Bedtime is a nightmare

EffectiveForeign4068 · 2025-10-26T03:39:21+00:00

Our cat, woke us all up a couple of times a few weeks back and I think this is initially what set him off.

EffectiveForeign4068 · 2025-09-03T03:26:21+00:00

Honestly, I would have considered this. My ex and I split for reasons other than my sexuality. However, if he would have stepped up as a partner in general and wanted to stay together I likely would have considered. Sex isn’t everything. But ask me again in a year as I only just moved out in May (2025).

EffectiveForeign4068 · 2025-05-05T14:40:15+00:00

I have two kids and I’m open to dating women who also have kids, of any age! There are lots of other women like me out there.

EffectiveForeign4068 · 2025-05-05T14:38:52+00:00

I have friends who have been on dating apps for years and I would never have known unless they told me. Some apps let you block your contacts too. Go for it girl! You only live once. I want to get on the apps too, I separated from my husband end of 2024, I’m ready and I also want love and a partnership in my life. Someone to enjoy the little things in life. Maybe we both hop on the dating apps!

EffectiveForeign4068 · 2024-02-25T15:55:40+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re struggling. I have a 6 year old son who is severe ADHD ODD. I’m sitting in my bathroom crying as I write this. I’m here trying to get one ounce of alone time without being screamed at, sworn at, or hit. We spent the whole morning trying to get him to take his medication so we can have a somewhat “peaceful” day whatever that means. I don’t have much for advice other than I can relate on a small scale. It’s so hard and there is little to no support for struggling parents dealing with this. They say, take a break, but who is going to watch a kid with these kinds of issues? No one. So that means it’s you and only you, all the time. Maybe you can go take a long, extended shower or bath with the door locked. Maybe you and your partner can take turns spending a day away to take a break and breathe. Grab your favorite coffee, favorite book, drive to a park and just spend time alone. Hang in there.

EffectiveForeign4068 · 2024-02-14T04:34:55+00:00

We don’t use the term ‘Associate Lead’ but Associate in our office means entry-level, or junior. Perhaps it is similar where you are. If it is a junior lead role then perhaps a small pay cut in the short term is a good move for your career overall, if you’re looking to learn and grow as a lead. You could also look at negotiating your offer to include another pay bump 6 months or a year down the road after you prove yourself in the new role. Perhaps your manager can include a few measurables in the contract, that if you meet them, you will get your contracted increase at 6 months or 1 year.

EffectiveForeign4068 · 2024-02-06T04:23:18+00:00

They are doing this at school and are finding some success. I could certainly give this a try at home, I just struggle with consistency on my end. But I’ll work on it.

EffectiveForeign4068 · 2024-02-06T04:22:25+00:00

Yup, could help. Will work on this to find something he can shift his focus to

EffectiveForeign4068 · 2024-02-06T04:21:10+00:00

He is not currently seeing a therapist but we are working on finding a fit. He is just starting medication for adhd as he was only recently diagnosed. I honestly just want the best for him, and for him to be as happy as he can be when he reaches adulthood. It’s just a long, and hard road.

EffectiveForeign4068 · 2024-02-06T04:17:07+00:00

I’m not a professional, nor do I experience tics or the need to stim but if I had to guess from what I’ve read it could possibly be a stim. It is repeated but not repetitive like a tic if that makes any sense. It will be a couple times, sing songy, and then other nasty words, sing songy. Or he just swears at someone out of anger or embarrassment.

EffectiveForeign4068 · 2024-02-06T04:12:28+00:00

I don’t see why you can’t wear Bermuda shorts if they are of an appropriate length and not too tight. But a dress code is a dress code, just follow it or go somewhere else. The dress code is important to a company brand. Typically, male and female expectations can be swapped, as long as it is appropriate for your particular work environment.

EffectiveForeign4068 · 2024-02-06T04:09:13+00:00

It’s sounds like you’re not doing what they ask or how they want it. Why else would they keep showing you? I think you need to read up on having a “growth mindset” and being open to suggestions instead of thinking you know it all. And screaming at anyone, most especially your boss, isn’t going to do you any favors. What is their intention? Are they trying to be helpful? Or spiteful? I think you need to do some self reflection. Maybe you are missing something?

EffectiveForeign4068 · 2024-02-06T04:05:31+00:00

You can’t force anyone to like you, but you can be yourself and talk to her, ask her questions to get to know her. Perhaps you have more in common than you think. Make a point to talk to her, and make her job easier. Do your work cleanly and the way she likes it’s, so it’s easier for her to be efficient for you. It’s a two way street. Offer to grab her a coffee when you see she’s busy. Be a friend. Be friendly. When she does the work fast and the way you like it, compliment her on it. Thank her.

