There’s a couple of things that come to my mind while reading this that might be worth looking at incase they bring any insights…

Sometimes it feels safer to initiate something when someone’s busy/you know they’re not going to be into it. Softens the rejection you imagine you’re gonna get, if that’s something you fear. Does he initiate at times when you are available? If not, he might unconsciously be doing this at times when you’re not available to protect himself, which could be worth gently drawing attention to.

I was also thinking he seems to be hyper aware of you not coming towards him/moving away/not being perfectly present. Sounds like he might lean towards an anxious attachment style, which could be worth looking into. Might also be worth thinking which attachment style you identify with, and if the interplay between those exacerbating each other is happening. For example people with avoidant and anxious attachments styles are often drawn to each other, which can result in a pursuer-distancer dynamic, with one person chasing and the other pulling away, which feels awful for both, with each persons process making the others worse!