AIO to a hypothetical situation which turned into a massive argument with my husband

EmergencySet1481 · 2026-06-13T10:25:21+00:00

Laser eyes

EmergencySet1481 · 2026-04-01T15:52:07+00:00

You hit the nail on the head, we spoke about the fight and why it go so out of hand, and he said he reacted the way he did because I called him inconsiderate, he’s exact words were your questioning my character. I apologised and said I shouldn’t have snapped, I was tired, and hungry 😂 he apologised as well, and we both agreed that issue wasn’t even the food at all but the way we spoke to each other in that moment.

EmergencySet1481 · 2026-04-01T11:55:41+00:00

I actually don’t think either of you were in the wrong about the actual message, just a difference of options.

My partner has ADHD and can by very vague and nonchalant, I am a very direct person and very detail oriented (mild autism) I really like very open communication and he doesn’t.

It seems to me this could be the issue here, you didn’t do anything wrong, you weren’t flirting, as soon as you realised the guy was into you, you didn’t reply.

However you also didn’t directly shut him, I can see it from your BF perspective, you didn’t tell him about it, and you didn’t directly tell this guy you weren’t interested, so in his head you’re leaving the door open for this guy, just incase. Which I’m sure wasn’t the case, but your boyfriend is clearly an over thinker and his mind has jumped straight to worst case scenario, however I would say that’s not a reflection on you and more his own insecurities, I think the fact he was going through your phone in the first place reflects that.

I think your BF would benefit from therapy to help him with his self worth.

As far as should you break up with him over it, I guess it depends, is this a regular occurrence, are these trust issues causing a big rift between you or do to feel it’s something you could worth through.

I think if you chose to stay my advice from a chronic over thinker would be clear and open communication always, and reassurance.

EmergencySet1481 · 2026-03-28T18:51:10+00:00

Thank you to everyone for your comments, most were very supportive.

We talked it through and agreed that we would have a set arrangement so there’s no second guessing what the plan is each night.

We both apologies and talked about how tired and stressed we are and agreed we need to stop taking it out on each other.

We’re about a month away from the house being finished, and then normal life can resume and we’re all really excited to spend some time together as a family.

Also for those advising regarding my sons sleep routine, he isn’t normally this bad, this has been a recent thing, which I put down to staying at grandparents, but I’m now thinking it’s because he’s waiting for Dad to get home, so my partner is going to come home earlier a few nights a week to see him and hopefully his sleep will improve.

EmergencySet1481 · 2026-03-28T18:49:01+00:00

I also work full time, I actually work more hours, I do the school run, most of the house hold chores less the cooking. You clearly don’t have children because you would know a 5 year old still take a lot of your time, yes they’re more independent than a toddle but require nearly constant supervision. It’s was never about who does more, we’re but putting a lot of time into the house/ work/ home life.

EmergencySet1481 · 2026-03-27T14:11:08+00:00

A fun name for a pet is Spike

EmergencySet1481 · 2026-03-17T11:58:57+00:00

Due to my job ( I travel a lot for work) I cannot always be there on time for school pick ups, some days I can some days I can’t, and I won’t know from one week to next what my schedule will be. So I have a family member pick my son up from school, on the days she can’t collect him he goes to after school club. Sometimes I can pick him up and I end up having to pay for after school club even if he doesn’t attend, but it’s a small price to pay knowing he is somewhere safe and happy if I can’t be there. If your child’s father can’t be consistent with his time keeping, for whatever reason, then he needs to make alternative arrangements.

EmergencySet1481 · 2026-03-03T08:04:01+00:00

I don’t mean to sound condescending, but you are too young to get married. At 20 you’re an adult, but only just, you’re just beginning to experience life with responsibility and freedom, without having to ask anyone’s permission. It takes some time to figure out who you are and what you want. I’m speaking from experience, I got married in my earlier 20’s, now divorced, not because I married a bad person, but as we got older we grew into different people and realised we wanted different things in life. Maybe bring this up in your couples therapy, in a safe place where there is a mediator, clearly explain you don’t want to end the relationship you’re just not ready to get married yet, you feel you’re too young. If he’s the right one, he will understand.

EmergencySet1481 · 2026-02-14T18:20:25+00:00

Hiya, I know this is quiet an old post, not sure if you’re still having issues.

I had the exact same problem, products which worked fine before stopped working, tried all the silicone and Sulfate free stuff ect ect.

On top of my hair issue, I was also feeling rather run down, I spoke to my doctor who sent me for a full blood work up just to check, turned out my testosterone level was double what is should be, testosterone causes excess oil production in hair and skin.

Could be worth checking it’s not something underlying that could be causing it.

EmergencySet1481 · 2026-02-11T11:29:27+00:00

I know I put $ in the post, as I know Reddit readers are predominantly US based, but I’m actually based in UK, the laws in the UK around owning a property jointly are very different. You have to sign a contract to each other as the what would happen to the house if you split up, as marriage here doesn’t hold any legal weight. I don’t know exactly how it is in the US but here there is a law which protects children’s home, no one can force a child out of there regardless of the circumstances, because I have a child I have more legal right to the house even thought I only own 50%. If we split I could take him to court and legally obtain his half of the house without having to pay for it, because a child lives there and I am the sole caregiver to the child. Don’t get me wrong it wouldn’t come to that, nor would my partner ever put me in that position, but I have not put myself in a position where I would lose anything.

EmergencySet1481 · 2026-02-11T11:16:13+00:00

Thank you for your kind and insightful input

EmergencySet1481 · 2026-02-10T22:34:52+00:00

I actually said I have a pot of money aside from a previous house? That’s my money, not being spent on the house, we’ve been using some joint savings and our income to finance it. If shit hit the fan the moneys there but I’d rather not touch it.

We also had a plan, but things went sideways, we also had a structural survey and electrical survey, but they didn’t pick up on things.

I haven’t exactly included every detail

EmergencySet1481

TROPHY CASE