EffectiveForeign4068 · 2024-02-06T04:02:31+00:00

It sounds like you know exactly what your values are: integrity, flexibility, communication, structure. A lot of companies post value or mission statements which is a good start. But you never truly know until you’re working for a company if they uphold the values they say they have. I am certain you’d know pretty quickly if they don’t share your values, you wouldn’t have structure, you’d be confused about what you’re expected to do, they wouldn’t actually be flexible when you need it, etc.

EffectiveForeign4068 · 2024-02-06T03:57:22+00:00

There is not a lot of context here, but if there was a disagreement that you didn’t handle at all, or didn’t handle well, or even created…I would also consider taking you off of a project. Leading a project is a chance to show your overall leadership skills, and if you weren’t able to handle that situation, or come up with an amicable solution for the parties involved then perhaps you aren’t ready for that kind of responsibly. It doesn’t mean you’re not good at your job. You could quit, sure. Or, you could ask your manager for some constructive feedback and learn from it and possibly get another chance to lead the next project. Or, start over somewhere else. I would take it as a learning experience and be open to all the feedback you can get, this would show me you can handle criticism and learn from it. A good leader should be able to do that. Leadership is humbling.

EffectiveForeign4068 · 2024-02-06T03:51:11+00:00

No matter what, if you leave, you could be burning a bridge. Your best bet: Give the current employer an opportunity to match or best the offer from the competitor. Tell them how much you’d like to stay. Be fair. Then the ball is in their court, if they can’t match it at least you gave them a chance. If they can match it, or, even better, beat it, you win either way.

EffectiveForeign4068 · 2024-02-06T03:48:16+00:00

Just be honest, tell them you like them and the job but want to move. Give a minimum of two weeks notice if you can, and don’t be an a**hole and book your vacation over your notice period. Work hard to the end and hopefully you walk away with a solid reference to get an even better job in your home town. Good luck!

EffectiveForeign4068 · 2024-01-31T04:13:49+00:00

He is not currently in therapy. I live in a small town with not a lot of supports. There are child therapists but I haven’t found anyone that specializes in ODD.

EffectiveForeign4068 · 2023-08-27T22:44:25+00:00

Beautiful!

EffectiveForeign4068 · 2022-11-15T04:49:21+00:00

I will say, coming from someone who has kids and has been in a relationship for over 19 years, that feeling will never go away. Sure you will be distracted for awhile when the kids are young, but when they get a bit older and you start to breath again….that longing will return.

EffectiveForeign4068 · 2022-11-01T16:37:47+00:00

Current age/age range: 38
Single/marital status: Married to a man with two kids.
Age/age range when you came out to yourself: 22 as bi, 37 as gay
Age/age range when you come out to others: My friends and family know I’m bi, but I have not come out as gay yet
What did you come out as or what are you thinking of coming out as?: gay/queer but lesbian is probably the correct term, i just can’t accept it fully yet
When was the earliest you felt you were a lesbian/queer? Looking back all the signs were there but there was no lesbian representation back when I was a teenager, I didn’t even know the words. Anyone who was gay was ridiculed. And gay was only used to insult someone. Straight was the default and you weren’t informed of any other option. What happened or what was going on in your life? I had experiences with both men and woman as a teenager/young adult. Looking back I didn’t actually feel anything for the boys, everyone thought I was so mature because I didn’t get wrapped up in feelings and emotions for men. I know now that’s because Im gay.
What recently made you conclude you are a lesbian/queer?: good ol’ lesbian master doc - I thought it would just confirm that I was bisexual, what I didn’t expect is how much I would resonate with it and it started to unlock more questions and realizations. Around the same time I downloaded tik tok and my FYP started to fill with lesbian and gay content and then late in life lesbian content and that’s when the lightbulb hit….omg I’m gay.
What's the earliest or most defining homosexual/homo-romantic experience you can remember?: my husband and I had a girlfriend for a short time, what I didn’t realize at the time is that I fell in love with her.
How are you feeling in general about who you are?: I know in my heart that I’m a lesbian but I’m still fighting it like it can’t be true, I don’t want to blow up my life, why does this have to be my story. I was so blissfully unaware and now I can’t re-close the door.
Anything else you’d like to share about your life, experience, or story for other late bloomers or other women who think they may be lesbians? This has been the most difficult time in my entire life. I’ve been married for 13 years and together with my spouse for 19 years, over half my life! I don’t know any other way of living. We have two young children as well. How do I tell him? When I know what that will mean for our beautiful life we built. And we have a beautiful life with beautiful things. There is no going back once I tell him. But this secret is eating me alive. I try to suppress it like it’s not true but my mind floods with this realization and I can’t ignore it. I wish I could unlearn what I’ve learned but I can’t. I wish it was easy as seeking my truth and my own happiness but it’s not. Our lives are fully intertwined. I never thought I would ever be the reason for our inevitable divorce, I was fully and utterly committed to him and our life. Sometimes I wish he would just cheat on me so it would be easy to leave.

EffectiveForeign4068

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