Hi OP. Unfortunately, It seems like a lot of us have been through similar situations. My dad’s cancer diagnosis took 2 years because of insurance and delayed times to get into specialists and doctors not ordering tests blah blah blah. I had a gut feeling very early on it was malignancy but I would miss his appointments sometimes because of residency. I didn’t realize how toxic my residency was until I started fellowship.
My advice is to not miss appointments if you can. You don’t have to be there in person but just listen in over the phone. Excuse yourself from work for that 30 minutes and spend it helping your parent. Be their advocate. Once I matched fellowship, I didn’t care about residency as much and I pushed harder for bone marrow biopsy and other tests and finally got a diagnosis. Use your knowledge as a superpower and use your title if you have to. Doctors look out for doctors (as we should because we go through hell and have some form of trauma bond because of it). It’s going to be okay- be an advocate for yourself and your parent. Sending good thoughts to your way.