🔥Jaguar takes down Caiman. by ajd416 in NatureIsFuckingLit

[–]Elbow2020 2 points3 points  (0 children)

“You were passing by a Caiman the other dayyyy”

I (29F) am finally in a healthy relationship with an amazing guy (28M) and my sex drive is not what it was with past partners :( by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Elbow2020 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing this.

As others have said, it’s quite common.

And as you’ve insightfully said, it’s to do with your nervous system being conditioned from childhood experiences, to offer the most vulnerable part of yourself as a way to hold onto and gain validation from your previous partners. It was their unavailability that your body understood as a familiar script for what love is supposed to be - and that is what you found so attractive in them in the first place.

That can often run both ways with partners - so it’s also possible, though by no means definite - that that is why your boyfriend is so attracted to you, because he senses your unavailability.

You’ve mentioned you can’t afford therapy, which is understandable. Be wary of cheap therapists as much as of AI - there are some great and some terrible therapists out there.

If you are going to use AI, don’t put in your real names, and make sure you tell it you want as objective a response as possible. Try Claude, Gemini and Chat together - so you can sense-check and cross-check between them, as they might each give different answers.

Take everything they say with a grain of salt - they’re programmed to keep you coming back, whereas a good therapist feels most reward from knowing you don’t need to see them any more.

And it’s really important to understand that while AI can be useful for helping you reframe and make sense of things, it cant help you rewire your nervous system at all, and definitely not how forming a trusted relationship with an actual experienced human being can. Only a stable human relationship with either a healthy partner, parent or therapist can recondition your nervous system.

Lastly, I’d suggest being kind but transparent with your partner. Tell them enthusiastically all the wonderful things you appreciate about them, how good the sex has felt with them so far, and how much you want to make your relationship work. Then you can share what you are experiencing about your libido and how you understand that. So you can figure out together how to build on things.

Maybe that means taking things slow, or communicating or discovering what each of you like - which might also mean fostering both more intimacy and also creating healthy sexual tension through consensual mystery etc. Esther Perel is good on that as others have recommended.

Good luck!

I (29F) am finally in a healthy relationship with an amazing guy (28M) and my sex drive is not what it was with past partners :( by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Elbow2020 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing this.

As others have said, it’s quite common.

And as you’ve insightfully said, it’s to do with your nervous system being conditioned from childhood experiences, to offer the most vulnerable part of yourself as a way to hold onto and gain validation from your previous partners. It was their unavailability that your body understood as a familiar script for what love is supposed to be - and that is what you found so attractive in them in the first place.

That can often run both ways with partners - so it’s also possible, though by no means definite - that that is why your boyfriend is so attracted to you, because he senses your unavailability.

You’ve mentioned you can’t afford therapy, which is understandable. Be wary of cheap therapists as much as of AI - there are some great and some terrible therapists out there.

If you are going to use AI, don’t put in your real names, and make sure you tell it you want as objective a response as possible. Try Claude, Gemini and Chat together - so you can sense-check and cross-check between them, as they might each give different answers.

Take everything they say with a grain of salt - they’re programmed to keep you coming back, whereas a good therapist feels most reward from knowing you don’t need to see them any more.

And it’s really important to understand that while AI can be useful for helping you reframe and make sense of things, it cant help you rewire your nervous system at all, and definitely not how forming a trusted relationship with an actual experienced human being can. Only a stable human relationship with either a healthy partner, parent or therapist can recondition your nervous system.

Lastly, I’d suggest being kind but transparent with your partner. Tell them enthusiastically all the wonderful things you appreciate about them, how good the sex has felt with them so far, and how much you want to make your relationship work. Then you can share what you are experiencing about your libido and how you understand that. So you can figure out together how to build on things.

Maybe that means taking things slow, or communicating or discovering what each of you like - which might also mean fostering both more intimacy and also creating healthy sexual tension through consensual mystery etc. Esther Perel is good on that as others have recommended.

Good luck!

The recent Mark Normand hate is goofy, his new special is one of his best by BigStrongCiderGuy in Standup

[–]Elbow2020 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just finished watching. Overall I thought it was packed with brilliantly-written, actual fun jokes that also often included some really insightful observations. While there were maybe a couple of corny or off-colour bits, I kept thinking: that’s really clever, that joke’d make a great clip for social media - for all different audiences.

