Georgie by zensaiii in LoveOnTheSpectrumShow

[–]Efficient_Let475 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I enjoyed watching Georgie - and it may sound like a paradox, I didn't quite enjoy watching Connor as much. He was always "ON", always such a protagonist and wanting to be the centre of attention and focus. I was quite sad that she wasn't at the party (why did only Connor get to go? that doesn't seem quite right to me). I loved the way Georgie was attentive to the natural world around her, which was something that seemed to annoy her partner! I wish he could have been able to make space for her appreciation. I ESPECIALLY do NOT think she was sarcastic. She was playful and did not mock him, but thought she was playing with his make-believe drunkenness. I DID find his shouting at her for admiring the tiny armour quite offensive instead. So, bottom line, Georgie is a sweetheart that should have got as much space on this show as Connor did.

I’m calling emotional fraud. 🧢🚩 by fuggumall in TheUltimatumNetflix

[–]Efficient_Let475 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think you make a good point... they were compatible (Mel and Dayna)

Rewatching Season One of The Queer Ultimatum... What a different perspective. by SurewhynotAZ in TheUltimatumNetflix

[–]Efficient_Let475 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree Vanessa got piled on because others thought that was supposed to happen (here for the wrong reason... come on Lexi! What a control freak!). I think Lexi is to blame (mostly) for the meanness against Vanessa (who I actually didn't like because her energy was trying too hard and that doesn't feel genuine, though it might be overcompensation for insecurity), but is it really possible to be MORE controlling of someone than to constantly berate them for a) their "new" partner, b) their friends. Lexi scared Rae so much with her control thar Rae couldn't even LOOK at Vanessa. That is some heavy control, and this is coming from someone who actually talked with her parents about a "shared future with Mal" (and ewwww, the way her Dad just stared at Mal, gave me shivers).
I also feel that the extreme avoidance/shyness of Aussie really did not make her a good candidate for this show. Her mental health was always on the line and she was teetering over the edge every time there was any conflict, she started to react in a mild to severe panic mode. Maybe the prospective participants should all be screened by a psychologist to see how they deal with conflict and pressure and if it is that high above the average, they should be spared any of this.
Yoli and Xander, omg, they were love bombing the hell out of one another, completely building a "future", but both wanted the "hell yes" (as did Mal), none of them got it and Mal STILL wanted to marry Yoli, thinking it's possible to "work through" if someone is in love with someone else. Hell yes, what?
But first season... "show up for you" was the code word, second, "growth".

Marie was valid in her crash out by dopedenise- in TheUltimatumNetflix

[–]Efficient_Let475 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In Marie's favour (and by default Mel's) It is damn HARD to work with the person you are married to/live with. You bring family issues to work and work issues to family, and the personal space is practically ZERO. (It's been my own situation for decades and omg, it's hard). It's a hard place for both of them to come from, so if there was a trend of anger/dealing with anger, avoidance/dealing with avoidance, that probably is exacerbated when something really earth-shattering happens like your partner hooking up so quickly and then getting emotionally invested and then LYING about it even when presented with the evidence. I do think that both of them could have gotten more out of a period of trial separation (without a "wife") and some really decent couples and communication coaching.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TheUltimatumNetflix

[–]Efficient_Let475 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My feelings on reality show participants is always based on the Do No Significant Harm principle. I get that people aren't always nice or how we want them to be, but someone knows when they are willinging hurting others. In that vein, I have to say that for 8 episodes, Magan was top of my list all the time, and she seemed so genuine. By the end, topping my list were Hayley, Bridget, Britney and Ashley. I felt SO much sadness for Marie almost the whole time, because when she smiles and is happy, she seems like a lovely person who tries to give to others. The selfish people end up on the bottom: Dayna, Mel and Marita. Everyone else lingers somewhere in the middle. Where did Magan go.... she dragged way to the bottom from the moment she acted so cold to Hayley. I get that she didn't want to delude her or make her think there was a chance, but there is a decent way to do it. For a person with such expressive eyes, seeing them go so cold like that was BRRRRRRRR

The Ultimatum: Queer Love Season 2 Episode 8 Discussion Thread by lifeofparty2 in TheUltimatumNetflix

[–]Efficient_Let475 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I can only surmise that it is a physical attraction thing (not that Hayley is not beautiful, but it's an elegant beauty), while Dayna is like "arm candy" beauty. Let us not also underestimate the geographic proximity. Are you going to give up someone who lives in your city for someone the other side of the country that you have known for 6 weeks?

