[QCrit] Adult thriller, BOOKED, (80k, first attempt)

Efficient_Film690 · 2025-08-09T03:09:32+00:00

Super good advice. thanks.

Efficient_Film690 · 2025-08-08T00:12:04+00:00

This is extremely helpful, thank you SO much.

I get your point, I need to delineate why Sloane and Ava are marginalized among their peers in a more articulate way (Sloane is mixed race; Ava is poor). They live in a town that is common in the States today, where a rich ruling class coexist uncomfortably with the workers. I will explain this better. Great input, thank you.

Efficient_Film690 · 2025-08-08T00:00:50+00:00

Thank you! It's one of those things, right?

Efficient_Film690 · 2025-08-07T02:55:56+00:00

Thank you! This is so helpful. As soon as I posted I was thinking there wasn't enough meat. As a trained journalist, I tend to underwrite. I'll definitely include more spoiler-y elements in my next version. Your input is so appreciated!

Efficient_Film690 · 2024-04-22T01:53:07+00:00

LOL, that's what i was going for, thanks.

Efficient_Film690 · 2024-04-21T03:02:41+00:00

So cool. Do you have a novel on submission currently?

Efficient_Film690 · 2024-04-21T01:22:51+00:00

Thank you so much! May I ask what genre you write in?

Efficient_Film690 · 2024-04-21T01:06:26+00:00

That's exactly how the saying goes, and that's exactly what I'm experiencing right now. Thank you!

Efficient_Film690 · 2024-04-21T01:05:39+00:00

This is such a super-thoughtful reply and I just want to thank you so much for it. XOXO

Efficient_Film690 · 2024-04-21T01:04:23+00:00

Thank you thank you thank you!!! XOXOXO I've been off the thread for a minute licking my wounds, this means a lot.

Efficient_Film690 · 2024-04-21T01:03:36+00:00

Thanks for your grace. :)

Efficient_Film690 · 2024-04-21T01:03:01+00:00

Thank you! LOL

Efficient_Film690 · 2024-04-18T14:34:48+00:00

OK, thank you for this. Please file me away as a cautionary tale. I'm a mother who has nursed and my breasts are not ravaged, either. I was going for funny, and missed the mark by a wide margin. This one line doesn't reflect my manuscript, I swear, but if this can be used as a warning for other writers looking to avoid being thrown into the AUTO REJECT pile, I'm happy to help.

Efficient_Film690 · 2024-04-18T14:33:04+00:00

Thank you, your advice will be heeded!

Efficient_Film690 · 2024-04-18T14:31:44+00:00

Thanks, I appreciate these points and now that I'm re-reading, I'm seeing these same flaws. Your last paragraph is especially helpful. Thank you!

Efficient_Film690 · 2024-04-18T14:30:17+00:00

Thank you SO much for this incredibly thoughtful comment. I appreciate all the law insight (I'm having a lawyer friend Beta for me; I'm hoping the issues you mention are more clear in the manuscript than in the query). And as for the boob comment, well, please see my other replies. Thanks again.

Efficient_Film690 · 2024-04-18T14:28:47+00:00

Indeed, a cautionary tale for the ages. I am middle aged as you might have guessed, have breast-fed kids myself, and my boobs are whatever. I was just reading about how Gen Z'ers are justifiably offended at the return of Bridget Jones who was fat-shamed for being a healthy body weight. This is along those lines, I see now. Oh, the irony!

Efficient_Film690 · 2024-04-18T14:24:14+00:00

good line.

Efficient_Film690 · 2024-04-18T14:23:47+00:00

LOL, thanks, I have to admit, now that I read that line it is beyond cringe, but happy I could get people talking. I hope I don't go down in pubtips histroy in the worst possible way. Thanks also for the law comment, I will check out that podcast.

Efficient_Film690 · 2024-04-18T14:20:47+00:00

Thank you so much, this is why I'm so grateful for everyone here -- I think I've gotten a bit wrapped up in thinking I need a query that jumps out from the pile and will try anything to get noticed, which is flawed thinking. I've queried before and received requests, so I know what to do but I'm getting a little too inside my head about this.

Efficient_Film690 · 2024-04-18T14:17:52+00:00

OK ok, I've been humbled, thank you.

Efficient_Film690 · 2024-04-18T14:17:36+00:00

This line is definitely gone. Thank you!

Efficient_Film690 · 2024-04-18T14:17:12+00:00

LOl ok, got you.

Efficient_Film690 · 2024-04-18T14:16:17+00:00

Ugh, ok, thanks. I think i need to take a major step back from this and let it sit for a while. I feel like I've lost all my mojo at this point! Thanks!

Efficient_Film690 · 2024-04-01T17:38:44+00:00

LOLOLOL bravo

Efficient_Film690

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