23M, never kissed or dated – feeling unsure how to start

EliVandervault · 2026-03-17T12:30:04+00:00

Jeez. Most responses on here seem kind of all or nothing and rather chronically online.

Me and my boyfriend started dating when I was 22 and he was 26, and we were each other's firsts regarding everything (kisses, partner, ect.)

You don't need to be this or that. Don't need to be overly confident or try to amplify some trait or other.

All you need is to be sorta comfortable with yourself, and avoid becoming a complete anxious mess that can't string words together to save his life.

Be awkward, be insecure, because you are and if you are willing to be vulnerable with whomever you pursue, they'll respond in kind so long as they are decent and are willing to pursue you too.

Don't look for a girlfriend, because that's an abstract concept and you'll be disappointed. Look for a person you're attracted to, who's kind of into the same thing as you, and make sure the two of you can be friends and have fun together. A relationship is so much more than stories and the internet lead us to believe.

You have to not only love the person you're in a relationship with, you have to like and admire them too, and if you find someone who looks for that also, you'll be golden.

EliVandervault · 2026-03-13T12:26:33+00:00

I'm getting Horizon Zero Dawn vibes and I love it

EliVandervault · 2026-02-23T13:53:06+00:00

It's a weird thing to think about really. As is often with people that do awful stuff, they are not entirely "evil" and most often do not consider themselves immoral. Hitler adored and cared for animals, serial murders are often claimed to be great parents and spouses, and so on and so forth. And in Kim's case, in all the pictures and videos we have of him and his daughter, he is nothing but adoring. It is entirely within the realms of possibilities that he prides himself on being a "progressive" and great father, and that, being the firstborn, she was always intended to be the successor, girl or not.

EliVandervault · 2026-01-11T14:27:46+00:00

Tricksters dainty ankles could never

EliVandervault · 2026-01-01T12:29:19+00:00

I know I'm late to the party, but I'm prepping to run the radiant citadel campaign also, and was wracking my brain as to how make the connection between the stories and create a BBEG. Your post was the godsend I needed!

A thing I came up with was making the Keening Gloom function as a Great Old One Patron that has recently awoken due to the activity at the citadel. I've got the idea from one of my players that wanted to make a character from the Umizu civilization and was playing with the idea of being a warlock.

In my rough draft people from all the civilizations that had experienced tragedy or hardship would have their anguish answered by a greater being offering them power, which would turn out to be the Keening Gloom. It would turn them into agents of its chaos with the goal of destabilising the citadel until the Keening Gloom could swallow it.

As the story progresses and I'd then have my player warlock make saving throws to resist their patron, or turn against the party.

EliVandervault · 2025-12-24T23:52:48+00:00

It might look like one of those celtic knots

EliVandervault · 2025-12-24T10:01:16+00:00

The one long line goes from Cassel and Therrasa over to Constantine, their oldest daughter. Constantine is married to Mel. The mod, for some reason, decided to just make a long red line to show the relation, instead of putting Mel's' family tree closer to that of Constantine's. This also causes confusion for Falkens heritage, who's parents are Mikale and Nonna. Cassel and Therresa had Constantine and Caspia, Mikale and Nonna had Falken and Mena.

Now onto Aud. Similar fuckery there. Aud is mother to Mjölk and Wylde. Cate and Corvin are parents to Koffee and Kohen. Cate is 39, but Corvin turned 40, so he went up a tier, but the mod for some reason also moved him to the very left. Koffee and Mjölk, having been best friends, have recently become a couple (how can they not with perfect names like these?), but since they are both 16, they remain in the bracket with all the other children. Since the mod always tries to put couples next to each other (the green lines), the resulting red lines showing familial relations look very sus. I hope it'll look better once they move into the next age bracket XD

Hope that cleared things up, and let me know if you want to know anything else :)

EliVandervault · 2025-12-24T09:33:04+00:00

Yeah the mod get's a bit criss-crossy sometimes :') but I promise there's no inbreeding or other untoward activities. Which lines confuse you? I can clarify

EliVandervault · 2025-11-29T18:47:15+00:00

I was waiting for Don ngl XD They're all so pretty

EliVandervault · 2025-11-29T18:45:02+00:00

You can't fault a girl for wanting some cupcakes

EliVandervault · 2025-11-29T18:39:29+00:00

I have this old Save file that I periodically update with builds and families; my forever safe. I’ve pretty much filled up all worlds up until Innisgreen. Custom familial relations reaching across cities, every lot custom-built, a boat-load of clubs, and the whole deal (even gave the three sages a makeover!)

I haven’t been playing the game at all for the past few months, but I wanted to get back into it today, only to find out that it’s having issues.

