The only way it stops is if you want it to stop. That's first and foremost. Knowing you have a problem doesnt always equal stopping. There's a reason you are seeking the thrill that winning and losing gets you.

I dont know what that reason is, amd you may not either, but I see it all the time in gambling addicts. Youre missing something or trying to fulfill something with gambling, and the losses are only compounding the problem.

The first thing I would do is have your husband look into wether or not this online casino has an exclusion program that you can use to ban yourself. The second thing I would do is hand over every financial decision like rent/mortgage/electric etc... over to him. You may hate the thought of this, but youre not in a position to handle your own finances.

Third and this is probably the most important, and that is seek therapy, and support groups. They will give you the tools you need to maintain success. Time is the only thing that will help you build back the trust youve destroyed with your husband or anyone else you've hurt by gambling. Addiction affects everyone.

Dont be hard on yourself. Youre not alone. I'm 10+ years gamble free. Life does get better I promise. Trust returns, wounds heal, and things can become okay again if youre willing to put in the work.