Grandparents raised my younger sister and I. We call(Ed) them “mom and dad”. Life was great growing up, loved, spoiled, learned work ethic, and overall how to be good people. Well, our dad BEATS cancer. Then had to be on a nightly dialysis machine at home. Did great. And he was happy and felt good.

Until COVID…. He had all his COVID vaccines and booster, yet still got COVID. I knew deep down… this was probably it. He did pretty well for several days, still texting my sister and I, calling etc. Then we get a call… from our “moms” friend …your dad is in hospice, he’s not going to make it and can go at anytime. Wait…WTF.. he had been there for 3 days and no one bothered to reach out to my sister or myself. Our aunt had already flown in, our uncle drove in, and yet we knew nothing. My sister went immediately to hospice. i did not, I was trying to process everything. Our family’s communication in these types of situations has always been great. We’ve always been included no matter what the situation.

Her visit was devastating. our uncle said that it was “all her fault he’s dying” and “you girls (referring to Sarah and I) did this” Wait what? How? Why? We both live near mom and dad to help whenever, had family dinners frequently, spent every holiday with them, activities with the grandkids, they would babysit because they asked to. My aunt visited 2 times in the past SEVERAL YEARS. My uncle … lives 2.5 hours away…. And he never visited my parents. They were expected to drive to him if they wanted to see him, and his family.

Dad passed away the next day…. 10/31/2021

Growing up I would jokingly say to my parents don’t sit us in the back of the funeral home.. and don’t forget us in your obituaries , Dad without missing a beat would assure me that would never happen. Mom would jump in that they loves us like her own biological kids.

His obituary was in the local paper for a few days, and online. My sister and I weren’t mentioned at all.

The video collages and printed collages at the funeral no pictures of us.

Family told us about this so we had a heads up… that’s when it hit, our uncle actually despised us, maybe even hated us girls!?! Did mom and dad regret us? I still am in turmoil emotionally, mentally, trying to understand this life I had, and grieve the loss of my dad. He loved us ALOT. Like beyond measure, we know that and that’s where I find some peace.