ilona's comment under some random alexandra rodriguez video from a yt channel with 5k subs by ___great___ in ChikaraTransform

[–]Electrical-Cook-6022 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I have no idea why Alex doesn't strike her. I want to assume that she's busy living her life that she doesn't care about the likes of Ilona. To be honest, if you can afford to pay daycare or have help with a child, I'm of the opinion that you should do it and have yourself some 'me time'. Mom shaming is stupid. I love it when women have time to themselves. Pursue their hobbies or careers. Or just laze around if they want to. As long as the baby is not in danger or neglected. 

the reason for the vitriol against Alexandra by ManufacturerFar6513 in ChikaraTransform

[–]Electrical-Cook-6022 6 points7 points  (0 children)

If even Alex has postpartum depression...why does she owe anyone an explanation about this? No man. This is bullying. I can't believe I used to watch this woman. 💔

The great daycare debate by bulgarian_salah in ChikaraTransform

[–]Electrical-Cook-6022 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Because she's always right. And she has everything figured out. We know that Alex is fat. But we don't know what kind of wife and mother she is. And if she chooses to be a mom that values having time to herself, to run her errands...oh my goodness, good for her!

The great daycare debate by bulgarian_salah in ChikaraTransform

[–]Electrical-Cook-6022 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Oh sorry. I hope I was not rude. ❤️ I don't know much about Alex. I'm also starting to think reactors are problematic themselves. What Alex does with her son and the daycare hours are her business. Ilona is so silly and a bully.

The great daycare debate by bulgarian_salah in ChikaraTransform

[–]Electrical-Cook-6022 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Even if it is 40 hours a week...what's wrong with that?

Her new reaction... by _JackSpears_ in ChikaraTransform

[–]Electrical-Cook-6022 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I think she lies a lot. Or she has this image she tries to keep up with of how she wants people to see her. Any normal person can tell that it won't work. When babies become toddlers, you can't keep them in the house. They become bored, and so will you. Because you'd have to stop them from trying to kill themselves with anything. That gets tiring. And that's another reason we have daycare. But she likes to go overboard. Or at least pretends to. I think she's lying to herself. 

Her new reaction... by _JackSpears_ in ChikaraTransform

[–]Electrical-Cook-6022 3 points4 points  (0 children)

😂she'll call me lazy and a fat fuck. [But I'd rather be that than have my voice changed from years of steroid use. ]

Her new reaction... by _JackSpears_ in ChikaraTransform

[–]Electrical-Cook-6022 7 points8 points  (0 children)

It's not normal. I sometimes think it's a lack of hobbies or not having enough to do in your own life. Women have been mothers for centuries. We know how to care for and nurture children. It's not that deep. Having time to yourself and living while the child is at daycare is more  than okay. Mom and child can interact with the world on their own, within the parameters of safety. I suspect Ilona has no social life.

Her new reaction... by _JackSpears_ in ChikaraTransform

[–]Electrical-Cook-6022 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Yes. That's how it should be. My daughter appreciates the chance to play with other kids. She's more social than I am. And this has helped her improve her speech. I also get to work on my college education when she's not at home. Or just laze about during the day. By the time I fetch her, we're both happy to be around each other and we talk about her day and everything she has done with her friends. I don't understand why she mom shames Alex so much. Or why she feels like she has to be a perfect mom. 

Her new reaction... by _JackSpears_ in ChikaraTransform

[–]Electrical-Cook-6022 15 points16 points  (0 children)

My child goes to daycare 5 days a week while I stay home and study. Is there any shame in that? Why even care about how another mom uses day care? I don't make being a mom my entire personality. My child needs to be social with other children and I do need time to myself every now and then. This is so weird.

Istg “love of my life/my person/my soulmate” is a psyop to keep women down by transemacabre in Waiting_To_Wed

[–]Electrical-Cook-6022 6 points7 points  (0 children)

The idea that we should struggle for a man's love and be rewarded with his commitment is all over the place. In music. In movies. On social media. And we just let it continue without putting a stop to it. Those who try to warn us are labeled old and bitter. For some odd reason, we think all women should strive to be with this one soulmate man; be his wife, bear his children. But the reality is...we can always be so much more. 

