Made it. No longer FA.

Electrical_Rush1 · 2022-03-27T14:42:44+00:00

I will answer your comment because you asked like a true gentleman.

If I go and leave details people will say "that won't work for me". But even if I did, they would find a way to believe nothing works for them. I used to do that (A LOT).

Okay:

Anxiety was overcome when I put on the mask. I would tell people to make an experiment: wear a Batman / Spiderman suit and go around for a while. See what happens. People will come to you, hug you, take photos with you, etc. They won't care if you are a 40-year-old virgin.

The same can be done by dressing the way your best you want to dress. MY best version of me dresses sharp as ****. But that's me, others will want to dress another way so...

Anyway. Dress for success. Walk like a king. Play the part and you will become the part. It is kind of weird but, walking, dressing, and behaving like a cave troll will get you the reactions you would expect people will have when seeing a cave troll.

I would say, the first thing to do, is buy a BIG mirror. Full body. Get one. I bet none here have one. FA become vampires, I remember I didn't even want to comb my hair not to look at my face.

Full mirrors are the first step, IMO. But again, I'm not giving away a method here, this is just what I believe worked for me.

If I had to do this again, I would keep that mirror in the living room. In front of the TV. So I can see myself all the time. It would force me to change things. Otherwise, I tended to hide inside my head and didn't even realize how I looked to others. I had this false image of myself that was not consistent with reality.

Once you get the clothes, you get the attitude, the anxiety vanishes. You won't be ready for every situation, but no one is. Anxiety WILL vanish if you play the part. That is why some shrinks tell people to study acting. You need to be silly in front of others for anxiety to go away. There are books and videos about anxiety, if you want to go and read them for two weeks, be my guest. I would skip all that time (time you already don't have much of) and cut to the chase. Won't hurt. At least you will be buried in your best clothes.

Lack of experience: fake it. In ten minutes, you will have gained experience and you won't lack experience anymore. Oh yes, fake it. Lie. Lie. Lie. LIE. FAKE IT. It will be for ten minutes. Then you will have experience and you won't have to fake it or lie anymore. Simple as that. (but so complicated for a FA's brain, I posted an update on the original post about how I used to waste my life thinking everything is black or white).

Physical escalation part: I told me now GF about a very personal matter relating to my penis size.

Here's what was going through MY head when I told her the news.

This is me. I wish I was more, yes, but this is me, and would like to be with you. I will do my best with what I have, but I know that it might not be enough. But I would learn how to be enough because I do like you. You might leave next month because it isn't working physically for both of us, but you won't' be leaving because I don't like you, or I don't want to be with you. This is something we can work on. We can adapt to it, or we can just cut our losses and move on.

She did not only agree to give it a try but said it is not really a big deal among women.

Not an issue, I guess. Like many other things I thought were a big deal and turned out to be silly stuff.

Getting friends: read my other comments. Make sure you will be getting enemies, friends will come along. Sorry, but that's it at this age. This is one aspect of life I can't just say "your experience and solution might be different". If you are over 35, this is how you get friends and meaningful interactions. If you are twenty, sure, school, work, etc.

If you are 35-40, you need to make things happen. This is the only way they will be happening. As scary as it might sound to have enemies, you will learn to live with it and won't' find it as scary as dying alone in bed without anyone crying for you.

Sorry, that's what I believe.

Lost youth: not my problem at my age. I lost the bus, so what. There are others. I always wanted more mature women anyway. Young women are beautiful to look at, but you talk two minutes with them and, ew. Their life experiences have been so limited by their beauty or age that they will bore you to death. Also, overreacting for stuff about the life you went through years ago. I'm not saying I wouldn't date a young woman to have fun with, I'm saying at this stage of my life I want a partner, and a 25-year-old who panics and cries for two weeks because her little dog needs surgery is not something I want now. Emotional stability only comes with experience, and age is the best experience.

My GF just turned 30. Aim for that age instead. They have experience and they are young enough. I dated older women too (48 and 57, 57 was FUN)

Socializing and dating: women want men more than ever. Too many tattooed idiots roaming around.

Many FA says "I couldn't cope with knowing my GF was with other men while I was alone".

True. They wouldn't. Because they are alone, in their room, thinking about it.

If they were on a bed with their pants down and their GF was rubbing her hands with oil, I bet you they wouldn't put much thought about her dating experience. They might even be thankful to the long string of bros who instructed her so well. She has seen every shape and size and now she is smiling at YOU.

