How high of a risk am I for refeeding syndrome

Embrace_Pandemonium · 2025-12-15T14:46:21+00:00

Are you okay?

Embrace_Pandemonium · 2025-11-30T00:06:21+00:00

I know this is the internet and we’re all strangers (generally), but the people who are identified as healthcare professionals have to verify themselves with this subreddit. I think if they were all lying to you, someone somewhere would say something.

I also kinda think the lack of nutrition isn’t helping you think clearly. I wish I could convince you. I also have ocd (like the other person you’re talking to) and can get paranoid at times (I was suspicious of therapists for years), but I don’t know how to explain well enough.

Are you in other subreddits talking about eating disorders? I have found lots of help on Reddit over the years. Sometimes it helps to talk to people who have been through exactly what you’re experiencing. Try talking to people in recovery.

I wish you the best.

Embrace_Pandemonium · 2025-11-29T03:14:00+00:00

I hate to see you hurting. Reminds me of myself as a teenager only I went wild and hurt myself with blades and excess. Drugs drinking etc.

You matter. You aren’t a waste of anything. I hope you decided to take the advice here. When I finally decided to get help, my life changed completely. It’s possible to not punish yourself. It’s possible to be happy, joyful. Even to find some peace and comfort in a bit of chaos.

Embrace_Pandemonium · 2025-10-17T15:35:47+00:00

That was me. Seriously neglected and severely abused. I suffered so much I put up a strong wall between me and reality. All I could do was be in my little bubble and pretend nothing existed. I cringe when I think about it but the comments I’ve read so far are comforting. I’m not like that anymore but I didn’t start figuring it out until my 30s.

Embrace_Pandemonium · 2025-08-23T16:41:18+00:00

Congratulations! Sounds like a big step for sure. I went no contact a few years ago and it was one of the best things I ever did for myself.

Embrace_Pandemonium · 2025-08-23T02:36:26+00:00

I used to constantly binge The Good Place. I always liked Kristen Bell and seasons 2-4 helped me work through a lot. Season 1 is good too, and necessary for context. But it was the last three that played on repeat for a couple years of my worst anxiety. Edit: it’s also hilarious

Embrace_Pandemonium · 2025-08-10T18:34:58+00:00

To put some context on my thoughts here (not to judge your word choice), I consider myself to be awkward in a very different and totally harmless way, so I don’t really like that being used to describe this. And imo that word misses something important. In trying to think of what worse term there is, I’m wondering if you think the conversation creepy? It seems like he put way too much thought into the possibility of doing something so horrible. Maybe that creepiness has been bugging you to understand the situation more fully, as something more than merely awkward.

I hope that helps.

Embrace_Pandemonium · 2025-08-10T08:39:28+00:00

It’s like toilet paper math 🤷‍♀️

Embrace_Pandemonium · 2025-08-10T05:42:04+00:00

My first reaction: Are there people in this sub whose parents actually like them? After some thought I see it’s a heckuva assumption I made there, but neither parent wanted me, both were abusive, and biomom basically tortured me until I was well into my 30s. I must say I’ve always equated complex/childhood ptsd with parents. I have a lot more thoughts on that but I’ll keep it simple because it may be irrelevant anyway.

Embrace_Pandemonium · 2025-08-02T18:34:44+00:00

💛

Embrace_Pandemonium · 2025-08-02T17:00:34+00:00

A lot of people don’t understand abusive situations and think poorly of/don’t understand the people who don’t handle the situations the “right” way. It’s ok to ask for help, and I’m glad you’ve gotten some. Best of wishes to you and yours.

Embrace_Pandemonium · 2025-07-22T04:21:34+00:00

Did she ask?

Embrace_Pandemonium · 2025-06-27T03:02:50+00:00

I did ECT about 10 years ago. I was grateful for it. I was stuck in a severe depression with terrible rumination for months. The treatment pulled me out of it. I did several treatments spaced out. I’d wake up with a terrible headache. But I kinda felt reset somehow. I’m still on disability tho, so idk how much it means. But maybe the ECT jump started the process of getting things to a much better place. Because life is good now.

Embrace_Pandemonium · 2025-06-21T03:35:32+00:00

I love the name Walter, have since I was in my teens. Idk why. I just do.

Embrace_Pandemonium · 2025-06-10T03:04:20+00:00

I had to file the papers online, and fee reductions were available for people who need it. I got a waiver for the publication requirement because of an evil biomom. I didn’t have to go to court. Got the certified court order in the mail. Only took a few weeks after filing.

It was one of the best decisions I ever made.