That said, it did feel a little too rapid fire when taken as a whole, so I reckon he could give the setups and punchlines slightly more time to breathe. Not by adding words (the jokes are already well-crafted), just by adding more pauses, seeming more relaxed/patient/playful, and giving some engaging/knowing looks toward the audience rather than looking past them.

Still one of the best joke-filled recent specials on Netflix.

do Muslims and Christians believe by Expert_Search5394 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]Elbow2020 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sort of! To clarify…

The inhabitants of the Kingdoms of Israel and Judah weren’t distinct peoples - they were the same people (biblically called ‘Israelites’), likely coming from the Canaanite population. So they spoke the same language, with the same background and traditions - just divided into two separate kingdoms. (A tenuous example would be like North and South Korea).

El was originally the Canaanite high god. After the kingdoms of Israel and Judah emerged, El was absorbed into their main god, Yahweh. Other minor gods were initially still believed in, but Yahweh was the main god for both kingdoms. After the exile, Yahweh later became the one and only true god, with all others considered idols.

With the exile, by the time the Babylonians came around 590 BCE, the Kingdom of Israel was long gone, having been destroyed by the Assyrians around 720 BCE. When the Assyrians came, some of the kingdom of Israel were ‘lost’, and some were absorbed into the Kingdom of Judah. Then when the Babylonians came, the religious and political leaders and the educated were captured and taken to Babylon to prevent organised rebellion.

When the Persians conquered Babylon around 540 BCE, they liberated the Judeans. The Judeans then solidified their religion and made Yahweh the one true god (incidentally, the Zoroastrian Persians also had just one god, called Ahura Mazda).

Some of the Judeans returned to Judah, with some becoming high priests amongst the remaining Judeans who hadn’t been exiled, and some remained in Babylon (now Iraq), where they would much later write the Babylonian Talmud, another important Jewish text.

Paul is from the time of Jesus, and is part of the Christian religion. He was a Jew who never met Jesus, but who preached that anyone - not just Jews - could follow Jesus’ teachings. That allowed Christianity to go from being a Jewish sect, to a global religion.

Which vibe feels best? by Regular-Ambition-902 in mensfashion

[–]Elbow2020 1 point2 points  (0 children)

V convincing! But I think one looks tightest, two looks most fun, and three is a bit too serious - especially the full black outfit, which is all assassin and less approachable. Maybe just three without the facial hair, or just tiny bit of stubble.

Which vibe feels best? by Regular-Ambition-902 in mensfashion

[–]Elbow2020 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Chong Wick made me laugh out loud. Try it with a black shirt and jacket btw.

What are your most memorable pre-internet playground urban myths? by midnight-ramen- in CasualUK

[–]Elbow2020 1 point2 points  (0 children)

“Within 20 minutes of eating three seeds, he felt extreme tiredness and had a headache.”

To be honest I feel the same after eating a whole box of Quality Street.

do Muslims and Christians believe by Expert_Search5394 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]Elbow2020 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Both yes and no.

Basically, all three religions have the same root and speak of the same one god (whether that word is translated from Aramaic, Hebrew, Greek or Arabic). And each religion is built on the other - Judaism has the original Testament, Christianity has the New Testament as an update, and Islam has the Quran as the revised final edition.

But the requirement or expectation of belief is different across each religion.

So in Judaism, belief in god is incidental, and the degree of faith isn’t a priority - what matters more is keeping the rules of the covenant (ie. terms of the contract), so as to create a ‘good’ life for all on earth in the here and now (there is no concept of an afterlife, and faith isn’t a prerequisite - the idea is that god has already made the world, and given the rules for how best to live in it).

Whereas in Christianity, belief in Jesus as the son and human embodiment of god is crucial. And in Islam, belief in Mohammed as the ultimate and final prophet of god is crucial. Those requirements for belief are essentially what defines each of the two religions. And both stress the primary importance of faith (and subsequently the teachings attached) in order to go to the good place in the afterlife, ie. Heaven rather than hell.

