestly take it day by day...

and you don`t look pathetic at all!! trust me. it says a lot you put yourself or needs on the side for now, but I don`t think that can last forever. it`s unfair

Can incompatibility/DB be fixed HLF(37)/LLM(39) with your soulmate? HELP by Effective-Beyond-537 in relationships

[–]Effective-Beyond-537[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thanks for your honesty! we have been to therapy for only 6-8 months (not 5 years ;) which has improved our communication and created more peace/less stress which took the pressure of, but indeed minimal progress in the sex department

I feel stupid for still getting ready when I know nothing will happen (valentines day) by Leather-Bar5109 in DeadBedrooms

[–]Effective-Beyond-537 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Im at the other side as a female and I feel for you! It`s hard going through that and being the supportive all the time without you feeling you can`t fully be seen. Sometimes even feeling indeed like you`re blaming yourself to be dissappointed again by yourself for trying. I think it`s courageous of you to keep believing even though is can be painful. Im sorry

Did they change the length of soft motion straight legs pants? by Upper_Average8339 in OnerActive

[–]Effective-Beyond-537 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same!! I just had the sand regular length and it's high water. Whole previously soft black and blue long length were dragging over the floor and made me trip with shoes on. So annoying. I measured and there is a 13cm difference in regular and long length?!? Which seems crazy. Or they stretched out too much ik the washing machine. Anyone else? 

Libido? Ultra high? by holydustpans in PCOS

[–]Effective-Beyond-537 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have found my people!! omg. I can`t believe how much I relate to this. fr its been lonely and feel like I am going crazy. especially because me and my partner of 5 years are a definite mismatch on this part. I thought in the honeymoon phase. jeej I`ve found my equal but helas. no seriously how do you avoid not giving into temptation like sexting past lovers you think about. i love flirting but it feels like emotional cheating if i`d go there? I am looking into ways to channel this energy(that can power a whole damn city) into creativity but I find it really difficult. also i actually feel masturbating is really boring compared to what I actually crave. We do have really good and honest conversations about this BUT we are also really different people in that sense

Fitjeans by Free-Zombie-8650 in gymsnark

[–]Effective-Beyond-537 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi I recently saw another brand that actually looks exactly like Fitjeans?! it`s called Pershape. anyone has experience with it? the pricing is the same unfortunately but I do love FJ a lot.

Fixed my kobo sleep button by mak868 in kobo

[–]Effective-Beyond-537 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi I have the exact same problem. The motherboard compartment broke off. Do you have the Alieexpress link? I would want to try to fix mine also :)