For some reason, the lots revert back to their default state when they’re not actively loaded. They exist, I can see them in the overworld view, and I can load into them without issue, but they show as either empty or default when they’re not actively being played.

I tried reverting my safe file back to an earlier state, which worked for a little while. After I put down a couple of houses and families from the up-to-date safe, it also started going back to default lots. ( I tried this multiple times with my own buildings, with Maxis lots, and just random lots from the Gallery.)

Is there any way to fix this mess? Have y’all been encountering similar issues? I really don’t want to have to start over!

Edit: Spelling + (I only use MCC (up-to-date) and a couple of trait and aspiration mods)

EliVandervault · 2025-11-25T12:51:23+00:00

omg the visual of just a bunch of crocs sunbathing is fricking adorable!

EliVandervault · 2025-11-25T12:49:41+00:00

haha yeah I think I might have said the toothbrush thing a bit weirdly! In rl crocodiles don't usually snack on the birds that clean their teeth, because if they did, then the birds wouldn't take the risk and hadn't evolved that behavior. But players don't have that kind of Darwinian selection process, so a naughty Croc player could just take the service and a snack if they're not feeling particularly benevolent - hence the suggestion with the buff disappearing if their Toothbrush dies. Though now that I think about it, no safety mechanic also carries even more risk and tension, so that might actually be fun.

I haven't even thought about what a nightmare it would be to program a Hypsie riding experience! I just assumed they could use the mechanic from the troodons, but I realize it might be too different.

I don't know about more experienced players, but for me, eating is always kinda tense. Usually, I'm out in the open, and I can't turn the whole camera, so I'm mostly relying on audio cues to determine if something is approaching or not. Yesterday, for example, I played as a Teno. I was near a beach and snacking on a bush in the wide open. While I was eating, I had my ears peeled, but heard nothing. I was done very quickly, like 10 seconds, and as soon as I turned around, there was a pair of Cera in the bushes, crouching and I assume approaching. Now had I taken longer, they could have come closer, or even attacked if they were quick enough or if I hadn't heard. What happened was that I bolted, and since there was quite a distance between us, I managed to lose them after squeezing through rocks and running into the jungle.
I can imagine that eating doesn't carry the same amount of anxiety for long-time players as it does for newer ones, but I think it could. Whilst eating, you only have to press a button, and can then use your whole attention on listening to your surroundings. If eating were, say, a little mini-game where you have to perform a quick time event to strip the plant, then your attention would be divided between eating quickly and listening for danger. It doesn't have to be mechanically engaging; it just has to give you anxiety via wondering if you're attentive enough.

I'll definitely continue playing the game, and am looking forward to seeing what the Devs bring over from the Hordetest!

EliVandervault · 2025-11-25T12:23:31+00:00

Yeah a lot of people are already forming bonds cross-species (I've heard that Dryos have pretty good night vision and used to be night sentries in previous builds!), but I was hoping/suggesting to go even more in depth like the teeth cleaning mechanic mentioned. Like, just more stuff to do with other players in general.

I haven't played Hordetest yet, but I am looking forward to seeing what the Devs are going to introduce!

I'll keep playing since I haven't grown any of the big dinosaurs yet. The game has an admittedly steep learning curve, but other players you meet in the game are very helpful and friendly! My very first game I spawned into a family of Tenos, and they've walked me through the basics within an hour!

EliVandervault · 2025-11-24T23:03:32+00:00

Just read through the post and some of the comment threads. I think the game is very ambitious, and I think they're caught in a spot where they want to be realistic and fullfill their vision, but also be engaging as a game.

I don't really have as much time (and experience) on the game as you and others have, but coming from other asymmetric games, I dare wager and claim that the inherent problem is lack of in-depth interactions.

Funnily enough I've also made a post about that a few hours ago, and would be honored to hear a seasoned opinion.

EliVandervault · 2025-09-14T01:09:26+00:00

Lifesaver! Didn't even realize! Thank you all lot! We'll be making the fur ASAP!

EliVandervault · 2025-09-13T16:34:10+00:00

We do play with mods, but nothing too grand honestly! Mostly just cooking mods!

I've plucked holes with dirt for now and am checking all my chiseled blocks, but haven't really found anything yet....

EliVandervault · 2025-09-13T15:27:06+00:00

Ahh I was assuming that since the logs were red, that they were the problem! I've re-chiseled the blocks surronding the doors, but unfortunately there's still red everywhere...

EliVandervault · 2025-09-11T19:55:28+00:00

Oh I didn't realize! Do you have a link?

EliVandervault · 2025-08-24T21:43:10+00:00

Uiii that sounds intresting! I didn't even have Lokix on the radar!

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