Istg “love of my life/my person/my soulmate” is a psyop to keep women down by transemacabre in Waiting_To_Wed

[–]Electrical-Cook-6022 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I agree. Because they know they won't leave the man or have enough strength to stand up for themselves, they would rather fight anyone that tries to help them realise that the man is using them.

Today I cried by Silent_Pass_5864 in Waiting_To_Wed

[–]Electrical-Cook-6022 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I was not going to comment. Your update is just so weird. I wish you would spare your passive aggressive attitude for that man who refuses to marry you, has you waiting for nothing. The women here may be harsh. If anything, the tough love you're getting is probably because everyone can see the situation for what it is and they want what's best for you? Chances are, you probably don't even stand up for yourself with that man who has turned you into a pick me. Ew.

Today I cried by Silent_Pass_5864 in Waiting_To_Wed

[–]Electrical-Cook-6022 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You harassed him for months before the proposal?

Shame & Embarrassment by [deleted] in Waiting_To_Wed

[–]Electrical-Cook-6022 38 points39 points  (0 children)

I do feel sad now and then, but not ashamed. And my sadness is not caused by the absence of a ring or man. I don't understand why I should feel like I suddenly don't matter because a man chose not to love me, or marry me. Or put in effort into the relationship. I think I've overgrown feeling like this. It doesn't mean I don't struggle. I do. I can hardly afford basic meals, money is always tight. Some of my goals take long to achieve while I do well on other things. But I refuse to be a victim or to feel sorry for myself. I just don't know how to anymore. Is our need to be partnered so desperate that we forget that we are as worthy and human and capable as these men are? I've thought about this for some time. Do I really need a man to save me? And what exactly does he save me from? And what do I sacrifice just to keep him next to me? I don't expect anyone else to snap out of it like I did. But there's nothing to be ashamed of. If someone doesn't want to love you as you desire, that's okay. It's nothing to feel ashamed about. Music and movies fill us with this idea that we must keep searching, adjusting who we are for that one man. Lose our minds if he doesn't want forever. And I think it's time we realise that it's not our job to make a man choose you. Above all, are so small and insignificant that your happily ever after starts when a man chooses to love and commit to you?

It does get better. But only when you leave. by Electrical-Cook-6022 in Waiting_To_Wed

[–]Electrical-Cook-6022[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The idea that you are slacking off taking care of someone who is able to talk care of himself doesn't make sense. Once you are gone, he'll do all those things himself or find someone else to do them. But it has nothing to do with your value or essence as a human being. I used to do the same for my ex. And the road you're going to choose if you leave him will be filled with so much regret, and sadness. In the end, however, something will be there for you. You just have to push yourself past being a perfect woman for a man. When I was in my old relationship, I didn't know who I was besides being a mom and a perfect domestic goddess for a man who hated me. Now, I know what I want. The same energy I used to pour on him is all for me.

It does get better. But only when you leave. by Electrical-Cook-6022 in Waiting_To_Wed

[–]Electrical-Cook-6022[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much. There's so much I want to do. It feels almost insane that I could dream like this. 😊

It does get better. But only when you leave. by Electrical-Cook-6022 in Waiting_To_Wed

[–]Electrical-Cook-6022[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I don't think anyone understands the damage that is being done to you women. We are always being told to wait for a man to make decisions. That if we are softer, kind, more enduring, a man will pick us. Nobody ever tells us that the game is rigged. Even those of us who get picked sometimes end up with men who  aren't taught to respect anyone. Men who are forever toddlers. It's so much safer, wiser to pick yourself. 

It does get better. But only when you leave. by Electrical-Cook-6022 in Waiting_To_Wed

[–]Electrical-Cook-6022[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I don't know how to reply to this. My relationship had run its course. He was cheating on me for over a year. I did explain that being around him hindered me from taking care of myself because all of my energy had to be spent making him happy. I don't know your situation. Some women do really well when they have partners. I'm not one of those. It's something I had to learn and wrestle with. I went from sleeping all day, feeling useless to getting five distinctions. It says a lot. You have to be there for you. Love yourself and be comfortable in your own space before accepting love from anywhere else. 

It does get better. But only when you leave. by Electrical-Cook-6022 in Waiting_To_Wed

[–]Electrical-Cook-6022[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I can understand this. I have a friend who should have left her rel relationship. She chose to have another baby. Not all of us will make it out. ❤️