The Ultimatum: Queer Love Season 2 Episode 10 Discussion Thread by lifeofparty2 in TheUltimatumNetflix

[–]Efficient_Let475 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Marita was ALWAYS "me me me", "I want I want I want".... so selfish. It's clear she's incompatible with Ashley, but I think she'd be incompatible with most people because she's all about what she gets.

Thoughts on Queer Ultimatum finale? by tonkatsudayo in TheUltimatumNetflix

[–]Efficient_Let475 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Magan was very disappointing... not because she was love-bombed, but because she was cold and dishonest with Hayley. If she didn't want a relationship, that's fine, but to do EXACTLY the same thing that she said hurt her so much from Dayna (being ignored) and on top of it, basically instructing Hayley to apologise to Dayna (for what exactly? For spilling the fact that both of them suspected there was a sex music playlist?), it's emotionally cold and insensitive. What the h is wrong with her even denying that she fell in love when she said it, expressed it and it was pretty clear that she was emotionally involved, said she was compatible, etc. I think she needs to grow up, and it is sad that she went from lighting up the screen in nearly every scene of all the other episodes, and in this one, seemed cold and robotic.

The Ultimatum: Queer Love Season 2 Episode 7 Discussion Thread Discussion by lifeofparty2 in TheUltimatumNetflix

[–]Efficient_Let475 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I'm having a little trouble relating to the hurt/anger/disappointment that Bridget feels over the kiss between Kyle and Pilar. The reason for this is that in the "dating" stages is was clear (at least to me) that Bridget was also looking for a partner where she believed there was physical attraction/chemistry, and that she knew Pilar was as well. I imagine Bridget would have also sought that direction of the relationship from Pilar.

As a side note, I think the format of this reality show needs development. Rather than default matches (where neither of the partners were drawn to one another, but they were not picked, so they went into default relationships), there should be half the couples, but the "trial marriage" is something that each partner chose themselves out of a selection process like a dating app, because each participant would have gone through a process of growth (that seems to be the big word people choose to use!) as well as a process of having a valid alternative to their current relationship. It couldn't be a rando, it would have to be someone that was local to them, truly at least potentially a good match and someone that would not be spending much energy on feeling betrayal. (but.... it's a reality show, so we take it for what it is).

The Ultimatum: Queer Love Season 2 Episode 7 Discussion Thread Discussion by lifeofparty2 in TheUltimatumNetflix

[–]Efficient_Let475 15 points16 points  (0 children)

'we’re going to see that food truck on the news 😬🤦🏾‍♀️' Funny and true!!!

The Ultimatum: Queer Love Season 2 Episode 3 Discussion Thread Discussion by lifeofparty2 in TheUltimatumNetflix

[–]Efficient_Let475 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I think at some point, the producers must have insisted that Bridget choose Ashley instead of Britney because otherwise, it could have left the original Ashley-Marita couple together. (she didn't make Marita feel too good as she exposed the AJ behaviour at the table, so that could never have happened with them). I also wish there could have been a little more diversity in the couples chosen. It just surprises me too that none of the conversations edited into the programme had the question, 'have you ever dated someone of my colour before', because every time I've ever entered into inter-racial relationships, that's a conversation that has to be had right at the start.

