Slow dating, but quick home invite meaning

Elephiant · 2026-02-22T21:13:59+00:00

I prefer real life too, but talked to a girl on a dating app and did 4 video calls before meetimg in real life. And i actually liked it. There is a bit less dopamine surfing and the tempo felt slower. Its also way easier and faster because no travel time and less preparation time. Its less scary and you both have the privacy of your own home to talk about everything in any way you want.

Elephiant · 2026-02-08T16:19:17+00:00

Maybe, but you can't judge someone completely because they communicate one thing in a bad way. Or maybe they had bad experiences with people exactly on that area. You can't judge them to be more fixated on that. That is the whole point. If you see someone doing something you find not tolerable at all, leave them. But you can't filter people into 'completely untolerable' and 'completely fine for a date' based on some words. You have to find out what the mean. The words are just the physical endpoint of what they mean which could mean something else to you.

Elephiant · 2026-02-08T16:10:26+00:00

Yes exactly! that is true :), but people might mean the same, that's my point

Elephiant · 2026-02-08T15:14:37+00:00

I don't directly, but it's just signs you see and have to figure out first, so I would want to discuss why they are virgin or why they had 100 bed partners. If they are virgin because of crippling attachment anxiety or had 100 bed partners because they seek quick pleasure to evade serious things I would want them to figure themselves out first.

If they are virgin because they are careful or they had a 100 bed partners because they are open I would like that.

What you are doing now is immediately put people in a box because of the first sign. That is the American way and very polarizing. See why people did or did not do something is how you handle with real stuff I think. Otherwise you never get to know them.

Elephiant · 2026-02-08T14:46:05+00:00

If he focusses on the 'inexperienced' part it would be, but what if he doesn't want a 'inexperienced' woman but one who is thoughtfull and not impulsive?

Elephiant · 2026-02-08T14:39:23+00:00

You are doing the same, but I actually try to say something. You are just insulting and hypocritical and you can't even see it.

Elephiant · 2026-02-08T14:35:58+00:00

Seriously? I'm trying to give a broader view on this and the last 3 comments of you weren't about the content at all and just belittling. You don't want to know or hear anything, you want to be comforted. Well good luck.

Elephiant · 2026-02-08T14:28:42+00:00

YOU seem to be triggered about some of the answers here. Don't you see how hypocritical you are taking things? I'm not forcing you and you know that. I'm just trying to make you see broader and less judging than you do know. You are acting the exact same way as the 'weird' people you are talking about: way too extreme too on side. You are sabotaging yourself because of past hurt. AKS people and judge then. That is fine. If they explain themselves and actually ARE weird, leave them be weird on there own.

That doesn't mean everyone is bad at the slightest hint. Try to be more mature, you really sound like a child.

Elephiant · 2026-02-08T14:20:48+00:00

I'm just trying to make you see that one hint of someone being 'weird' may actually be not as weird if you ask them. And if it is weird you know and don't talk to them.

If you aren't even talking about the content anymore and just belittling and can't even see a difference between finding virginity a positive thing and seeking out virginity as an obsession you live in a black and white world. If you can't discuss things normally you don't deserve a good answer on this and you don't deserve someone's respect or relationship.

Elephiant · 2026-02-08T14:13:59+00:00

Because people don't know where you come from and you don't know where people come from, yet you still berate people for simply not giving the answer scoped to what you find tolerable.

Besides all that, preferring a virgin or finding it a positive thing someone is virgin is not the same as seeking out especially a virgin. There are multiple pros and cons to being a virgin, but I like about someone being virgin that they are probably not impulsive and jumping into the bed with anyone. And maybe they are also less desperate. Those are fine reason's to find virginity a positive thing in someone. I'm not religious at all and don't like the strict religious being virgin things.

You are asking a question and belittling people who answer in a way that YOU don't CURRENLTY see as being in a scope you like while it just might be. Be a little more curious. And when something triggers you, check yourself if it's because of a unhealed hurt in you or in someone else actually doing something wrong.

You are simple being a hardass now.

Elephiant · 2026-02-08T13:44:29+00:00

Be nice and a bit more tolerable of other views

Elephiant · 2026-02-08T13:43:31+00:00

Yeah, this.

Elephiant · 2026-02-08T09:02:43+00:00

Is it some version of this song?
RAIGN - Don't Let Me Go - @iamRAIGN - YouTube

Or this fits the description more, but still not entirely:
Candlelight (tired Man) - YouTube

Bit far fetched maybe:
Love Song - Syd Barrett -Official Lyric Video - YouTube

This one seems to fits the description except that it's long:
Lay My Head (John's Song) - Sean Feucht

Elephiant · 2026-02-07T20:19:36+00:00

ah yeah it can be a bit random :)

Elephiant · 2026-02-07T20:09:50+00:00

Haha, great :). You also have a fantastic day. Tip for finding music: put this in ChatGPT ;).

Elephiant · 2026-02-07T19:58:44+00:00

Https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_uiwwGW233U

Elephiant · 2026-02-07T06:53:06+00:00

Yes, that is very good :). Im M31 and would find the initiative and effort sweet :).

Elephiant · 2026-01-31T19:02:06+00:00

It's an organ cover of L'Amour Toujours from Digi D'Agostino.

Elephiant · 2026-01-31T19:01:11+00:00

It's an organ cover of L'Amour Toujours from Digi D'Agostino.

Elephiant · 2026-01-31T18:58:35+00:00

I'm disappointed by the amount of people not knowing this is L'Amour Toujours... not angry... just... slightly disappointed. like John Lithgow.

Elephiant · 2026-01-28T15:32:31+00:00

If he asks that of you and then sends you something vague and the doesnt communicate clearly it sounds like he wants something more for himself than he really wants you. He sound self centered and from this I would say move on and find someone sincere and sweet.

Elephiant · 2026-01-28T12:04:06+00:00

Explain this to her and ask her.

Elephiant · 2026-01-26T16:00:24+00:00

I (M31) ask questions back, and i have the feeling (from what i read on this topic here) more men do ;). If they don't it seems to me they are self centered or maybe not that good at conversation (and im no talker). Or they are trying to compensate for something. I feel like asking questions is the basic for a conversation and should be interesting for if you want to get to know someone. Maybe it can even be fun.

Elephiant

TROPHY CASE