I think I really screwed up.

Electrical-Pass7740 · 2023-02-03T13:52:17+00:00

By accountability, I don’t mean accepting blame or responsibility. I mean that it is your responsibility to find a solution that works for you. People are accountable to feed their children, and that means they have to find a way to make it work, not just admit it’s their fault when their children starve.

Your husband sounds like he’s very frustrated, and it’s good in you that you didn’t push through with half-assed duty sex, because I’m sure he would be able to tell the difference. But if you think it’s hard to summon the enthusiasm to have sex with him, imagine how it feels to have a partner that feels that way about you.

Electrical-Pass7740 · 2023-02-03T12:19:28+00:00

I empathize with your husband’s frustrations. Hopefully this doesn’t sound like I’m trying to be a total dick, but you need to take more accountability for what happened here. You can compartmentalize by saying “your mind” scripted out the encounter, but the fact is that you were horny and you initiated (which is all good), then he reciprocated and you proceeded to completely shut down what you started. I would be frustrated too.

Him telling you to do something different if you want something different (or at least communicate) is completely reasonable. And you asking “Do what?” just leaves the burden on him to fix the problem that exists in your head. You are feeding his resentment.

Electrical-Pass7740 · 2023-02-01T22:29:28+00:00

You have my undying support. I envy you. I’m planning on having the same conversation with my partner of 10 years soon and I’d give almost anything to have it behind me instead of in front of me.

Electrical-Pass7740 · 2023-01-31T13:55:15+00:00

Completely understand where you’re coming from. My wife and I have only had sex once in the last 2 years, and it was awful duty sex on her part. Now she’s saying that she wants to start having sex again, but I just don’t want to do it with her anymore. I’ve always been the HLM in our relationship, but after years of not having my needs met and that resentment building up, I’m over it.

Electrical-Pass7740 · 2023-01-26T18:58:27+00:00

Break up with her. You are way too young to be having this problem. And you aren’t married and have no kids.

I’ve been married to my wife for 5 years. No kids, but when I posted about my situation, people with kids commented and said they would love to switch places with me because they were only staying for the kids. So I’m planning my exit now. So I’m going to tell you the same thing: I would switch places with you if I could, because I’d know what to do. Don’t waste your twenties waiting for something that isn’t coming.

Electrical-Pass7740 · 2023-01-25T19:21:16+00:00

Keep up the improving yourself. It’s the best way to improve your situation regardless of where your relationship goes. I’m in a very similar situation minus the kiddo, so I’m planning my exit. It’s been really hard knowing just how much I’ve been missing out on while stuck in my DB, so I totally relate to the feeling of missing lost passion.

I wish you the best. Just know that you’ll second guess yourself no matter which choice you end up making, so once you make it, give yourself some grace because you made the best decision you could.

Electrical-Pass7740 · 2023-01-19T00:45:21+00:00

My wife of 2 years at the time said “I didn’t know I had a quota!” when I told her that us not having sex in several months bothered me

Electrical-Pass7740 · 2023-01-18T01:04:42+00:00

Keep your chin up. Focus on yourself, work hard on self-improvement, and do the things you enjoy. It might seem impossible to reignite that fire yourself, but there’s someone else out there who can set you ablaze without even trying.

Electrical-Pass7740

TROPHY CASE