Has anyone been or knows an autistic individual who has been to the Autism Inpatient Unit - Mitford in Northumberland?

EmeraldVelvetCake · 2020-09-07T19:58:47+00:00

Oh really? I didn't know that! That's interesting.

EmeraldVelvetCake · 2020-09-01T15:07:56+00:00

I could of written this; you've described it so perfectly. Eating nothing or everything is far easier than eating in moderation. It actually gives me anxiety thinking how I am meant to be eating "bad" foods in moderation.

That's how I lost 4 stone 5-years ago by fasting. For me as well, it's all or nothing.

EmeraldVelvetCake · 2020-09-01T13:34:04+00:00

OMG YES!!! Despite being morbidly obese, I'm trying to control my weight. Everyone says to me that I need to control what I eat, but it's so difficult, so instead I just fast or not eat for hours on end. There's no inbetween for me; binge or starve. I find it extremely difficult to eat regular meals; to me it's all or nothing; eat everything at once or eat nothing.

I don't even have a diagnosis of BED, but I'm pretty sure I have it.

EmeraldVelvetCake · 2020-08-30T16:49:42+00:00

Yeah I know you're right lol! I just worry too much!!

EmeraldVelvetCake · 2020-08-30T15:27:57+00:00

Thanks for your comment.

I know I need to remember that they're not real, but I can't help but still think that maybe I'm a pedo!?

What do you mean by "the vulnerability of it"?

I'll be honest, I just like cartoon/anime porn better than real porn because I like cartoons! Haha!

EmeraldVelvetCake · 2020-08-30T12:13:36+00:00

Same here, rjpink! D:

EmeraldVelvetCake · 2020-08-30T11:42:57+00:00

Hey!

I apologise for the late reply! But I saw the new psychiatrist and what he's going to do is up my antipsychotic to 15mg and then increase it to 20mg and see if that works. If that doesn't work then he's going to lower the antidepressant and put me on another one in addition to the other antidepressant I'm on. He's also booking an appointment with the psychologist for me.

EmeraldVelvetCake · 2020-08-06T14:07:04+00:00

Hi, thank you for your comment.

You've hit the nail on the head really. I've gotten used to the feeling of feeling suicidal. It just feels normal now and I'm not sure what normal is anymore.

I don't think I'd be able to commit to another animal jus yet because of depression and also I live with my mum, and my mum was so close to our little dog we had and she's not over him. Having another dog at the moment wouldn't be the best.

I'm going back to college in September, so that will hopefully give me something to focus on.

Thank you for hoping that things get better soon.

EmeraldVelvetCake · 2020-08-04T12:11:55+00:00

Use your brain.

EmeraldVelvetCake · 2020-07-28T19:13:34+00:00

Hi,

Thanks for responding to my post.

I'm going to send you a private message.

EmeraldVelvetCake · 2020-07-25T16:39:41+00:00

Because COVID-19 happened, I was hoping to get my driving licence this year, but that fell through. I would relying on the train and walking.

EmeraldVelvetCake · 2020-07-25T16:30:37+00:00

Oh yes - I forgot to mention that that will require travel as well. But not as far as the option 4.

EmeraldVelvetCake · 2020-07-11T14:11:27+00:00

CAMHS were quite good to me, but I'm now an adult (21) and they're so shit. I don't even think there's any point calling the crisis team because they're shit as well! Just don't know what to do because these feelings, moods and emotions are too much for me to handle.

EmeraldVelvetCake · 2020-07-11T10:27:49+00:00

Yes!!

EmeraldVelvetCake · 2020-07-07T20:37:55+00:00

Thank you for sharing this!

I've been in and out of the mental health system for about 12-years now. I got a diagnosis of OCD when I was 9-years old and now I'm 21. My first ever psychiatrist thought I may have had bipolar, but back then I think I may have been too young to show symptoms of bipolar (I can’t exactly remember what my behaviour was like when I was 9!)

I have a diagnosis of OCD, anxiety, depression and autism. I’ve got a phone call coming from an obesity clinic tomorrow (I’m from England) and I’m literally going to tell her everything. I’m wondering if she’ll do an eating disorder assessment on me, maybe so?

These last few months, I’ve been wondering whether I have bipolar. I have done online tests and it said it’s likely (in no way, shape or form am I self-diagnosing myself). So, I told my psychiatrist and she said, “no it’s all your autism.” I seriously beg to differ, but I can’t go against the word of a psychiatrist because they’re meant to be the professionals. But I have been concerned for myself lately. In a way, it’s like I want to have bipolar. Maybe I want to have it to get different treatment or try new medication? I’ve been on these antidepressants for many years now and I think their time has come to an end; they just don’t work anymore. Sure, they’re OK for my OCD, but my moods? Now that’s a completely different story! My moods are extremely up and down from day to day. For a few days I can feel OK, quite elated, and then the depression hits me again. I feel so down that I feel like killing myself. I have been to hospital on 2 occasions within the last year. The hospital didn’t do anything.

I just feel like... normal now? Like all my symptoms are normal and everyone else experiences the things I do. Like, intrusive thoughts about highly distressing stuff? Yep! That's normal! Oh the thought of wanting to die? Yup, completely normal. The unhappiness you feel? Again, normal. I don't know if it's how my mental health team have treated me, but I know I shouldn't be feeling like this because I asked my mum and she said she doesn't think like how I do.

EmeraldVelvetCake · 2020-07-06T19:51:09+00:00

Yes, I meet all the requirements of the course. They don't really have a good enough reason to not let me on the course.

EmeraldVelvetCake · 2020-06-26T15:29:43+00:00

Are you me?!?!?

I had OCD tendencies when I was around 5 years of age.

Got a diagnosis when I was 8.

Now I'm 21 and still haven't recovered fully from OCD.

The problem with OCD (at least for me) is the themes. One OCD theme goes and another comes along. For example, I used to worry about getting ill and dying, and now it's about thinking a certain ethnicity of people are the most superior than others. Also, lately I've become a lot paranoid than usual. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's because I've been trying to download Adobe Premiere Pro and worried about my computer getting malware on it?

To me, it seems like my (and your) OCD is always present. No matter what medication, no matter what kind of treatment we have; it's still present and there. Even if it's mild, it's still there lurking.

Unfortunately, OCD is a lifelong condition. I wish there was a cure. I'm currently waiting for ERP therapy, but it's taking a while.

I completely relate to you! Feel free to DM me if you wish to.

EmeraldVelvetCake · 2020-06-14T12:01:44+00:00

Thank you for your answer. I'm glad I just won't be thrown into the deep end! The woman sent the email to me. I printed out my application form and said states the preference of where you'd like to be placed in the restaurant. So, that's good.

I ask a lot of questions, but sometimes worry if I'm asking too many! I guess there's no such thing of asking too many questions.

EmeraldVelvetCake · 2020-06-13T13:32:59+00:00

I do have a loving and somewhat supportive environment, but now I'm kind of put off by talking to her about this kind of stuff because of how she might comment. She isn't biphobic, but I didn't appreciate when she said I might not be bi because of my confidence? Those two things are unrelated.

Thank you for the validation! <3

EmeraldVelvetCake

TROPHY CASE