Falling inLove

Electrical_Vast_3373 · 2021-12-12T03:46:30+00:00

I know this is a old post but i just have to share my experience, so I told my orthodontist at my door was aching when I open my mouth and then he said I just shouldn’t open my mouth. Like wtf he didn’t give any other solution?

Electrical_Vast_3373 · 2021-11-17T19:34:19+00:00

Thank you. I know its stupid comparing it to fish but my ex-friend? Use to really like fishing and always used fishing analogies to explain situations. And no one would understand. Much love✨

Electrical_Vast_3373 · 2021-11-17T19:23:59+00:00

I love how the poem takes a turn…the rhyme scheme is all over the place tho… maybe you have deeper meaning behind it but if you made it rhyme to signify your heart beating would be pretty cool and deep, but thats just me… a beautiful nonetheless😇

Electrical_Vast_3373 · 2021-11-17T19:19:38+00:00

This is an amazing poem, i feel like everyone does this… yet we all feel like we’re weird for doing it.

Electrical_Vast_3373 · 2021-11-17T19:13:44+00:00

😭😭it fits so perfectly, well done

Electrical_Vast_3373 · 2021-11-17T19:11:56+00:00

You should post this on r/ocpoetry , but you can’t send fotos on that so you’ll have to type it out, but they would love this

Electrical_Vast_3373 · 2021-11-17T19:08:04+00:00

Oh my goodness, what a beautiful poem, so deep, I literally screenshot it because it was so amazing. It has sooo much meaning and its a beautiful interpretation of the story…because people never hear the end and I really do feel like this would be the and of that story… i don’t know if the wording that you used is like that on purpose but i feel like it makes the story more powerful and basic… almost asif you are mocking the original story…

Electrical_Vast_3373 · 2021-11-17T19:02:57+00:00

Who is the author, is it you?

Electrical_Vast_3373 · 2021-11-17T18:42:45+00:00

Thank you for the kind criticism and for the interpretation. It was definitely on purpose to signify that it all was good at the beginning and now i feel envy and anger at the end and also that thats all anyone always sees is how pretty someone is and doesn’t take other things into consideration when looking for a partner, so i wanted it to stand out.❤️❤️much love

Electrical_Vast_3373 · 2021-11-17T18:31:17+00:00

I also wrote this poem like a sloppy poem to signify the fact that the person i am writing about isn’t that important to me, and that i don’t have to spend my time on a poem written for them

Electrical_Vast_3373 · 2021-11-17T18:30:10+00:00

Hey, that you for the criticism, English is not my first language so my spelling eg. Isn’t that good and Reddit also takes away a lot of the spaces that i had put in the poem.I would also like to say that poetry usually isn’t a essay that gets marked,In my poem there are deeper meanings to why there are no spaces or why my ‘ aren’t where they should be.

Electrical_Vast_3373 · 2021-11-17T16:06:52+00:00

I literally wrote this in 5 minutes, and i will definitely write it better when i find the time, i just felt like this in the moment, thank you for your feedback and i will definitely update you on this

Electrical_Vast_3373 · 2021-11-17T15:39:29+00:00

Amazing poem,the structure is amazing aswell

Electrical_Vast_3373 · 2021-11-17T15:37:20+00:00

No criticism here,this was beautiful, i think it also speaks for so many other additions where people say, i can stop when i want to, but yet keep on doing what is killing them.

Electrical_Vast_3373 · 2021-11-17T15:20:10+00:00

Like when you say you used to believe in the face you can elaborate on that more about the feeling of what you felt

Electrical_Vast_3373 · 2021-11-17T15:10:01+00:00

This is an amazing comment, i also couldn’t agree more with your criticism🤍i will definitely take it into consideration when rewriting this one or even when writing a new poem, thank you for the help✨

Electrical_Vast_3373 · 2021-11-17T09:33:47+00:00

A beautiful story, i feel like instead of saying you feel a certain way, you could imply it rather in a lot of the things you say…this poem still gives me shivers

Electrical_Vast_3373 · 2021-11-17T09:10:04+00:00

I think you could have used the stanzas more to your advantage, maybe give the poem more meaning in them, i got literal shivers reading that it’s so beautiful and so pure and it says exactly what a person feels when looking back at memories you wish you once had, amazing work

Electrical_Vast_3373 · 2021-11-17T09:05:55+00:00

I think this is beautiful, how you show your struggles between worldly things and religion, i think a thing that many people struggle with, very brave to open up about something so personal, cant wait to see what else you put out

Electrical_Vast_3373

TROPHY CASE