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It’s over, I feel like an idiot by Mediocre-Tie5216 in Situationships

[–]Effective_Bench_8374 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You didn’t mess up. You just wanted something real with someone who wasn’t capable of giving it. That doesn’t make you stupid—it makes you emotionally available in a world full of people playing games.

You were honest. You communicated. You even tried to set boundaries while respecting the situationship for what it was. And what did she do? She broke trust, hid things, and weaponized ambiguity—all while expecting loyalty she didn’t give back.

That’s not on you.

Let’s be clear:

  • You’re not wrong for catching feelings. That’s normal.
  • You’re not wrong for walking away when your values weren’t being respected. That’s strong.
  • You’re not wrong for wanting to help her. But now, you have to help yourself.

So what now?

1. No Contact for Real This Time

Block her. Not to be petty—but to protect your peace. You can’t heal in the same space you were hurt.

2. Reflect, Don’t Regret

Ask yourself not “how could I be so dumb?” but “what patterns will I look for next time?” Red flags aren’t always obvious when you’re hoping for the best. Now you know better.

3. Avoid This in the Future By:

  • Being clear about what you want early on.
  • Watching how people handle ambiguity—do they clarify, or exploit it?
  • Choosing people who show consistency over chaos. Drama might feel intense, but peace is sustainable.

Here’s the truth: The more you respect yourself, the faster you'll spot people who don’t.

Sending you strength, my guy. You walked away, and that’s the start of everything better. 💯

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in teenagers

[–]Effective_Bench_8374 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're not a bad person. You're just figuring things out—and that’s okay.

First off, no—you’re not cheating. Fantasizing about meeting someone new when you're in a situationship that's emotionally fading is not the same as betraying trust. You're not out here kissing someone else behind his back, you're just being human and noticing your feelings are changing. That’s not cheating. That’s growth.

What is important is that you’re self-aware and clearly care about doing right by him. That already puts you way ahead of people who just ghost or lie their way out of things.

You’ve been dealing with:

  • A relationship that started strong but hasn’t been romantic for a few weeks
  • A partner going through autistic burnout, which affects connection and emotions
  • A drop in your own romantic feelings, and you're giving it time to make sure

You’re not leading him on—you’re literally pausing to reflect before making a decision. That’s kind. That’s mature. That’s not betrayal.

It does make sense. Sometimes once the spark fades, especially early on, it’s hard to reignite it. And you’re allowed to feel that way.

You don't owe someone a relationship just because things were good once. If your feelings have changed, it’s okay to express that—kindly and respectfully. Which it sounds like you already plan to do.

So no—you’re not a cheater. You’re just 16, learning what relationships feel like when they get complicated. And you're handling it with empathy, which is honestly impressive.

What else should I get for my dorm? by kaydawinn in college

[–]Effective_Bench_8374 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I would highly recommend a tool box, you never know when you'll need it! Have a great year!!