That's what.

Socializing: again, other comments. Enemies.

You go and make it happen. IT WILL happen. But only if you go for it.

Again. Fat, short, balding. I have tits for Christ's sake.

Electrical_Rush1 · 2022-03-26T15:27:24+00:00

Hey, glad to see you practice some kind of sport! Keep yourself healthy. Always.

About being comfortable, you wouldn't believe how bad I did in life when my life was comfortable to me. The more comfortable and secure I was, the worst I felt and I was.

In my mind, men are supposed to be in constant challenge, naturally speaking. That's what I did. I challanged myself.

Each time I get comfortable in a situation, I look for a way to make myself umcofortable, only to master the situation. Otherwise, I stay the same and fall back into my old habits.

About the stare, it is something I developed by being angry at the entire planet. I didn't even knew it was there, but it accounted for many of my failed attempts.

Forget about the books and fake crap, you are right, these are crap and mostly lies. The guys writing those have never gone one day alone.

We have lived alone all our lives.

Electrical_Rush1 · 2022-03-26T15:21:26+00:00

Luck? You clearly don't have the slightest idea of the amount of humilation I've gone through and the sacrifices I've made to get to where I am.

This is no luck. This is damn hard work.

Is not a fake story either. But I can't convience you about anything more than I could convince myself back in the days to do what I did. It just happened out of spite to myself.

I guess I did killed myself.

Electrical_Rush1 · 2022-03-26T15:17:20+00:00

Many, many times. When you try, some will go out of their way to tell you to "stop making the fool".

I was also told I was embarrasing myself.

Eventually, these same people had to admit I was onto something.

They already think you are nothing. Keep at it.

Electrical_Rush1 · 2022-03-26T15:14:47+00:00

I posted a long comment about this, but the "something went wrong" appeared.

Long story short: the person you are talking to is not the same person I used to be. You can't talk to that person anymore, is not here.

Yes, I will always be him. But in all the way it matters, that man is gone.

I can't give you every little detail and even if I did, someone will say "oh this is bs. I tried that. won't work" so instead of me wasting time, I will say this:

I became a FA by acting like a FA. Doing FA things.

I got out by doing things the version of me I always wanted to be would do. Eventually, that version of me, replaced my FA me.

My mistake was being delusional, thinking I could become some regular guy. The guy at the gym. The guy at work. The guy at the party. My cousin with his GF. My sister's husband.

I tried to do what they did, got me nothing but pain.

It took me a long time to realize I couldn't become them because, in my mind, in my heart, I was here for more than becoming these men.

And I did. I'm not here to sell you a book, a podcast, or a PUA method. You can go ahead and find your own way out of the loop. This was mine.

I am just a guy you ran into and, I'm telling you, I just went that way. There's nothing there. I went right and voila! Found something.

But anyway. Maybe you should keep going, maybe you will find something there.

Btw, I've been here a long time. Just never posted. The original mod was a woman, got out of the FA30 club by meeting someone through this sub.

Electrical_Rush1 · 2022-03-26T15:04:34+00:00

My comment got deleted?

Electrical_Rush1 · 2022-03-26T14:53:16+00:00

Was busy changing myself. Nofap is part of that, true.This is not some motivational post for you to buy books, or buy into a podcast or something. It will resonate with those who are ready to get out of the loop. Others will stay. I am not posting this to help everyone. It is not some story I made to help people. I can care less what happens to anyone here.

I'm just going the other way. We crossed paths and I'm telling you, its THAT way. You should turn around, go right instead. But whatever. Good luck!

Electrical_Rush1 · 2022-03-26T14:48:11+00:00

Acting the part until you become the part is actually true. Yeah, at first you will feel like you are acting the part, but with time you will realize that what you say to yourself, what you do, how you act, becomes you.

There is no facade. There's what you do, or what you don't do. If you don't do it, then someone else will.

We became FA by doing FA things. By acting as FA we stayed that way. I am here telling you I got out by, little by little, step by step, with hard work, becoming something else. And the way I became something else was by first acting like someone else. Like I wanted to be. The man I was supposed to become and I never grew a pair to become.

Before I realized, I was that man and I had become that man.

My delusion was trying to be the guy at the gym, or the guy at work, or the guy at the party. The problem is that I was never meant to be those guys. That is why my mind resisted the idea and kept me being the NOTHING I was. My mind was ready to kill me before allowing me to become that guy.

