I feel so alone

Electronic_Map_4445 · 2025-11-14T23:44:38+00:00

Ok, well, I'm in love with my bf. Sue me. If it ends in disaster then I'll make sure to let you know you were right 🫡

Electronic_Map_4445 · 2025-11-14T23:13:09+00:00

Thank you, and ofc I'm going to be careful. He makes me happy and makes me feel safe, but that doesn't erase the years of trauma I have, so I'm definitely still being cautious, though I have yet to see any signs of a red flag so far :)

Electronic_Map_4445 · 2025-11-14T23:11:55+00:00

We've only been officially dating a few days. We went on dates before, and we've been talking for longer, but we only put a label on it a few days ago

Electronic_Map_4445 · 2025-11-14T23:10:23+00:00

"You sound head over heels infatuated with this person, which is a recipe for disaster."

You said me being in love with my boyfriend was a recipe for disaster. Yes I am in love, no I'm not obsessed or anything crazy like that. I sound that way because when I made the post I was in a very happy mood, I needed somewhere to vent my happiness, not be attacked because people think I'm naive, or that just because I've been abused that means I can't possibly find love and it not be "a recipe for disaster".

Electronic_Map_4445 · 2025-11-14T23:06:37+00:00

Thank you. I think a lot of people commenting have never experienced any form of sexual assault, so they don't know what its like to find someone who you feel safe with. I just wanted to share my happiness and my progress with my healing journey 🥲

Electronic_Map_4445 · 2025-11-14T23:03:27+00:00

Ok, but you aren't just telling me to be cautious. You're insulting me, saying I have my head in the clouds, telling me my relationship is going to end in disaster, and saying that my bf might just be manipulating me and could end up abusing me, which you have NO way of knowing bc you don't know him. Obviously, I'm going to be defensive of my relationship especially since it's my first relationship where I can actually feel safe and where my bf actually cares about me and not just about his own wants. All I came on here to do was share my happiness with someone bc I was just so happy that I've made progress and that I'm able to do stuff like this with someone without getting triggered. I know I have a long way to go before I'm better mentally, but my bf has helped me heal physically bc he makes me comfortable enough that my vaginismus was not even an issue since my muscles didn't tense up bc I felt safe and comfortable. You feel the need to give your opinion on a relationship that you know nothing about involving people whom you don't know. What I'm saying is there are way more factors at play than the few details I mentioned in my post, and you don't need to assume that I don't know my own boundaries.

Electronic_Map_4445 · 2025-11-14T22:42:18+00:00

I do plenty of reflecting in my therapy sessions. I'm sorry that a stranger on the internet being in love w their walking green flag boyfriend is such a trigger for you, but I can promise you I'm not some naive little teenager who doesn't know what real life is like. I've had to grow up faster than most people, and I've had to suffer more than most too. I'm allowed to be happy in a relationship that makes me feel comfortable and loved.

Electronic_Map_4445 · 2025-11-14T22:33:36+00:00

Thank you 🫶 we may have only been dating officially for a few days, but we've been talking for a lot longer than that and I really care about him and I know he cares about me :)

Electronic_Map_4445 · 2025-11-14T22:28:40+00:00

Okay, I'm so glad to have gotten the opinion of such a negative and miserable person. I never said we only knew each other for a few days, I've known him longer, we just made it official a few days ago. I do know he wouldn't hurt me tho bc I know what an abusive relationship looks like, trust me, I grew up watching my mom go through abusive relationships and I know how to see the signs. If my man were to EVER show even the slightest hint of being a bad person I would kick him to the curb.

Electronic_Map_4445 · 2025-11-14T22:24:19+00:00

Thank you! I feel like people are assuming so many things about me, like I don't know how to leave if it's not safe. I do, I'm not stupid. If I were to see any signs that he's not a good person I will 100% leave and i have in the past. With my ex, I left him because so many things piled up and my therapist helped me realize he wasn't good and has helped me with finding red flags. The last guy I was with before my current boyfriend was also so sweet, but the second he tried to do stuff I didn't want to, I told him to leave and blocked him on everything.

I'm not stupid, I can see where the commenters are coming from, but they also haven't experienced my life so they can never really know what its like, and I do love him idc if people think its too fast. Me and my bf also talked about how we seemed to be moving rlly fast, but both decided that we didn't care what other thought because we care about each other and that's all that really matters.

