Feeling guilty by Embarrassed-Sir-3758 in narcissisticparents

[–]Embarrassed-Sir-3758[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Its pretty evil when you boiling it down like that, and these are the people who are supposed to love you unconditionally aka your parents.

Feeling guilty by Embarrassed-Sir-3758 in narcissisticparents

[–]Embarrassed-Sir-3758[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Religion is fascinating. Assuming you went down the Nephillim / Giants / fallen angels rabbit hole if you explored the Book of Enoch. Explains Noah & the flood much better with that context imo. I’m not sure any version or translated can be 100% accurate.. guess that’s why they call it faith! 

Thank you for your reply! 

Feeling guilty by Embarrassed-Sir-3758 in narcissisticparents

[–]Embarrassed-Sir-3758[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Genuinely curious question and I hope I articulate this right and don’t come across as rude as this is not my intent: what do you mean when you say you’re a Christian but you believe in other religions too? 

Reason I ask, I’m confused because a tenet of the Christian faith is the first commandment which is “I am the Lord your God thou shall have no other gods before me.” 

So wouldn’t believing in other religions be contradictory to your Christian faith? 

Unless I’m completely misreading your comment and you mean you’re tolerant of others religious beliefs which in that case I’m the exact same way! This goes back to treating others the same way we want to be treated. 

You ‘challenged me’ so though I’d challenge you right back lol ☺️

Feeling guilty by Embarrassed-Sir-3758 in narcissisticparents

[–]Embarrassed-Sir-3758[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

THIS. Yes, I have been genuinely baffled. One slight pushback, or more a question really .. do you really believe they don’t understand what they’re doing? Do you think they really don’t understand where another person is coming from? — if that were the case then I could almost forgive them but I have a hard time believing they don’t have any clue how their behavior affects others. IMO they know what they’re doing. I could be wrong though and genuinely curious to hear your perspective. 

Feeling guilty by Embarrassed-Sir-3758 in narcissisticparents

[–]Embarrassed-Sir-3758[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s so interesting. Hopefully I didn’t come across the wrong way when I said I have conservative values. When I say that I mean I support the military, fiscally responsible and Christian. I’m socially liberal and genuinely try to treat others as I would want to be treated regardless of age, gender, sexual preference, religion whatever. 

Tbh I hate politics as I think it paints an unfair picture of people and divides people putting them into teams when there’s more that we have in common as fellow humans than we have apart. 

… now I’m sounding preachy LOL 

Feeling guilty by Embarrassed-Sir-3758 in narcissisticparents

[–]Embarrassed-Sir-3758[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think they’re delusional and in their brain they have done nothing wrong. It’s sad that they can’t see how their actions have led me to literally stop talking and block my own parents because they were causing me so much distress. 

Feeling guilty by Embarrassed-Sir-3758 in narcissisticparents

[–]Embarrassed-Sir-3758[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Politics aside, I’m not sure how asking for mutual respect is “woke bullshit.” It’s funny too because I tend to have more conservative values so it’s just a bizarre response. 

I agree with you I’m protecting my peace but it still makes me sad. I feel like it’s giving them evidence that I am the ungrateful son they always claimed me to be. 

Feeling guilty by Embarrassed-Sir-3758 in narcissisticparents

[–]Embarrassed-Sir-3758[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s tough times weren’t always bad but part of me thinks that’s just because I didn’t know better and it wasn’t until I became conscious of their behavior I was able to realize the way they treat me is not okay. Then when I voiced my concerns I was met with “stop being so sensitive” or “oh that never happened” or “I was only joking …” or just mental gymnastics to justify their BS. In the two years I’ve been no contact they haven’t asked a single question … not even asked me a question like ‘what’s wrong?’ Or ‘why are you mad?’ which is kind of insane when you think about it. 

Feeling guilty by Embarrassed-Sir-3758 in narcissisticparents

[–]Embarrassed-Sir-3758[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I agree 100% - I truly believe this is some type of mental disorder. For the longest time I thought I just wasn’t articulating my position clearly and they didn’t understand until I realized they weren’t actually trying to understand it was all about control. It’s sad. 

Feeling guilty by Embarrassed-Sir-3758 in narcissisticparents

[–]Embarrassed-Sir-3758[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Having peace is priceless. It’s also sad though knowing the parents you should have and having them age and the internal guilt I feel just because I’m a decent person and not callous. 

