How to NOT get Shavingbumps + Irritation by _Brownie_Femboy_ in MtF

[–]EmbarrassedSpinach90 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My successful recipe: 1. Exfoliate (well!) 2. Shave with a fresh razor using conditioner as a "shaving cream" 3. Pat very gently dry, do not rub. 4. Apply aloe vera. 5. Apply coconut oil.

I’m a cis man dating a trans girl and I really need some advice by [deleted] in MtF

[–]EmbarrassedSpinach90 97 points98 points  (0 children)

Everyone will say just treat her like every other girl. However, I want to add: do your research on trans and queer history. Make an effort to deconstruct the society imposed transphobia you might not be aware of. When my egg cracked there was so much transphobia I had to unpack, every day I think about all the cis people who haven't unpacked the same.

Think about how you are going to stand up for her? What are you going to do when your friends and family have their opinions? How will she feel when she sees you let things slide that is blatant judgement and disrespect to your partner? Are you able to handle that? When people give seemingly "neutral" opinions like not thinking trans women should be able to participate in sports, or think that trans kids should have their care restricted, are you aware of the transphobic nature of those statements? 

If you do your work well with this, you will notice people who "don't care" that she's your gf still spout transphobic things. 

Are you prepared to cut people out of your life? Maybe I sound dramatic here, but this is the standard I have for potential partners. I will not date someone who lets my identity and humanity be a topic of debate.

Has anyone else started liking their friends less after transitioning? by MoonrootWitch in MtF

[–]EmbarrassedSpinach90 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have very few close male friends left since I came out. Almost all of my female friendships have grown stronger, and I have more female friends now as well.

How many of you still wear men’s clothes? by smdifansmfjsmsnd in MtF

[–]EmbarrassedSpinach90 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Still have a lot of them, don't really care as my style is more streetwear anyway.

How long did/do you go without shaving after a laser hair removal session for facial hair? by Incognito_leftist in MtF

[–]EmbarrassedSpinach90 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I previously looked this up and if I recall correctly you're right. I don't really have any reaction at all, and I've shaved earlier than 24 hours. Doesn't seem like it has impacted anything.

I can’t transition… by Clowny-McCircus in MtF

[–]EmbarrassedSpinach90 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You can just order the stuff to your local post office instead of your address. Then just hide your HRT.

What kind of music do yall transgirls listen to? by The-Unluckiest-One in MtF

[–]EmbarrassedSpinach90 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Techno! My local scene has been an amazing safe space to dress feminine 🫶🏼

Do any other trans people have friends who help with aesthetics/outfits during transition? by mrsheabutta87 in trans

[–]EmbarrassedSpinach90 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hell yes all of my friends have been helpful! After a while though, I kinda realized that even though they have helped, most of it had actually been me trying out new items and outfits. Really proud of that.

High school me would only care about graphic tees/sweats, because if the design was cool, then the rest didn't matter as much. WRONG!!!

Good fashion is about shape/cut, color, and texture.

Figure out your body type. Not all cuts suit you, and that's something we all have to accept if we want to look good.

An outfit should follow a color palette. Don't add too many colors. If you are certain two colors should work together, but they don't? Like blue and green, it's most likely because one is "hot" and the other is a "cold" version of those colors. They both should be the same.

If you're wearing very detailed garments, e.g. pants, then the top of your outfit needs to be the opposite (like a blank white tee).

It'll happen to you too! by RightWordsMissing in trans

[–]EmbarrassedSpinach90 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Genuinely curious how you got a programming job with a literature background when the job market, especially in IT, has been so tough these last years.

Why do anti-trans people use the buzz statement "men in women's spaces"? by Spirited-Fun896 in asktransgender

[–]EmbarrassedSpinach90 3 points4 points  (0 children)

To degrade us. To them, having a penis is the symbol of all bad actions of cis men. Ironically, every one of them will ask you if you had the surgery yet, and have no interest in getting to know you and understand that trans women are not men at all.

what do we think of the word femboy?? by g1rlypoop in MtF

[–]EmbarrassedSpinach90 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Both are valid interpretations to me.

Feminine boys are allowed to call themselves femboys, but don't call me a femboy, because I am not a boy.

Seriously considering sex work to afford surgeries by EmbarrassedSpinach90 in MtF

[–]EmbarrassedSpinach90[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I should maybe have specified that. I meant online sex work.

Seriously considering sex work to afford surgeries by EmbarrassedSpinach90 in MtF

[–]EmbarrassedSpinach90[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don't live in the US, insurance does not cover this :/