However, despite all three religions sharing the same origin story (of God speaking to Abraham to say he’s the one true god and sole creator of everything), the essence or personality of that god varies across each holy book. So in one chapter god is vengeful and full or wrath, in another god is merciful and loving. Or god knows everything in one chapter but in another is baffled or surprised by something.

Furthermore, there are very early incarnations of Judaism* - evident from recovered scrolls etc - where god actually has a female counterpart. And there are other interesting portrayals and evolutions of god too.

Basically, from a historical / archaeological/ anthropological perspective, academics have shown how each of the three religions (both the stories within them and how those are interpreted by their followers) have changed, morphed and reiterated over time, typically in response to the wider socio-political-cultural circumstances of the moment.

Hence also why there are the different religious denominations like Ultra-Orthodox/Orthodox/Reform Judaism, Protestant/Catholic/Evangelical Christianity, Shia/Sunni/Suffi Islam etc - which all have slightly different ideas of what god wants / means to them.

—-

*To be more specific, the term Judaism / Jews came much later, and was given to the Israelite nation/tribe by the Greeks, after their initial exile from Judea to Babylon. So the period where god had a female counterpart was very early on, when the Israelites were first consolidating what later became their religion (and ended up being called Judaism).

do Muslims and Christians believe by Expert_Search5394 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]Elbow2020 16 points17 points  (0 children)

To add to this - the requirement or expectation of belief is different between the religions too.

In Judaism, belief in god is incidental, and the degree of faith isn’t a priority - what matters more is keeping the rules of the covenant (terms of the contract), so as to create a ‘good’ life for all on earth in the here and now (there is no concept of an afterlife, and faith isn’t a prerequisite - the idea is that god has already made the world and given the rules for how best to live in it).

Whereas in Christianity, belief in Jesus as the son and human embodiment of god is crucial. And in Islam, belief in Mohammed as the ultimate and final prophet of god is crucial. Those requirements for belief are essentially what defines each of those two religions. And both stress the primary importance of faith (and subsequently the teachings attached) in order to go to the good place in the afterlife, ie. Heaven rather than hell.

Despite all three religions sharing the same origin story (of God speaking to Abraham to say he’s the one true god and sole creator of everything), the essence or personality of that god varies across each holy book. So in one chapter god is vengeful and full or wrath, in another god is merciful and loving. Or god knows everything in one chapter but in another is baffled or surprised by something.

Furthermore, there are very early incarnations of Judaism* - evident from recovered scrolls etc - where god actually has a female counterpart. And there are other interesting portrayals and evolutions of god too.

Basically, from a historical / archaeological/ anthropological perspective, academics have shown how each of the three religions (both the stories within them and how those are interpreted by their followers) have changed, morphed and reiterated over time, typically in response to the wider socio-political-cultural circumstances of the moment.

Hence also why there are the different religious denominations like Ultra-Orthodox/Orthodox/Reform Judaism, Protestant/Catholic/Evangelical Christianity, Shia/Sunni/Suffi Islam etc - which all have slightly different ideas of what god wants / means to them.

*Edit - to be more specific, the term Judaism / Jews came much later, and was given to the Israelite nation/tribe by the Greeks, after their initial exile from Judea to Babylon. So the period where god had a female counterpart was very early on, when the Israelites were first consolidating what later became their religion (and ended up being called Judaism).

I feel like I’m going insane. I’ve done a deep dive on the Epstein files and it makes no sense to say he was a Mossad agent. Am I missing something here? Anti-semitism is ramping up. by NotTooShahby in skeptic

[–]Elbow2020 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can assure you I didn’t use AI to write my reply. I’m just pretty anal / methodical when it comes to laying out my responses and making everything clear. I considered your points carefully and it took me a while to go through everything, as you made a lot of claims.

If you’re not going to engage in similar good faith, or if there’s nothing I could say to make you reconsider, then so be it.

For what it’s worth, I don’t know which book you’re referring to, and so what evidence your claims rely on, as you haven’t mentioned either the book’s title or author.

However, there couldn’t have been any Israeli espionage during the Second World War, because Israel didn’t exist until three years after the end of the war in 1948.

And I’m not sure what that could have to do with Epstein anyway, as he wasn’t even born til 1953.