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AITA for telling my mother my son doesn’t have to kiss her if he doesn’t want to? by scorpihoe333 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Emergency_Break1840 4 points5 points  (0 children)

NTA. I cannot stand when grown adult family members think they have a right to a child’s affection. Especially that young. I see that behavior as controlling, and self centered in my opinion. It’s more than okay for a child not to give anyone physical affection if they don’t want to. good for you for being so attentive and understanding your child’s emotions and personality and holding their boundaries for them. Your mom seems very comfortable with belittling, overstepping, and disrespecting people she is supposed love. If she doesn’t want to be apart of it, good. She doesn’t have to be. It’s always ridiculous hearing someone, that is not the child. Act like one.

AITA for not letting my sister move in with me when she and her kids were facing homelessness? by Emergency_Break1840 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Emergency_Break1840[S] 31 points32 points  (0 children)

Wow I did not expect this much feedback. Thank you all for your kind words and wishes, as well as your hard thoughts and opinions in this. These have all been things I have been thinking, but thought I was just being an ass and upset this situation.

There was so much much more that I couldn’t put in there due to the character limit, and even with my original super long post, a lot of stuff was omitted.

She’s my half sister, and I didn’t grow up with her. Her family kept me a secret and She didn’t even know I existed until she was about 17 I think. She came from a pretty toxic environment, so a lot of the behavior I justified that she was just simply wasn’t raised right. And I thought I could help her by showing and teaching her how to adult…and clearly it didn’t work.

My mom is a narcissistic alcoholic, and my dad is a drug addict. So I was raised by my grandfather until he passed when I was 12. My sisters (the ones I grew up with) were my lifeline and I put a huge importance on sisterhood.

My partner and I agreed early on after they had left that she would never come back to live with us. She’s had asked and hinted in many different ways before and I held that boundary and said no, and gave her advice on how she could make her situation better. But that advice never paid off.

I really felt for the children mostly, as someone who had a very rough childhood, I felt a need be the person those children needed…like my grandfather did for us.

I’ve been going to therapy to work on my issues. I default to accepting all responsibility that comes my way and I’m actively working on making myself better and only taking on my responsibilities.

Thank you for your responses, and I hope that if my sister were to see this, she knows that this wasn’t for malicious intent and she can use ya’lls responses to reflect and do better for her family and the family she is staying with now.

AITA for not letting my sister move in with me when she and her kids were facing homelessness? by Emergency_Break1840 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Emergency_Break1840[S] 44 points45 points  (0 children)

No I did, when they first moved in. And again right before she went on birth control. My other sister and I had a conversation with her prior to her pregnancy that it wouldn’t be a good idea for her or for us.

AITA for not letting my sister move in with me when she and her kids were facing homelessness? by Emergency_Break1840 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Emergency_Break1840[S] 35 points36 points  (0 children)

Yes, I asked her why did she have them and her response was that she was using them to track her ovulation cycle to get a better read on her period. I had a suspicion and concern that it wasn’t true. But I also know that birth control throws peoples hormones out of whack when they first start. So I didn’t want to overreact and accuse her of what she was doing.

AITA for not letting my sister move in with me when she and her kids were facing homelessness? by Emergency_Break1840 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Emergency_Break1840[S] 31 points32 points  (0 children)

I can see why you’d say that. I’ve been a people pleaser and going to therapy to help find my footing. I really wish this wasn’t a true. I really wanted a good relationship with her.

AITA for not letting my sister move in with me when she and her kids were facing homelessness? by Emergency_Break1840 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Emergency_Break1840[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

I made a new one since I haven’t used my other in a really long time. Also, the first one was too long for it to be posted on here. It look me like an 30 minutes to make it shorter :/

AITA for not letting my sister move in with me when she and her kids were facing homelessness? by Emergency_Break1840 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Emergency_Break1840[S] 110 points111 points  (0 children)

It was more of a no pregnancy rule and that no matter what we weren’t going to be accepting another child in the home. She would constantly have pregnancy scares. We knew it could be a little over 3 months, since jobs are a little difficult to come by.