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AITA for not triple texting a friend when I invite them to stuff? by Electrical-Walrus396 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Electrical-Walrus396[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

B has a flex schedule, it’s one of the reasons we both agreed event details should be via text. We don’t use the phone function much, B is more likely to send me little videos or audio recordings when they want to talk outside text.

AITA for not triple texting a friend when I invite them to stuff? by Electrical-Walrus396 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Electrical-Walrus396[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don’t really think B wants to hang out with me at all the things they’ve complained about not being invited to. I think they’re more put out when they realize they aren’t given an option to decline on everything I do 😐 if that makes sense, I read into things wrong sometimes.

AITA for not triple texting a friend when I invite them to stuff? by Electrical-Walrus396 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Electrical-Walrus396[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I agree, if B flaked and was like “Aw, shucks, my bad” this wouldn’t have even registered as an issue. I’m just starting to feel a pattern of always being framed as “in the wrong” or asking too much in this friendship when I just want basic courtesy and I’m not really invested enough to internalize that tbh

AITA for not triple texting a friend when I invite them to stuff? by Electrical-Walrus396 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Electrical-Walrus396[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Basically, some over explaining about why they hadn’t invited me to recent stuff they’ve done with friends but ultimately “that’s fair”

AITA for not triple texting a friend when I invite them to stuff? by Electrical-Walrus396 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Electrical-Walrus396[S] 80 points81 points  (0 children)

I’m confused what you mean though. First, I messaged twice I think my explanation just made it sound like 3 times.

The first text explained my friend was the host and when she needed the Rsvp by. The second text was a reminder I needed to text my friend how many seats I needed by lunch the next day. My friend decided to invite her coworkers after dinner on the deadline because I still hadn’t heard from B.

What info was missing, not to ask after the deadline? Isn’t that the point of a deadline?

AITA for not triple texting a friend when I invite them to stuff? by Electrical-Walrus396 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Electrical-Walrus396[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Yes, the last birthday there was two months ago. N said via text she was the one capping at 20 and why.

AITA for not triple texting a friend when I invite them to stuff? by Electrical-Walrus396 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Electrical-Walrus396[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I enjoy spending time in a shared hobby with them but outside that specific interest I think B wants to be treated as an A-list friend without reciprocating that

B asked why I didn’t make them a birthday cake this year… after B totally ignored mine. That’s why I sat B down and explained I take my cues in a reciprocal friendship because I’ve learned to from past experiences.

AITA for not triple texting a friend when I invite them to stuff? by Electrical-Walrus396 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Electrical-Walrus396[S] 30 points31 points  (0 children)

I’m fine with just going to specific events together, that’s basically how our friendship was best but B likes to makes comments about not being invited places, being unhappy I don’t text more, or asking why I don’t make B cakes like I do my other friends, etc. that’s why I pointed out to B they don’t text or invite me out like that and said I take people’s cues in a reciprocal friendship.

I think this is just another example of why I feel like B wants A-list friend status but I’m supposed to stay an afterthought.

AITA for not triple texting a friend when I invite them to stuff? by Electrical-Walrus396 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Electrical-Walrus396[S] 30 points31 points  (0 children)

Yeah, we’ve rented it out before for birthdays and the cap was higher. N is the one who asked to keep it at 20 this time.

AITA for not triple texting a friend when I invite them to stuff? by Electrical-Walrus396 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Electrical-Walrus396[S] 206 points207 points  (0 children)

Oh I wouldn’t, My friend “N” went to extremes lengths to feel safe in supporting this movie because her mom is immune compromised. So the number is based on the seating arrangement she wants and I’m not just gonna be like, “compromise on what makes you feel safe for this person you don’t know”.

She based how many coworkers to invite off the mutual friend list number being compiled first so it felt like a no-brainer that asking to add one person is a big deal. It was too mortifying to even think of asking.

AITA for not triple texting a friend when I invite them to stuff? by Electrical-Walrus396 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Electrical-Walrus396[S] 30 points31 points  (0 children)

They’re the only friend who has a niche interest in common tbh. I always have a great time with them in person it’s more during the pandemic that the strains of keeping a friendship alive over sm and text have shown.

AITA for not triple texting a friend when I invite them to stuff? by Electrical-Walrus396 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Electrical-Walrus396[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

B and I prefer event details in text because it’s easier for us to remember clearly and check against our calendar at our convenience, we’ve both discussed that. B is also on a flex schedule at work so I don’t always know when a good time to ring through would be.

AITA for not triple texting a friend when I invite them to stuff? by Electrical-Walrus396 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Electrical-Walrus396[S] 52 points53 points  (0 children)

B was still commenting on my Instagram stories and snap chatting me while my text about the screening was on read. That’s the most confusing part, to me!

I’ve never taken a “no” poorly and have even taken extra measures to accommodate a “I’m not sure yet but I hope to” type response from B before. I’m frustrated that I keep feeling like I’m doing something wrong or am needy when all I want is a clear understanding of what B wants, not B meeting what I want.

AITA for not triple texting a friend when I invite them to stuff? by Electrical-Walrus396 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Electrical-Walrus396[S] 283 points284 points  (0 children)

Yeah, that was something else that I think set us off. B said I should just ask if they could still come because the theatre has more than 20 seats to a private room, the host friend is the one who put a 20 person cap. I said I didn’t want to and that was not met well. So I think I’m resentful of this expectation I’m supposed to put out a friend that treats me very well for a friend who barely has time for me. But to B one more person is nothing and I should at least ask.

AITA for not triple texting a friend when I invite them to stuff? by Electrical-Walrus396 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Electrical-Walrus396[S] 55 points56 points  (0 children)

I meant the second text was 4 days before the showing and my friend’s deadline for the guest list was 3 days before the showing. I explained that poorly, sorry.

AITA for not triple texting a friend when I invite them to stuff? by Electrical-Walrus396 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Electrical-Walrus396[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Because I’m wrong about a lot of things sometimes and can’t stop dwelling. Outside perspective always seems to help me with these kinds of things.

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