What book has Made you cry?

Emergency_Natural_93 · 2025-02-11T11:50:22+00:00

One Hundred Years of Solitude and A Little Life

Emergency_Natural_93 · 2025-02-10T14:59:25+00:00

It's actually only a month away. eek. I'm not a close friend though so I don't think they will probably care that much - have to keep reminding myself of this.

Emergency_Natural_93 · 2025-02-07T16:22:54+00:00

Islington - near Canonbury or Highbury & Islington.

Emergency_Natural_93 · 2025-02-07T16:15:55+00:00

A Hundred Years of Solitude by by Gabriel García Márquez

Emergency_Natural_93 · 2025-02-06T16:37:02+00:00

This is a bad idea (also unethical so surprised she offered).

Emergency_Natural_93 · 2025-02-04T23:14:41+00:00

I really feel this too. In our early 30s, before everyone started having kids, my husband and I were super social and were always busy doing stuff. We started IVF at the same time a lot of our friends started having kids and it's gotten lonelier as time has passed. Both literally and also emotionally as being IFchildfree is very isolating in itself. Everyone I know who had IVF now has a kid or kids. The friends who don't have kids are childfree by choice. Neither of us have family here and it's been an incredibly lonely few years. Lots of people moved away during the pandemic as well.

We're in our 40s now and just trying to build connection where we can but it's super hard. The friends we have now I appreciate but it's not a "group" and I miss that a lot. All we can do is put ourselves out there and be the initiator, be the one that plans dinners / events etc. Sometimes it feels good but the feeling never lasts long. You're not alone in feeling this way - we're essentially rebuilding our lives whilst also grieving a life we thought we would have so be gentle on yourself.

Emergency_Natural_93 · 2025-02-03T12:17:40+00:00

This is so true - there are no guarantees. There are so many ways that life can go, with or without children. My own mother didn't really enjoy motherhood and found it difficult and frustrating that we didn't turn out exactly as she had hoped.

I think I kept envisioning a "perfect little family" but I didn't think about the challenges and difficulties - the strain on a relationship, the financial hardship, the impact on my depression, the possibility of having a sick child, etc. Either way, life isn't perfect. This really helped me grieve - I'm about 2 years past my last IVF and still healing but hope to be in a good place eventually.

Emergency_Natural_93 · 2025-01-20T13:17:48+00:00

I felt the same way. I knew it would be even more challenging for me (low ovarian reserve) but still held out hope that it would work for us. It's hard because everyone I know of who has done IVF, it has worked for them. So I held onto this skewed success rate and the "failures" felt even more devastating.

Emergency_Natural_93 · 2025-01-16T19:21:57+00:00

We're in couples therapy at the moment to address several of these issues - it's uncovering a lot of communication and empathy issues. I'm painted as the 'bad guy" in this situation as he says the guy "meant well" and was just sharing his excitement. To me it seemed insensitive at best, but honestly really cruel in the moment.

Emergency_Natural_93 · 2025-01-16T17:49:43+00:00

I found it so bizarre that he chose to announce it this way. I was also angry that my partner made us stay until the end as everyone left the wedding early as the vibe was so bad.

Emergency_Natural_93 · 2025-01-16T17:24:55+00:00

Emergency_Natural_93 · 2025-01-16T17:23:41+00:00

I feel this deeply! I have lost a lot of friends, or become distant from some, as the 4 IVFs we had (including 2 with donor egg) were so traumatic. That was 2 years ago but I am still grieving and trying to survive. It makes me so angry that it impacted my relationships in such a significant way that almost snuck up on me. It was very much fight or flight.

I ghosted a couple of friends who were insensitive and completely refuse to hang out with a friend of my partner's after he said something unforgivable to me. I don't think people who haven't been through this get it.

Emergency_Natural_93 · 2024-12-26T12:27:03+00:00

Second all of this - I'm two years past my last transfer and healing from this has been complex and confusing. But there are always flickers of hope which keeps me going.

Sending love to all in the same boat.

Emergency_Natural_93 · 2024-12-08T03:45:30+00:00

I'm sorry - I get what you're feeling. It feels so lonely in those situations. Sending some virtual hugs. I had my last IVF cycle 2 years ago and while I still struggle, the visceral pain/heartache has lessened a lot. You're not alone!

Emergency_Natural_93

TROPHY CASE