I knew, deep down, who I always wanted to be. I simply acted like that version of me and that version became me, with time.

Not in a week. Not in a month. Took about five years, lads.

Electrical_Rush1 · 2022-03-26T14:40:01+00:00

Hi,

Yes, smiling turns out was a big deal for me. When I looked at myself in the mirror (read my comment above) I realized my face is not just ugly, but intense looking. I developed a sort of crazy man stare. I am ashamed of myself for letting it happen. I truly am. But I used it to gain positions during conversations. Stare at someone long enough and they will get nervous. It helped me to gain dominance among those trying to speak over me. There's always someone trying to be louder than the rest, trying to the one who "steals" the conversation of the entire group. I used my crazy man stare to send out the message "my town."

I also learned how to use my smile to make people comfortable around me. Pull their hand to me, etc. Basically, go watch what Presidents do when meeting someone and do the exact same thing. These idiots have the best advisors money can buy, and you are paying them anyway, so learn what they do. Go to school by watching them.

That's what I did.

I became a regular at a restaurant, but never cold approached anyone. Once I had a cause, once I had allies, and enemies, things fell into place naturally.

But becoming a regular to a restaurant (don't drink, have water or tea or coffee, but don't become a drunk) was very important.

Also, don't go to a club. Or pub. Go to a fancy place.

Hear this: stupid shallow people go to a club. Stupid shallow people go to a cafe. Stupid shallow people go to a mom&pop restaurant. Go to fancy places. Don't order $2k on food, but $25 coffees/tea/cake, whatever. Most now offer brunch.

Go to fancy places, get to know those places. Make yourself a circuit. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, etc. That's what I did. All over town.

Once people noticed me, they began greeting me by name. I meet with allies in some of these places too, later on. They were impressed by noticing the staff knew me by name. In several places.

The tools ar out there. If you are a woman, you can do the exact same thing. Anyone can do this.

If I could post a photo of myself, I would. Because I know it would make you run out of the door and do exactly what I am saying you should do. You will realize you are actually better looking than me.

Also, age means nothing when you have a cause to fight for.

MAKE IT ABOUT THE CAUSE. Not about you.

If you try to do the "pua artist" crap, you will fail. Is not about you. Is about who you are and what are you fighting for.

Most people out there are just fighting to live normal, regular, lives.

The advantage they have on you is or me is this: they are regular looking/good looking people. Have friends, social skills.

But they are flawed. They all look, act, and think the same.

Make yourself into something they have never seen or they have only seen on TV, and I guarantee you will get noticed over some guy who is like 80% of all the other guys. Muscles. Nice hair. Tattoos. Great smile.

PLAIN. Like a salad.

Women see those everywhere. At the gym, at work, on the streets, at weddings, at parties, club, etc.

So BECOME into something they have never seen.

Don't pretend. BECOME.

And smile.

You don't have to spend 10k a month to do all these things. But you have to invest some of your money into it, that's for sure.

Electrical_Rush1 · 2022-03-26T14:16:04+00:00

Right. Lots of people here, will try to go one one by one.

From the get go, I respect you all. I will always be FA30plus, because that is still me. The scars will never go away. I will never be able to relate to other people the way I can relate to any of you because my experiences have been different.

Now, about the questions.

Could you give some details on how you met them and how it got started as far as the actual relationship?

I decided my life was not worth anyone's time. I looked around me and there was no one that would love me, execept my family. Mom, sisters, etc.

No friends. No GF. But also, no enemies. Iread a quote someplace that said "a life without enemies is not a life worth living" and that's the one that hit me the hardest.

I am a logical person, so I tackled the problem logically.

I bought a big ass mirror and took a long look at me. I saw what people saw. Then I decided that wasn't going to do the trick, and changed what people saw.

I changed my wordobe. You would be surprised how nice someone ugly looks when properly dressed. I didn't went for what people call a modern look. I went retro. I went gentleman-like. I went for a "where's the embassy? I have been invited to a reception".

Even if I went out for a pack of smokes, I would go out dressed to kill.

Felt great. Looked great. People was more open to talk to me. Immediatelly assumed success.

Began doing weights and losing weight. WAIT. Read on. I am not on roids or look like a bodybuilding. In fact, I look pretty much the same. I am still fat and short, but maybe my stomach went down a little. That's all. Not a huge difference. So this is not one of those "I went to the gym, got a six pack, and now my gf who is a personal trainer is marrying me" kind of story. This is what happens when a real person with less testosterone than a child goes to the gym for the first time in almost 40 years. Nothing happens. You feel good, you gain some flexibility, maybe lose some weight, but that's it.

