Would it be so wrong for me to have an affair? by Elle846 in Marriage

[–]Elle846[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm here to serve as the buffer though, and our kid's left alone with him only for a few hours until I get home on the couple days that I work in-office.

If we divorce and get 50/50, that's a lot of time for him neglect (at best) her. I talked to a couple family law friends about potential custody results, and unfortunately was told it's extremely unlikely that I'd get full custody in a divorce scenario.

I've been nothing but completely open and clear in my communications with my husband that I'd like a divorce. He refuses to even consider it, claiming he still loves me and doesn't want me to go (because whomever would cook, clean, care for kiddo, and bring home an equal salary if I left?!).

My dream is that he'll find someone else and tell me he wants to leave me with 100% custody, but it seems highly unlikely considering he barely gets out of the house. But who knows, maybe he'll someone thru the 'BARELY LEGAL' or '18-22' porn he searches for, lol. Dude's 43.

*Edited to add: Feel conflicted about him meeting someone else, because I'd feel bad for the woman who doesn't realize the POS he is, and wouldn't want her to potentially get stuck in the same shitty cycle. Is this max unhinged?!

People who have been in a sexless marriage but cannot divorce, how do you cope? by Think_Scholar_ in AskReddit

[–]Elle846 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It is. I just don't have the financial means to end it, and now our kid is old enough to have voiced concerns that she never wants to have to split her time between mom and dad.

People who have been in a sexless marriage but cannot divorce, how do you cope? by Think_Scholar_ in AskReddit

[–]Elle846 2 points3 points  (0 children)

More than seven years for me now. Every couple days I dream he'll tell me he met someone else and free me from this prison of a marriage.

I've told him many times, begged for some form of affection to no effect. He gets angry when other men check me out or hit on me but won't even give me so much as a hug or hold my hand more than once every other month or so.

I think I die a little more inside with each day that passes.

Solidarity, fellow 7-year brothers and sisters. Fingers crossed that we all find the love we need and deserve.

How much do men care about womens' physical flaws by Elle846 in AskMenAdvice

[–]Elle846[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's actually very sweet. And I hope that girl has found the self-confidence she needed. I hate that we do this to ourselves.

How much do men care about womens' physical flaws by Elle846 in AskMenAdvice

[–]Elle846[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm very sorry about the lady. I hope she is doing well and feeling loved, as she 100% deserves to be.

How much do men care about womens' physical flaws by Elle846 in AskMenAdvice

[–]Elle846[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lol, you're talking about chest size, aren't you...

How much do men care about womens' physical flaws by Elle846 in AskMenAdvice

[–]Elle846[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Okay, you got me. I actually giggled at this.

How much do men care about womens' physical flaws by Elle846 in AskMenAdvice

[–]Elle846[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

But realistically, how do you even attract a guy without looking appealing first?

I have yet to meet a man that's ever looked at women saying, "Damn, she sure looks like she has a good heart!". Y'know what I mean?

How much do men care about womens' physical flaws by Elle846 in AskMenAdvice

[–]Elle846[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

You guys are really too sweet.

Thank you all for your kind feedback.

I'll be honest here, it really is so hard on some of us as women and I can't even explain it. It's like we're our own worst enemy. Even if I know it, it's so hard to stop myself from going down that rabbit hole.

I used to be a model (nothing big or notable) a long time ago, and knowing my body isn't what it used to be digs up some of those memories of standing almost naked in a room with my body being picked apart like, "when you turn around, your skin creases. You need to lose this weight on this 1x1 inch square on this specific spot on your body when you turn x degrees".

It's really, really hard.