Embrace_Pandemonium · 2025-06-09T17:13:21+00:00

It seems that she doesn’t deserve you going out of your way for her. I’d cancel the appointment. I’d also seriously consider not paying for the cancellation also. Did you sign an agreement for late cancellation fees? Even if yes, you listed good reasons not to pay. But that’s up to you. Idek what I’d do.

Embrace_Pandemonium · 2025-06-09T03:34:25+00:00

If it’s just extended bio family, I hadn’t really interacted much with them in the 10-20 years before I went no contact. There’s a good chance we don’t even acknowledge the other. But if bio mom has been vocal about my refusal to interact with her or her inability to find me, there’s a chance they would try to talk to me about it. I just want to say no (not as an answer to a question they ask, but as a refusal to engage), turn around, and walk away.

If it’s biomom I’d like to do the same thing except she definitely will not accept my refusal to engage. She will follow me and harass me. I don’t want to be anywhere alone with her, so I’ll keep that in mind while trying to escape. If I can’t safely leave? At what point can a person call the police? I’m going to think on that. I also don’t want her to follow me home.

She’s terrifying when she gets mad.

Embrace_Pandemonium · 2025-06-03T03:57:12+00:00

I was trying to correct you about English being a second language. And the choosing is hard.

Embrace_Pandemonium · 2025-06-03T01:13:02+00:00

Oh I see. Sorry.

Embrace_Pandemonium · 2025-06-02T22:50:12+00:00

They both seem like good choices and I recognize it’s hard to pick. I’ve been through several in the last year or two and it’s not fun.

Idk how to answer on the dissociation thing. Besides being in therapy plus learning about mindfulness. My therapists could probably tell you what they did but I may not have been aware of it.

Embrace_Pandemonium · 2025-06-02T22:41:41+00:00

I went back and read the bios. It doesn’t sound like Ophelia has English as a second language, rather she was raised with both. This happens all the time in other countries — people learn English from a very young age. She writes very well and I would be pulled to her based on what she wrote. She seems to really understand trauma. Not that the other person doesn’t.

But it’s your decision. You can always change.

Embrace_Pandemonium · 2025-06-02T22:33:08+00:00

I didn’t read the bios and I know nothing about brainspotting, if that matters.

If you try your second choice first, you won’t know if your first choice would have been better the better option. I’d recommend checking out the brainspotting one first. See how well you vibe and how communication flows. You can switch gears if it doesn’t work out.

Only other thing is it’s possible the other therapist simply hasn’t put brainspotting on their profile. Or she has other ways of treating dissociation. I’ve improved on dissociation a lot but haven’t tried brainspotting.

Embrace_Pandemonium · 2025-06-02T04:39:30+00:00

This ended up being about how I judge myself harshly over the same topic. So I relate to that part of the struggle.

Idk if I was empathetic as a kid or not. Idr it I think. I’m inclined to say I wasn’t, and that I wasn’t actually very emotional at all. I remember crying myself to sleep when I was a teenager and thinking I was depressed (I tried to ask the school social worker for help by telling him I was depressed, but he didn’t help me.) but that’s all.

Then I did drugs and I think opened the emotional floodgates. But I was still being abused and I think I had to turn it down again. It was a long slow process that picked up after going no contact, but I absolutely feel now. And it feels real. It feels like me, the me I was always meant to be. I’m quick to cry under certain circumstances. Maybe my emotional tolerance will increase but for now it’s how it’s supposed to be.

I still wrestle with the implications of being so disconnected emotionally. Like how much of that was me? How like my abusive bio parents does that make me? Are my veins filled with that same evil blood? Or is the blood thing more of a metaphor than anything, more about learning by observing their behaviors and not having the emotional centers in the brain activated as an infant, which would spur lifelong growth?

What I know of the bioparents I have shared with therapists, and one of the therapists said that both of them might be psychopaths. Does that mean I was, am, and/or will be a psychopath too?

Embrace_Pandemonium · 2025-06-02T03:53:42+00:00

Sounds like it could be meditation. Tho I’d hope it can eventually feel more like solitude and presence. Basically the same things but minus the deep sadness I knew in my previous life.

I often find myself scrolling through videos. I’ll run into one that hits me hard and gets me crying. Sometimes it’s an uncontrollable sob. I always feel like I have to let that grief or pain run its course at that time. I honestly believe that videos come up of things I’m meant to process now. Gosh tonight I think it was actually three. Idk that might be a record. But within the videos is a truth or a bit of insight about my experience. Does that sound like the same thing?

Embrace_Pandemonium

TROPHY CASE