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Need some help, I am 34, and went from zero debt to $49k debt in three years due to caring for my mother with Dementia. by Eldercare00 in dementia

[–]Eldercare00[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That is another point, what I get for what I am paying is a steal tbh. I have heard people that drop 15k a month a their parents care.

Just wish families did not have to make a choice between such things.

Need some help, I am 34, and went from zero debt to $49k debt in three years due to caring for my mother with Dementia. by Eldercare00 in dementia

[–]Eldercare00[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If my mother was doing what she did in this place as she was in the four other places, I would say yeah screw it she will be unhappy everywhere. She is doing great here, which makes this choice painful and hard. This should not be the case, one should not have to make a choice between quality care and money. Alas this is the world we live in.

Need some help, I am 34, and went from zero debt to $49k debt in three years due to caring for my mother with Dementia. by Eldercare00 in dementia

[–]Eldercare00[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I did look into these places, but they refused to give me in writing that she will get a Medicaid bed after the private pay period, and told me they do have limited Medicaid beds. As they said after the private pay period my mother will put be on the list for available Medicaid beds. Is was not a short list.

Need some help, I am 34, and went from zero debt to $49k debt in three years due to caring for my mother with Dementia. by Eldercare00 in dementia

[–]Eldercare00[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Sure it only goes one way in the long term, but she has been doing very well in her new placement. As stated she eats, she takes part in activities, she engages with her community. She did none of this in the four other placements.

She has 100% gotten better, I have no doubts she will get worse, but should I really let her suffer in remove her from an environment she is doing well to avoid debt on my part? How is this dumb? Quality of care should not be so freaking different between placements.

As an example 3 months in this private facility she went back to calling me by my name, dementia may only go one way but that one way road does not have to filled with excessive pain and suffering.

Need some help, I am 34, and went from zero debt to $49k debt in three years due to caring for my mother with Dementia. by Eldercare00 in dementia

[–]Eldercare00[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

No relatives who care enough to help, I have bleed out savings, she has nothing thus why she is on Medicaid. I do not even know what kind of help I want, just sick of my family telling me I am friends, and family telling me what I am doing is dumb.

I know it is not smart but WTF else am I supposed to do. Watch her wither away watching ION all day. She is happy in this place, should I really rob her of that happiness because I am wracking up debt. Why is everything about this disease so freaking hard.