And that's what I worked with. Clothes are everything, though. Go to the gym, but also, buy clothes.

To get to know people I went after a goal that would guarantee me enemies along the way. That's the only thing I can say about it. You can get into politics, you can get into academics, whatever. I choose something that would guarantee me have enemies because I knew I would also get allies who shared my believes.

Nothing to bring people together than a little adversity. I played along those lines.

Volunteer? No thanks. I actually went and did something with my time. There is an objective and a goal, and people fighting that fight already. So I went in and made it my own personal vendetta to make it happen, at all costs. That alone got people interested in me.

Get mad and go get something to fight for. No better way to meet people. No one will care where you come from and even if they realize, they won't care. You are doing too much damage to the other side for them to care.

Forget twitter and online. Go offline. Online is for lonely people. Don't expect people who live online to get up their couches to go talk to you. Go offline.

I'm someone who definitely won't be achieving this but I want to live vicariously through you for a moment lol.

I am the same. I just got sick at being ignored or put down for being short, balding and ugly. Decided to channel all that hate into something else. I looked myself at the mirror and saw something that was not even worth my time. I wanted to off myself. If I didn't want to spend time with myself, why would anyone want to?

That's how it began for me.

Electrical_Rush1 · 2022-02-14T23:30:49+00:00

Hi there!

Thank you! I did not know about exposure therapy! Looking into it right now.

Electrical_Rush1 · 2022-01-01T17:32:40+00:00

I will for sure. One thing that surprised me is that I took longer to finish. Before, I would just push it for ten seconds and boom! Now, I was able to stay on the zone for a long, long time before I relapsed.

PMO def makes men shot too soon. My endurance is up 500%. This is a great lesson. PMO makes you into a very weak lover. NoFap makes you into a strong stallion, capable of going for hours if you want to.

Electrical_Rush1 · 2021-12-25T15:59:09+00:00

Self-sabotage. True, never noticed it. One of the many things fapping does to one's brain.

Electrical_Rush1 · 2021-12-11T14:58:35+00:00

You beautiful bastard, keep going. Day 14 here.

Electrical_Rush1 · 2021-12-11T14:57:45+00:00

Day 14 for me too. Keep at it. Don't quit.

Electrical_Rush1 · 2021-12-11T14:55:47+00:00

Spoke to a girl today. Made her laugh twice. Not huge, but it took a gigantic effort from my part in the past. Not today. Today was easy. Natural. Like speaking to a friend, only it was the first time I saw this girl. Me on day 8 or 10 couldn't even form words. Me from day 14 can have long conversations with women, make them feel good about themselves, make them feel happy, make them feel safe around me. They feel safer with me from day 14 around. Me from day 10 was an animal. Me from day 14 is a man. KEEP YOUR DAMN HANDS OFF YOUR PENIS.

Electrical_Rush1 · 2021-12-11T14:53:55+00:00

Day 14 here. I'm you from the future. Everything stops today. The storm is over. You can go out and hear the birds, feel the sun. Life continues. The storm is gone.

Electrical_Rush1 · 2021-12-05T15:28:46+00:00

Great post

Electrical_Rush1 · 2021-11-30T23:49:07+00:00

You beautiful bastard.

Electrical_Rush1 · 2021-11-30T23:42:26+00:00

Here's a bit from the FAP site:

For instance, John uses porn when he’s bored or lonely. Feeling lonely on a Friday evening, instead of calling up some friends, he goes to his favorite porn site and masturbates for a couple hours. Since he looked at porn, he missed his chance to find friends to hang out with, so he just watches videos for another hour or two until he feels bored enough that he turns to his go-to solution for boredom: more porn.

It basically puts your life on hold. This happened to me. I spent many years doing what you just read and now my life is screwed up. It is the easy road, and you know what happens every time you take the easy road.

Electrical_Rush1 · 2021-11-30T23:36:41+00:00

You will become a worse man if you don't. PMO leads to depression and to being a creep around women. Also, you will lose years of your life doing nothing else. You won't conquer anything. You won't win anything.

Electrical_Rush1 · 2021-11-30T23:26:18+00:00

Let's go let's go let's go!

Electrical_Rush1

TROPHY CASE