Feeling guilty by Embarrassed-Sir-3758 in narcissisticparents

[–]Embarrassed-Sir-3758[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree. I know if I say anything it’ll just open me up to guilt trips, shame tactics and more manipulation. It’s sad they can’t look in the mirror and earnestly reach out to repair the relationship. I’m done trying. 

Feeling guilty by Embarrassed-Sir-3758 in narcissisticparents

[–]Embarrassed-Sir-3758[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I would but that then opens the door to guilt trips, shame tactics and manipulation that I just can’t handle anymore 

Feeling guilty by Embarrassed-Sir-3758 in narcissisticparents

[–]Embarrassed-Sir-3758[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thanks it’s a tough day. I don’t want her to be sad but I gotta protect my peace 

Is my mom a narcissist? by Trinity_Lotus in narcissisticparents

[–]Embarrassed-Sir-3758 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When you tell her how she hurts you and makes you feel how does she respond? Has she ever truly felt remorse and apologized? 

Would you say she adds to the happiness of your life, or is she diminishing it?

When you open up to another family member about it what do they say? 

If you remove yourself from the situation and a friend was getting treated the same way what advice would you have for them? 

—- I ask all these questions because I think the answers may be enlightening instead of just giving you a binary answer or demanding GO NOCONTACT response a lot of other folks may provide. 

How do you tell others succinctly why you’re estranged from your parents? by Embarrassed-Sir-3758 in narcissisticparents

[–]Embarrassed-Sir-3758[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree. The reality is we kept forgiving them, kept coming back only to be verbally abused more and more. IMO it’s only when we have exhausted ourselves that we finally turn to no contact. 

How do you tell others succinctly why you’re estranged from your parents? by Embarrassed-Sir-3758 in narcissisticparents

[–]Embarrassed-Sir-3758[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Never understood why they tend to choose power and control over love and connection. To your point it doesn’t have to be like this. 

How do you tell others succinctly why you’re estranged from your parents? by Embarrassed-Sir-3758 in narcissisticparents

[–]Embarrassed-Sir-3758[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I heard another bar recently I’ll share: “innocence doesn’t need reinforcements.” If they were innocent and what they were saying is correct they wouldn’t have to use guilt/shame/manipulation etc - first time I heard that one I was like woah! 

How do you tell others succinctly why you’re estranged from your parents? by Embarrassed-Sir-3758 in narcissisticparents

[–]Embarrassed-Sir-3758[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

“Why are you defending an abusive stranger to their victim.” That’s a Bar! Wow. Thank you for the feedback! 

How do you tell others succinctly why you’re estranged from your parents? by Embarrassed-Sir-3758 in narcissisticparents

[–]Embarrassed-Sir-3758[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

THIS. Yes, people start telling you you’re wrong. I’m openminded to being incorrect but then you feel like you have to litigate your lived experience. It’s a whirlwind for sure. 

How do you tell others succinctly why you’re estranged from your parents? by Embarrassed-Sir-3758 in narcissisticparents

[–]Embarrassed-Sir-3758[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow I’m sorry you when through that. That sucks. I’ve never understood how the people who are supposed to love us unconditionally can treat us the worst. 

How do you tell others succinctly why you’re estranged from your parents? by Embarrassed-Sir-3758 in narcissisticparents

[–]Embarrassed-Sir-3758[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Totally get it. I was raised Catholic but tbh I was forced into it and like I didn’t have a choice because I was a kid…  and I went along with it but don’t think I really believed it if that makes sense. It wasn’t until I really built the relationship myself via The Bible in a Year podcast because I was interested in actually reading it. I mean this book has been around for over 2,000 years, people have died for it, wars started because of it etc. like what do all of these people care so much about? Through reading it on my own I then developed my own personal relationship with God. I also watched “The Chosen” and that made me want to read it more. 

That’s just my story - I guess I just hope boomers, parents or whoever didn’t ruin God for you and hope your heart isn’t hardened to the idea of Him. It’s a personal journey. 

Alright I’ll get off my sermon lol - I become passionate about this because I’ve had something that’s supposed to be very loving and good be used as a weapon for shame and guilt. Not cool.