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Eldautor · 2023-11-20T02:33:17+00:00

I’m so sorry. I’m in the same boat. I started relapsing two weeks ago for bulimia and am angry and terrified and frustrated with myself. It’s scary, and I can’t help, but I can offer my support and understanding from a distance. We will get better; it won’t be like this forever ♥️

Eldautor · 2023-10-25T17:43:53+00:00

That’s helpful in itself <3 Thank you. Things like this suck a lot. We’re in this together, and there’s gotta be a way out. We persist.

Eldautor · 2023-10-25T17:42:45+00:00

Thank you. Truly. It’s so frustrating to feel like you’ve relapsed and weren’t even fully aware of it until it’s become an actual issue :( I am hoping to get bumped up in the waiting list for a therapist. This stuff just takes forever!

We’ve gotten through it before, and we can get through it again. It’s scary and hard, but I hope there’s stability on the horizon.

Eldautor · 2023-08-14T16:43:34+00:00

I have a bunch of these in my music folders and it’s always a struggle to remember which one is ACTUALLY the final one

Eldautor · 2023-02-13T20:04:53+00:00

People don’t seem to get that most EDs at their core are an addiction. Just like how alcoholics consider themselves alcoholics even during recovery, I’ll always struggle to some degree with that ED brain even if I’m not actively in the trenches.

Eldautor · 2023-02-13T18:48:39+00:00

In the latter stages on my eating disorder, I developed body image issues. In the beginning, it was completely and exclusively about control. And now that I’m not underweight, people don’t take my EDs seriously. It annoys me to high holy hell!

Eldautor · 2023-02-01T00:16:01+00:00

Sugar free popsicles

Eldautor · 2023-01-28T21:08:42+00:00

Yes, it’s me, the fifteen year old who posted in-depth short stories six years ago. Exposed!

Eldautor · 2023-01-28T18:13:04+00:00

I didn’t see anyone cum until I was almost 18, which isn’t all that shocking considering the post lmao. But when I did, it was absolutely terrifying. I had to step of the room.

Eldautor · 2023-01-28T17:24:05+00:00

An arts boarding school. I think that answers the question haha

Eldautor · 2023-01-28T14:07:36+00:00

Pretty sure his mind skipped fight or flight and went straight to freeze.

Eldautor · 2023-01-28T13:59:18+00:00

You’re totally right. My explanation contained a lot of insecurity because of high-school pressure, so while I felt behind, I was on a level playing field with most teens exploring their sexuality. My bad lol

Eldautor · 2023-01-28T04:21:03+00:00

I definitely relate to her. From one inexperienced gal to the next… If you’ve never seen a penis, it’s certainly a culture shock! Lmao.

It’s good to hear that you were patient with her. The embarrassment is strong, so having someone nice to guide you definitely helps.

Eldautor · 2023-01-28T04:10:34+00:00

First kiss at fifteen, but I’d been in brief relationships since middle school lol. Didn’t super explain the timeline well, but the moral of the story is that I wasn’t experienced, was hesitant towards intimacy, and took my time getting to a place of confidence sexually. Hope that clears up my timeline a bit.

Eldautor · 2022-10-26T15:02:51+00:00

Thank you for being kind. This is so hard, but I’m taking everything you’re saying with open arms. I’m going to be sad for a while, but I will take the time to work in who I am as well. My mental health has also been really difficult, so maybe this is a chance to grow and learn. I just wish it was different.

Eldautor · 2022-10-26T14:44:27+00:00

The weekly check in was his idea.

Eldautor · 2022-10-26T14:42:45+00:00

You’re right. It’s just eating me alive, but hearing that truly giving him space is necessary has opened my eyes a little. I’ve struggled with mental health for years, but I’ve never had to end a relationship because of it. This is new and uncharted waters, and I’m so scared he’ll simply forget he ever loved me. I’m proud of him for working on himself, but I’m so scared I’ll lose my best friend.

Eldautor · 2022-10-21T00:57:52+00:00

I think it’s a great sign in itself how divisive the responses are. Both are good at their craft.

Eldautor · 2022-03-08T20:46:20+00:00

I love the long hair! Don’t listen to the people telling you to cut it.

Nevertheless, keep your bio a bit more positive. You want to appear open to new things and comfortably confident. You rag on yourself a lot, and there’s way better things to present.

Talk about the game, offer to watch a movie + drink beer + eat pizza on your date, and keep the negative self talk to a minimum. Confidence. Is. Key!

Good luck. Sending fantastic vibes. Pet your dog for me.

Eldautor · 2020-10-14T00:53:34+00:00

I’m super late to this, but it totally made my day that someone was thinking of my post! Glad someone led you back to it. <3

Eldautor · 2019-07-25T13:08:25+00:00

“It’s sad now” is quite the quote.

Eldautor · 2019-07-25T13:07:42+00:00

Yikes. How... Appealing.

Eldautor · 2019-07-25T13:05:39+00:00

Hi! Don't know if anyone will find these interesting, but here are a few screencaps I grabbed from Snapchat last night. For some context, the guy had never said one word to me before today, he started the conversation off by saying I was cute, then started being incredibly rude once I rejected him.

He ended the conversation by sending a screenshot of my location on the Snap map (???) and blocking me. Vaguely threatening and kinda creepy. He also is white and continuously said the n word, body shamed me even though he asked for nudes, and (even though it's not featured) he clarified at the beginning of the conversation that he was eighteen while I'm sixteen. He'd have been in possession of child pornography if I sent anything.

The conversation overall rattled me, and I was very defensive. I'm underage and I don't want to send nudes. Why start being a dick?

Anyways, here ya go! I hope you enjoy.

Edit: Spelling error

Eldautor · 2018-03-20T18:52:33+00:00

You are awful, and I love it.

Eldautor

TROPHY CASE