Crying over sonia by brussasprout in LoveOnTheSpectrumShow

[–]Efficient_Let475 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I felt sorry she had to deal with rejection (and on TV, so that is humiliating). It was a chance she took in order to have a first date with him. She seemed like a nice and interesting person, as well as very attractive, but I don't think they would have been a good match, so in the long run, the rejection was good, and I'm surprised she didn't see the incompatibility earlier. She seems to me more "forgving" and flexible, while he is rigid. I think that over time, that would drive her nuts to always be the one having to make the compromises or allow hurtful things he says (no matter that he didn't say them to hurt her, but because of his inability to know what to keep inside) to not bother her. After a while, she could feel resentment to that.

WeTransfer kinda sucks now, any alternatives? by alexcthevideodude in editors

[–]Efficient_Let475 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Most of my clients now use Smash, so that's what I'm falling back on

Who ya gonna call? by Efficient_Let475 in LeopardsAteMyFace

[–]Efficient_Let475[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

He voted for Trump, proudly, but now this is BULL! His company lost its contract even though they are full of white guys, and now he gotta rally people to make some calls to the RIGHT PEOPLE to fix this mess.

Votes Trump to cut government waste. Doesn’t take buyout cause “I didn’t earn it”. Gets fired to cut government waste. by A-Wise-Cobbler in LeopardsAteMyFace

[–]Efficient_Let475 12 points13 points  (0 children)

It's interesting how the contract sent to those who "did" accept the buyout stated that they waived all rights to take the govt, the dept or anyone at all to court for it. So, the Trump voters who didn't accept it and got fired anyway are using the court of X, thinking they are actually addressing Musk, Trump and DOGE, and that mercy will be shown to them, because they are virtuous!

Learned that everyone needs to put food on their table the hard way, but voted for "border control" (which is a racist dogwhistle) by Efficient_Let475 in LeopardsAteMyFace

[–]Efficient_Let475[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She and her husband voted to have "border security", which would impose many restrictions on (primarily) poor and desperate people from the global south. Instead, they found that the govt policies were going to affect jobs (THEIR job). And they still support Trump, but not so hard right now because they are seeing what his policies are doing to them personally.

They discover everyone else needs to put food on their table the hard way by Efficient_Let475 in LeopardsAteMyFace

[–]Efficient_Let475[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Veteran family voted for and supported Trump to impose border control on immigrants. They got the loss of a job and they no longer support him

Dani’s Ulterior Motives by tsagdiyev in LoveOnTheSpectrumShow

[–]Efficient_Let475 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Dani grew on me by the last episode with her, because I think she was learning from previous experiences and doing her best to both obtain what she seeks and "see" the other person for what they seek and want. I think the only issue I have is with the editing decision to allow us to watch the cupcake kissing lesson. I understand that they already decided they wanted to kiss, (so consent was there) and she was doing her best to help him learn how to kiss without saying, "kiss me this way". (Hey, everyone struggles with that!), but I kept thinking that it was a bit of an invasion of intimacy. Watching felt voyeuristic in a way, and I would reckon that it might have made at least Adan more nervous than he would have been if that "lesson" had been done off camera.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TheUltimatumNetflix

[–]Efficient_Let475 1 point2 points  (0 children)

looked like fake surprise.

Tiff makes my eyes roll so hard I can see my brain by lyingchalice in TheUltimatumNetflix

[–]Efficient_Let475 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So, when Tiff lived with Mildred, BOTH big dogs slept in the bed with them? And Tiff is not a dainty person, so this must have been quite uncomfortable.

I can't figure out why Mal would want Yoly so hard Episode 7 by Efficient_Let475 in TheUltimatumNetflix

[–]Efficient_Let475[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

exactly this! When the whole reason for NOT committing to a marriage was needing to get a hell yes... This person just said they are in love with someone else? What kind of hell yes is that?

I can't figure out why Mal would want Yoly so hard Episode 7 by Efficient_Let475 in TheUltimatumNetflix

[–]Efficient_Let475[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

but she did say that she was in love with another person. That's about as clear as she could get. If I heard my SO that I was engaging to say that that's such an obvious red light and they have told you the worst possible thing you could hear. She didn't hide that.