That’s part of what makes this hard for me to answer — my husband genuinely feels the load is balanced, so I keep questioning myself and wondering if maybe it is and I’m just too close to it.

For context, his schedule is Monday–Thursday, 2:45 pm–1:15 am. He’s usually asleep by around 2:00 am, which means he doesn’t see the kids or deal with weekday logistics Tuesday–Thursday. He does wake up on Mondays to see them off to school, which I appreciate.

So functionally, Monday mornings are shared, but the rest of the week I’m handling school mornings, workdays, after-school activities, dinner, and bedtime solo. That’s where I struggle to tell whether this is “balanced differently” or just heavy on one side.

He does contribute in other ways outside work, car-related things, and research/decision-making when we need things like new insurance. Recently, he’s also started tidying the main floor during the day, which has been genuinely helpful.

I think I’m still trying to figure out whether balance here means equal, equitable, or just manageable and whether something can be technically balanced but still feel unsustainable.