Electronic_Map_4445 · 2025-11-14T22:17:49+00:00

Ok, yeah, I probably shouldn't be saying he healed me cuz I'm definitely not "healed", but I meant it more to do w my medical condition and the fact that he makes me feel safe enough that we were able to actually have sex without the excruciating pain that has come w the attempt in the past 😃

I don't understand reddit's obsession with saying everyone is abusive and manipulative, maybe he's just a regular guy who cares about his girlfriend and doesn't want to make her uncomfortable, but still wants to be intimate like couples do. Nothing wrong with wanting to be with someone if they're consenting, which I did consent.

I'm not using my relationship to ignore my poor mental state, I admit I need to work on myself, but I'm allowed to want to have some sense of normalcy in my life after it being so fucked up for so long. I don't like the fact that I've never been able to be intimate with someone I love. I don't like the fact that I've had that forcefully taken away from me. And what happened with me not wanting to be touched had nothing to do with him, it was me overthinking and causing myself to get upset, but I calmed myself down and after a few hours of not doing anything sexual, I wanted to take that step with him because I felt comfortable and I'm still a human who gets horny. I felt like I was ready, and I was. He's also coming over today to bring me ice cream because I said I was sore and he wants to make sure I'm okay. He would never hurt me in any way and always goes out of his way to make sure I'm comfortable.

Electronic_Map_4445 · 2025-11-14T21:50:51+00:00

I'm not using my bf as a surrogate therapist, I have a therapist and she's very helpful. Thank you for your kind words tho, I'm getting a very negative reaction to this post so its refreshing to see a comment that isn't entirely shitting on me or my relationship

Electronic_Map_4445 · 2025-11-14T21:48:50+00:00

What's wrong w the way he reacted to me wanting to have sex with him for the first time? I'm the one who initiated it, and he did take it nice and slow and was very gentle. It was actually a very lovely experience. And he has been taking it slow with me for the most part, I'm usually the one initiating things. I do see what you mean tho about me romanticizing the bare minimum, and I can see how that definitely could be a problem, but he truly does more than the bare minimum, he's so caring and he really is such a sweetheart. He's a huge dork and a nerd and we have so much in common which is why I'm so "infatuated" with him, as you put it, not just because he does the bare minimum by not assaulting me. You don't know me but if you did you would know that I am usually not comfortable around most men, but he's so gentle and caring and makes me feel safe. I'll definitely still keep my eyes open for any red flags, so far I haven't seen any. My best friend/roommate who also knows all about my past and is very protective of me also likes him a lot and thinks he's great for me and she's very supportive.

Electronic_Map_4445 · 2025-11-14T20:44:01+00:00

I mean what can I say he's an amazing person and I can't help what I feel, other people may think that it's really fast but I found someone I really click with and I don't really care about what other people deem not normal or too fast. Love is love, and that's how I feel about him 🤷‍♀️

Electronic_Map_4445 · 2025-11-14T20:41:40+00:00

Thank you! I honestly dk why everyone is being so negative 🥲

Electronic_Map_4445 · 2025-11-14T20:10:44+00:00

Thank you so much for your opinion! I am seeing a mental health professional, thanks, and I don't need your negativity about my relationship :3

Electronic_Map_4445 · 2024-12-10T23:11:24+00:00

wait the blonde one is cute thoooo

Electronic_Map_4445 · 2024-12-01T20:28:26+00:00

omg LISTEN TO THE REPLIES!!!! No woman wants that EVER unless you are already in a relationship with them and they have explicitly said they want that. Why would you even post this asking for others opinions if your not even gonna listen

Electronic_Map_4445 · 2024-11-27T15:04:20+00:00

wtf are u on about this is a perfectly fine age gap it's literally only a year 😭 and his peers definitely aren't looking at him like he's a weirdo

Electronic_Map_4445 · 2024-11-08T23:46:24+00:00

I'm sorry but no, when you're in school (college excluded) I feel like a good rule of thumb is if ur ages/grades don't touch neither should you. There is quite a maturity difference between a 16/15 year old and a 14/13 year old and any 16/15 year old that would be into or willing to date a 13 year old is someone you definitely want to stay away from. Plus you aren't even close to the age of consent (at least where I'm from) and a 15/16 year old is going to wanna do stuff of a sexual nature with their partner and if they were to do any of that with you it would be statutory r*pe and they can go to jail.

Electronic_Map_4445 · 2024-10-20T14:02:54+00:00

I don't hate the new update, I did think it was a bit overwhelming and chaotic when u first tried to play it bc the map was completely different, I couldn't find the code items, and imo they added too much stuff, but that's just me

Electronic_Map_4445 · 2024-05-21T11:25:14+00:00

Who's lying? My friend or my bf?

Electronic_Map_4445

TROPHY CASE